Grieving V

Grief is in our hands, we can lament the “loss” or celebrate the eternal treasures someone passed on to us through the profound love shared in a life together.

I choose the latter.

It brings me peace and comfort and gratitude that blossoms into joy. Joy that we had each other long enough to know authentic love. Joy that God saw fit to bring us together in this life and find love and friendship that continue to reap an abundant harvest of treasured gifts.  

COPYRIGHT © 2023 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER All Rights Reserved

TURNING POINTS

When I see social media posts that provide new insights into grieving, I consider the sentiment expressed and seek to understand what prompted it. Each such experience enhances the mastery of my grieving process and brings new joy to my heart.

Baby Conrad – Garden of Innocence

When we got the message that a baby boy was coming to Garden of Innocence, all our volunteers and coordinators went into action fulfilling their normal assigned tasks. Arrangements were made to pick up the baby, a date for the service was set, a mortuary was arranged to hold him till the service, he was assigned a name, a poem was written, the Knights of Columbus were notified, and all other aspects were performed. A guest minister was scheduled, as well as musicians and everything was set. The baby was named Conrad.

The Friday night before the service I went to bed around eleven o’clock. Lying there I heard my phone ring. “Hello, this is Allan.”

“Hi Allan, this is Rick. I have bad news. I just got a call from the guest minister. He’s in Chicago and his flight was cancelled and he will not make it to the service tomorrow.”

I said, “Rick, don’t worry, I have this covered. I will see you tomorrow.”

I lay there and prayed, “Dear Heavenly Father, You know what needs to be done for Baby Conrad. Please bless me and guide me and enable me to provide a service for this baby tomorrow. Thank you in advance. Amen!”

In the middle of the night, I was suddenly awakened with the thought of the words from Isaiah 55, My thoughts are not your thoughts saith the Lord!

I said to myself, “Okay, that’s the text for the service tomorrow” and went back to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and headed straight to my computer where I went to my on-line bible to extract Isaiah 55; 6 & 8-9 (NKJV) Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving and asked for some elaboration on this scripture. I was inspired to look up the meaning of the name Conrad.

I found that Conrad meant Bold & Wise Counselor. “Wow!” I thought, “What bold wisdom has Conrad about to pass on to me?”

I pondered, what does this mean relative to this scriptural statement?

I was taken back to previous services at Garden of Innocence and recalled the conversations I overheard. Things like, “Oh, he’s now an Angel” or “Now she can play on a swing” or “Now he can fly a kite!” And many more of these thoughts were expressed.

I wondered why do we have these thoughts? We like to think of Conrad as an angel, but why? We are comforted by them as we think of an angel with all its angelic characteristics. We like to think he is playing about as he would have had he lived, but why? It is comforting to think this, its familiar to us. We like to think they are well behaved, obedient, “angelic”, that makes us feel good.

I thought these are nice feelings to have but wait, God’s thoughts are higher than these. What would His thoughts be that would be higher?

What are angels, really? There are created by God to serve Him and those He loves. He gave them extraordinary characteristics and power to fulfill that purpose. What is Baby Conrad and all the other babies in our Garden? Angels? But wait, he and all the babies are Children of God and hence much higher than angels.

Imagine now the higher thoughts and ways of God. How does He see Conrad? Not as an angel but as His Child! A Child of God has different characteristics than angels

What do you think God had in mind when Jesus said:

Matthew 18:2-5 (NKJV) Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

So, what characteristics does God see? What is He looking for that is so much higher than ours?

Humble, trusting, accepting of God’s love.

There is one profound difference that Conrad and all our babies have from all the other abandoned babies who have died. These countless souls never had someone to love them. They have no knowledge of God and His love. Who can reach them when all they know is rejections and abandonment? But Conrad and all our babies who also suffered abandonment are different because of your love for them. When we held Conrad in our arms and loved him, we conveyed the Love of God that we share to him. By that act of love, Conrad has now known the love of God.

In these higher perspectives of God, Conrad has become a real treasure, because God now has another messenger to join those who preceded him in the Garden here. What is Conrad’s message? Who does he speak to? I propose to you that they are all who have never felt the love of God through their parents, through those who were meant to love them.

My closing words of the sermon were: Rejoice my friends, you have been today for Conrad the love of God. You held him in your arms, you prayed for his soul, you loved him, and he has loved you. Let us praise our God for giving us this extraordinary opportunity to advance the Garden’s army of babies as they do the great work of proving the love of God to the uncountable multitude of souls that have passed on from this life without ever feeling such love.

TURNING POINT:

This experience taught me that when there is a spiritual need and God calls for someone to step up and step in, He will provide exactly what is needed. Trusting Him give courage to overcome any fear of inadequacy and the resulting experience deepen faith and joy in serving. The perspective from this experience shows the great love that God has for those who departed this life under very terrible  conditions, and was highlighted by Jesus visit to those departed who were disobedient in Noah’s time.

COPYRIGHT © 2022 ALLAN MUSTERER all Rights Reserved

Garden of Innocence

I have had many amazing experiences at Garden of Innocence San Diego and Orange County. I have documented some of them on my previous blog posts. You can find them by Searching for Garden of Innocence.

Recently, a very moving set of experiences took place at the burial service for Baby Zoey, a baby I named to honor a very dear friend. At the ceremony, my friend Zoey’s uncle was in attendance. He was moved by the Garden experience.

Earlier this year, his cinema company created a Public Service Announcement video in support of Garden of Innocence. This June, he and his wife won two Emmys for their work on the PSA along with their team at American Dream Cinema.

The touching and dramatic message captures exquisitely the noble mission of our Gardens. Please watch it and follow your heart. If it touches you as it has so many, please donate. Even small amounts can and will make a difference for our babies. If you can’t donate, please forward this website to your friends and direct them to this post so they can watch this amazing video.

Click on this link: GOI-PSA-100

Miranda Eve ~ A Voice from the Past

On the morning of May 19, 2016 my dear friend Elissa Davey, founder of Garden of Innocence, received an unusual request. A lady living in San Francisco was having her house remodeled. The construction company needed to remove a slab of concrete from the floor of her garage. The broken slab uncovered a unique casket containing the body of a young child. The casket had been there since the late 1800’s. Elissa was contacted because the local coroner’s office knew of Garden of Innocence and the work they do burying abandoned and unidentified babies (www.gardenofinnocence.org). They trusted that the situation this discovery posed to the homeowner could best be resolved by Garden of Innocence.

In order to realize the gravity of the situation, some history needs to be understood. San Francisco at the turn of the 20th century was growing at such a rate that land was at a premium. The city fathers decided that all cemeteries within the city needed to be removed to make room for houses. It was reported that their justification for such an extreme measure came from the fact that some cemeteries were not being cared for and people were using them as a “lover’s lane.”

Sometime around 1920, nearly half a million bodies were exhumed and placed in mass burial sites in a number of cemeteries in Colma, a small town just south of San Francisco. It became obvious that some of those interred so many years ago in San Francisco were left behind.

With the unexpected discovery during excavation, the homeowner was faced with a real dilemma with this casket and the child’s body it contained. It was lying in the open in her backyard. She discovered that reburial was going to be very expensive, one quote being $7,000. She was told by the authorities that she couldn’t just bury the casket again without a death certificate. That posed an impossible situation. How could she get a death certificate for someone without a name or date of death? Added to that issue was the fact that the homeowner was living out of the state while her home was being remodeled. It was a logistical and financial nightmare. More investigation at the suggestion of the authorities revealed a quote in excess of $20,000. The situation looked very grim. That is when Elissa was contacted.

In spite of the fact that this was not an abandoned baby, when Elissa was apprised of the situation she decided that Garden of Innocence had to step up and step in to rescue this child and provide her a dignified reburial. Now Elissa’s work began in earnest. She was not one to worry and fret over difficult challenges. As is her nature, she jumped in and got to work with the belief she could and so she did!
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The casket was unusual in that it was metallic and hermetically sealed. The child it contained was obviously from a wealthy family able to afford such an elaborate casket. It had two glass windows and the little girl of about three to four years of age could be seen through them. She was perfectly preserved. Her blond hair was laced with lavender and she held a rose in her hand.

Unfortunately, the coroner broke the seal of the casket and the child’s body began to decompose. The positive result was that Jelmer Eerkens, Professor of Anthropology at UC Davis and one of Elissa’s team of investigators, was enabled to retrieve samples of her hair for DNA testing. It was hopefully a door to attain her true identification. We hoped we could find who she was and learn her name.
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Elissa’s first challenge was to secure the casket that lay in the lady’s backyard. No authorities would take it as it wasn’t in their jurisdiction. But if its discovery were to hit the news, there was no telling what would happen to it. Elissa contacted our Garden of Innocence director in Fresno and he drove to San Francisco, secured the casket and brought it to Fresno until the reburial could be planned. Research and discussions were still ahead.

There was a lot of work to be done. The San Francisco Public Administrator, Michelle Lewis asked Elissa if she could name the baby Eve. Later, Elissa thought that the home owner, Ericka Karmer should name her as the baby had been a spirit in her home all this time. When Elissa approached her, Ericka asked her four and six year old daughters what the baby should be named. They named her Miranda. And so she became known as Miranda Eve.

Elissa engaged a number of volunteers to search the available records in an attempt to find the girl’s true identity. It was determined from the early research that she was interred in what was the Odd Fellows cemetery. It was also determined that most of the remains from that cemetery were moved to Greenlawn Memorial Park.
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Elissa and her team of volunteers made significant progress. They determined that rules existed that allowed for Miranda’s burial without a death certificate. They were able to get Greenlawn Memorial Park to donate a plot for Miranda’s internment. They found a grave stone company , The Headstone Guys of Fresno, to donate Miranda’s head stone of unique beauty.

Elissa had relatives who owned a cabinet shop. Together with them, a beautiful wooden casket designed to match the design of Miranda’s casket was fabricated during a seventeen hour marathon effort. The casket had to be a custom casket to hold Miranda and her special original metal casket.

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On Sunday May 29, Elissa and her team had made sufficient progress to announce that Baby Miranda Eve would be laid to rest at 10 AM on June 9th in Greenlawn Memorial Park, 1100 El Camino Real, in Colma, California. This was deemed most appropriate due to the understanding that most of the bodies from the old Odd Fellows Cemetery were taken here. It was believed that Miranda’s parents most likely were buried at Greenlawn.

Elissa and her supporters went to work to complete the final details normally a part of Garden of Innocence burials. These included flowers, rose petals, a poem, the Knights of Columbus and the minister to present a sermon.

On Friday June 3rd, at about ten o’clock in the morning my phone rang. My wife answered the phone and walked into my office and said, “Allan, its Elissa Davey.”
I had forgotten the date of Miranda’s funeral so I did not have any idea why Elissa was calling. I answered the phone and Elissa asked me, “Are you available this coming Saturday, June 9th ?”

I said, “Elissa, I am sorry but Carol and I will be in San Jose to celebrate our son’s second restaurant’s grand opening on Thursday. We didn’t plan on coming home until late Saturday. Why do you ask?”

Elissa almost cried and said, “Wow! Thank God, you will be there! I wanted to ask if you would officiate with the sermon at Miranda’s funeral service.”

I said, “Oh Elissa, I would be honored!”

Elissa breathed a sigh of relief, as the last part of the program had just come together. She had been running full speed for weeks getting all of the unique issues surrounding Miranda’s reburial resolved and finalized.

That Friday night I prayed for an inspiration for the sermon for Miranda. The next morning I sat at my computer and wrote the sermon outline from the inspiring thoughts that came to me during the night in response to my prayers.

The Bible text that formed the foundation of the sermon was Philippians 4:7-8 (New King James Version-NKJV)

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

I collected my thoughts and decided to investigate the meaning of the name Miranda. I was touched when I read that Miranda means “Worthy of Admiration, Wonderful”. I immediately made the connection to the word “praiseworthy” in the Bible text.

This Bible text guide offered inspiration to admire this child and her soul that lives on. This thought opened my heart to two more bible verses:

Song of Solomon 6:8-9 The Message Bible (MSG)
There’s no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be.
She’s a child (woman) beyond compare. My dove is perfection,
Pure and innocent as the day she was born, and cradled in joy by her mother. Everyone who came by to see her exclaimed and admired her— All the fathers and mothers, the neighbors and friends, blessed and praised her.

Proverbs 31:30-31 The Message Bible (MSG)
The girl (woman) to be admired and praised is the girl (woman) who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!

The sermon content was quickly flowing from my mind onto the page. I finished the sermon outline and reread it numerous times prior to leaving for San Jose.

The following Wednesday Carol and I flew to San Jose for our personal festivities. Along the way I received an email from Elissa stating that she remembered one last detail. Normally we place a small doll in the grave for a baby girl. She said how nice it would be if we could find a period doll from the 1980’s for Miranda. I recalled that there was an antique doll shop just next door to our son’s restaurant in Campbell.

When we arrived at Randy’s Campbell restaurant Wednesday afternoon, I went next door to the Twice Nice Doll Shop. I spoke to the proprietor, Bonnie, and related Miranda’s story. Then I told her about our Garden of Innocence and what we had planned for Saturday in Colima. I told her that we normally placed a doll in the grave of our baby girls. I made a proposal. I asked if she would be able to find it in her heart to donate a small doll of the late 1800 period for Miranda.

I said, “Don’t make your decision now. Here is my Garden of Innocence card, check out our website and I’ll get back to you for your decision. We appreciate anything you can do for Miranda.”

On Friday afternoon I phoned Bonnie at the doll shop. Before I could ask, Bonnie said, “I went to your website and found the wonderful work you do. I have found a doll. She isn’t of that period but she has a bright red period dress. I gladly donate it for Miranda.”

I was thrilled and later that day went to the doll shop to pick up Miranda’s doll. It was perfect. I expressed my sincere gratitude to Bonnie for her joyful generosity and prepared to bring it along with us the next morning.

On Saturday morning, Carol and I drove the forty miles from San Jose to Colima. We arrived at Greenlawn Memorial Park around nine in the morning. The Knights of Columbus were arriving and all the details were coming together. Slowly people began arriving to witness this unusual event.

I placed the doll at the edge of the green carpet that was covering the grave for Miranda. A swarm of professional photographers hovered around every photo opportunity. Some were independent while others were affiliated with various news media. It was sort of comical watching them getting into some awkward contortions to get just the right angle of view for picturing the little doll in her bright red dress.

The beautiful heart shaped gravestone was placed off to the side waiting to be placed over the grave after the ceremony was completed. Usually, only the face of the gravestone is polished, but in this case, both sides were polished in hopes that her real name would one day be found. That way her real name could eventually be engraved on the stone.

Prior to the sermon a poem written especially for Miranda was read with deep and sincere emotion by its author, Kevin Fischer-Paulson. The sentiment that flowed as Kevin read his poem embraced the assembled audience as the words created touching images and feelings.

MIRANDA

mirandas-poem-12

A California Sister comes to rest
At Land’s End, before the Pacific sea.
Dusk and orange forewings to the west.

A pause, a flutter as antennae test
The fog that circles the serpentine lea.
A California sister comes to rest

The ocean rushes, brushes her perch, crests
But cannot touch her who is free,
Dusk and orange forewings to the west.

The sun drops through the sky, this zest
of rock who stays, of wave who flees
A California Sister comes to rest

Eucalyptus wreaths, lavenders pressed
Against a child sleeping, a silent she,
Dusk and orange forewings to the west.

There is not one moment that is not blessed.
The wind we feel, we here but cannot see
A California Sister comes to rest.

Kevin Fisher-Paulson

During the sermon, I noted that some might question why we were doing all this for a baby we did not know and who had obviously been given a dignified Christian burial more than a hundred years ago. I proposed that it was the wrong question to ask.

I said, “Rather we ought to ask, ‘Why has Miranda Eve come into my life today?’”

I offered one possible answer to that question.

I said, “Perchance Miranda’s message for us today is: remember your ancestors who have long ago passed on, and honor them for what they passed on to you that has over generations made you who you are today.”

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Over a hundred people were in attendance. Many from the Odd Fellows, others who had heard of Miranda from the media, many media professionals from television stations and newspapers and Garden of Innocence volunteers from Fresno, San Francisco and San Diego.

Since then, many hours have been invested by interested people around the globe to find answers to the question, “Just who is this child?” This effort continues.

One of Elissa’s cousins is an artist, and based on the available photos recreated this image of baby Miranda.
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Recently, an eighty two year old descendant of Miranda was found. He was excited to provide a sample of his DNA for further testing. It is hoped that this will open the way for some definitive information regarding Miranda’s true identity.

Turning Point

This experience was for me another profound indication of God’s love for all souls. It was another inspiration to never forget my forebears who by their life gave me mine. Once again, the Services for the Departed in our church took on yet another dimension.

NOTE: Elissa Davey and her growing team of expert volunteers are working to determine Miranda’s identity. Donations to support this effort and Garden of Innocence and their noble work to care for the dignified burial of abandoned and unidentified babies are welcome. Go to www.gardenofinnocence.org for ways to donate and support our Gardens. News of the ongoing efforts to find Miranda’s true identity will be reported on Garden of Innocence website.  You can follow the story of Miranda Eve by Googling her name and engaging the many links to published stories and videos. After a year of intense research Miranda’s true identity was discovered. She was Edith Howard Cook, and the continuing story will be presented in a new post.

NOTE: January 27, 2024 The researchers that were engaged in the work to find Edith Howard Cook’s true identity were part of a fascinating PODCAST that is worth listening to if Edith has touched you as she has me.

Shadow Clock | Episode 6 – “Child”

 Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1X9iKPdFTfavVlSqNMJOn5?si=578SvyczScSYPq_v5prYwQ

 Apple: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shadow-clock/id1713030117?i=1000642619024

 www.shadow-clock.com

 

 

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COPYRIGHT © 2016 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER, All Rights Reserved

Butterflies and Zoey

On February 20th 2016, my birthday, we honored my dear friend Zoey by naming a baby in her honor at the Garden of Innocence. You can read the full story of that experience under July 2016 “Honoring Zoey” on this Blog.

Sunday, August 7th 2016, was Zoey’s 4th anniversary of her passing on. I realized this milestone while sitting in church that morning.  I thought that it would be a special moment when I would be at the Garden of Innocence that afternoon for a meeting.

I was invited by Elissa Davey, founder of the Garden of innocence, to join her at the Garden that Sunday afternoon for an interview with two sociology researchers. The two PhD sociologists where from UCLA and Rice University and they were engaged in research regarding what causes people like us with the Garden of Innocence to do what we do.

I decided to go to the Garden about a half hour early just to spend some quiet time reflecting on my friend Zoey and all she means to me. Once again I would also reflect on the experience we had when we honored Baby Zoey on my birthday.

I arrived at El Camino Memorial Park and parked my car. The day was spectacular with the sun brightly shining and a cool breeze gently flowing over the grounds. I slowly made my way up the hill toward the Garden.

As I walked I thought, “It would really be nice if there were some butterflies flitting around when I get to the Garden.”

Whenever we have a burial of a child at the Garden of Innocence, there always seems to be at least one butterfly gracing us with its presence. More often than not it is a yellow and black tiger swallow tail. So it wasn’t an extraordinary thought that there would be some butterflies there when I arrived.

I continued to walk and then I thought, “It would really be special if a butterfly would land on Baby Zoey’s grave stone.”

Zoey- head stone GOI-2

I have very seldom observed butterflies landing on the ground. So this thought was rather extraordinary due to the rarity of such an event.

I arrived at the Garden to witness not one but half a dozen butterflies of varied species flitting around in profusion.

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As I stood in awe, I got out my cell phone and started the camera in video mode. I was panning around when lo and behold I captured what I had hoped for on a video! Not only did I capture a butterfly landing on the ground, but it landed on Baby Zoey’s grave stone! Of all the grave stones in the Garden, well over a hundred, it landed on the very grave stone I had hoped for.

Zoey’s Butterfly

Leave it to Zoey to make my day yet again!

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I replayed the video a few more times and shared it with Zoey’s mother. We were both elated at this experience. Once again I had an exceptional Garden of Innocence experience.

COPYRIGHT © 2016 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER, All Rights Reserved

Honoring Zoey

Whenever I exercised retroactive self discovery, it revealed that people were brought into my life and were profound blessings. These people were significant players in the turning points in my life. When through purposeful deliberation I considered the treasures these souls were to my unfolding life, I began to find ways to express my sincere gratitude for them.

Since I acknowledge the part that I believe God had in engineering their presence in my life and the purpose behind it, I first expressed my sincere gratitude to Him. But I felt that my gratitude remained incomplete. I needed to do something more to acknowledge these souls in hopes that I could give them some sense of how they touched my life and so blessed me.

One such soul was a young girl named Zoey. From before her birth until her untimely passing as a teenager, she somehow found many ways to touch my life. The more I looked back the more I discovered that in her humble way she taught me things I needed to understand. So it was not surprising that I found a special way to honor her.

Zoey B-day 2015-aZoey

Working with the Garden of Innocence, and seeing the ways Zoey seemed to visit me there, (See: “The Feather from Heaven” March 2016 post) I decided to name a baby in her honor. I placed her name on the list of requests at the Garden. I also requested to conduct the sermon for the future Baby Zoey’s funeral service.

Months went by and finally in early February 2016, I received word that a new baby had arrived for burial in the Garden and her name would be Zoey. It turned out that the day for the funeral was my 73rd birthday. I was humbled that this very special day for me would be extra special.

I informed Zoey’s mother, Dawn, of the date for the Ceremony at the Garden for Baby Zoey. I invited her and her family to join us in the Garden of Innocence on the Saturday morning honoring her daughter and Baby Zoey.

In the weeks prior to the funeral service, I prayed often for divine guidance and inspiration for the thoughts to express in the sermon. It was a busy time with other activities each day, but I refused to allow them to distract me.

A little more than a week before the service, I sat at my computer and wrote the Bible text word and theme for the sermon that had come to me in the middle of the night before. The text was John 13: 34-35 in the New King James Version (NKJV):

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Another Biblical text kept rising up in my heart. This one from Ezekiel 22:30 in The Message (MSG) version:

30 “I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one.

I spent a few days making iterations until I found a sermon outline that satisfied my soul. I printed it and planned to read it daily until the day of the service.

One of the activities a few days prior to the service was a Chinese New Year celebration at my mother-in-law’s assisted living facility. It included dancers, music and a Chinese cuisine dinner. The dinner concluded with fortune cookies. I loved Chinese fortune cookies since my childhood so I greedily took two.

I don’t give much credence to the fortunes in fortune cookies, but when I opened the first one it read, “YOU WILL SOON WITNESS A MIRACLE.” I ate my cookie and proceeded to open the second. To my surprise it read the same, “YOU WILL SOON WITNESS A MIRACLE.”

Skeptical, I waited for the others at the table to read their fortunes and surprisingly not one had the same as mine. That was the last I thought of what I deemed simply a coincidence.

On the morning of the funeral, February 20, 2016, Carol and I made our way to the Garden of Innocence. Zoey’s family arrived along with our volunteers and many guests.

The proceedings began as usual with the casket bearing Baby Zoey to the Garden in the arms of the Knights of Columbus. Once in the Garden, she was passed around our circle of loving attendees including Zoey’s family and some of my friends.

DSCN4052Dawn holding Baby Zoey in her arms

I prayed the opening prayer followed by the musician and singer Ken Murrell who offered up his first song. I listened carefully to the words and I found that they perfectly fit into the theme of the sermon. The thought the lyrics contained that so struck me was we are stepping in to love this baby.

Another friend of Zoey’s, Brigit, who lives in Germany and has been a volunteer with the Garden of Innocence, wrote the poem for Baby Zoey. A young boy read the poem.

I listened carefully as he read the poem with deep emotion. It occurred to me that a particular phrase was exactly the theme of the sermon, just like the lyrics of the first song. The specific phrase in the poem was:

Right at the last moment
When you thought nobody loves you –
To be surprised by all of us
As we step in to love you.

For me, I had just witnessed the second “miracle” predicted in the fortunes of my fortune cookies.

After the poem, I presented the sermon. The theme, corroborated by the texts, the song and the poem made clear that in the plan of God, who is Love, a little baby is born to experience the love of their mother. This is the great blessing from God for every child. When, however, something unusual happens and a baby does not experience that love, God needs someone to “step in and step up” to love that child in place of the mother.

I reflected on the experience related in Ezekiel 22:30, where God searched for someone for a certain task, but sadly found no one. I proposed that all those who had assembled to honor Baby Zoey that morning had in a way answered that call. In essence, God found each one willing to step in and step up to love her. As each of those present momentarily cradled the casket bearing Baby Zoey in their arms, she surely felt the embracing love emanating from such loving hearts.
When the ceremony progressed to the dove ceremony, Dawn released the dove for Baby Zoey.

Dawn-Dove Zoey8Dawn releasing Baby Zoey’s Dove

We released the three doves for the Trinity and then volunteers read the names of all the babies in the Garden. At the end when all 159 names were read, two large baskets of doves were opened. Beautiful white doves filled the sky as they took flight homeward bound.

For me it was a special day and opportunity to honor my friend Zoey whose life and our friendship will always be my treasure.

Zoey- head stone GOI-2

But the miracles were not limited to the common threads of Bible texts, a song, a poem and a sermon. I soon discovered the miracles were not yet over.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, a gentleman in his 90’s approached me. I later learned he was Leo White, the father of Suzy Foster a Garden of Innocence volunteer.

Leo walked up to me and asked, “Do you know Jean Landis?”

I was shocked as I quickly processed the import of this query. You see, Jean Landis was the aunt of Daylene, Zoey’s grandmother. She and her family were standing just a few feet away!

I excitedly replied, “Not only do I know Jean Landis, but it is my pleasure to introduce you to her niece and her family.”

I proceeded to introduce the members of Zoey’s family to Leo. A wonderfully unexpected union of two families ensued. It soon became evident that Leo and Jean had attended flight school together during World War II. He became a pilot and she became a WASP flying airplanes in support of the war effort. Just the week prior, Leo and Jean met for breakfast after so many years.

DSCN4116Dave, Daylene, Devin, Leo and Dawn

After all the greetings were exchanged I asked Leo, “What possessed you to come to me and ask me if I knew Jean Landis?”

He said, “I noted on the back of the program that you were a minister in a church in El Cajon. Since Jean lives in El Cajon, I just took a chance that you might know her.”

Turning Points

Once again, I stand in awe of how God goes to meticulous lengths to affect His will for our blessings. The whole series of events that I have attempted to pen here seem to me to be quite extraordinary. His weaving of the message He intended to instill in each of us that day was so thorough. I consider these points: He woke me in the middle of the night to enliven two particular Bible verses; He moved the singer’s choice of song and lyric; He guided the poet’s creative verses and He inspired the sermon’s message that brought it all together. As wonderful as that was, He continued with His workings and brought two families together as a crown to the day’s event.

COPYRIGHT © 2016 ALLAN MUSTERER all Rights Reserved

When Man Fails, God Prevails

One of the great joys in my life was to volunteer with the Garden of Innocence. The part I played was to lead the dove ceremony, an integral part of the burial of abandoned babies at the Garden. During each funeral service, there is a moment when the baby or babies are honored with the release of a beautiful white dove along with three doves for the Trinity. Then the names of all the babies in the Garden are read followed by the release of 50 or more doves to honor them. It falls upon me to maintain the list of names of all the babies in the Garden.

On Friday, January 16, 2016, I had just prepared my documents for the next day’s burial of three babies at the Garden when I got a call from Rebecca, our president. She said that the second of the three babies, Hollis, was the 150th baby to come into the Garden. I was shocked.

She asked if I had made any special arrangements for this occasion. Since it hadn’t occurred to me when I prepared the documents, I had to answer, “No.”
I felt terrible as I realized I failed to make anything special to recognize this milestone for the Garden.

Graciously, Becca said, “That’s okay; just make special mention of it in your address during the dove ceremony.”

With a heavy heart and much guilt weighing on me, I walked up the hill to the Garden of Innocence at El Camino Memorial Park on Saturday morning. When I reached the Garden I stood in awe and amazement.

The Garden was strewn with a massive bed of flowers. In the circle of the graves, a large number of huge flower arrangements were laying amongst the 100 plus grave stones of our babies. Apparently, someone of great honor was interred the day before. They had so many flowers that someone was moved to place the excess flower arrangements on the graves of our babies.

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Array of Flowers at the Garden Of Innocence – San Diego

I was astounded. Here, in the midst of my failure, God stepped in and touched the heart of someone to step up and honor our Garden babies.
But it wasn’t too long thereafter that I discovered this was not the only miracle of the day where God moved hearts and minds to overcome my failure to recognize the 150th baby.

As planned, I did make note of the 150th baby during the dove ceremony and acknowledged God’s part in the amazing display of flowers in spite of my failure.

DSCN1469The Bed of Flowers Blanket the Garden

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Caskets of Babies Dorothy, Hollis and Murray

3-Babies and 150
Flight of the Doves

During the proceedings I noticed someone filming the ceremony with what appeared to be professional grade equipment, something not normally present for a Garden event. When the program was over, I realized that it was a local News Station photographer that was there documenting the proceedings for the evening news.

Curious as to how that came about, I asked the gentleman the question burning inside of me, “How is it that you are here today?”

He replied, “One of our new employee’s saw the announcement for the babies in the newspaper’s obituary column yesterday and, having never heard of the Garden of Innocence, sent me out to document the event.”

Another gift from God!

That night, the local NBC News television station presented a wonderful documentary reporting on the day’s event and the 150th baby entering the Garden of Innocence.

TURNING POINT

How gracious is our God, that when we in our weakness fail in something that has some significance for others, He kindly steps in and moves hearts and minds to make our failure of non-effect. When man fails, God prevails is not a simple adage, but a precious truth. Experiences such as these help us to boldly engage our calling without the fear of failure compromising our passion.

(See Garden of Innocence Website at www.gardenofinnocence.org for more information regarding our mission.)

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER ~ All Rights Reserved

The Feather from Heaven

I travelled an extraordinary two year journey with Dawn and Zoey and their family that began when Zoey was diagnosed with leukemia. I was on vacation in New Jersey when Dawn called me to tell me of her teenage daughter’s diagnosis. The journey was one of constant prayers, conversations and faith building experiences. Those two years brought life changing experiences to all of us who were so intimately involved in Zoey’s courageous and often miraculous engagement with the complexities of her unique condition. The feather from heaven event happened at an intersection of a series of unexpected moments and turning point experiences. They continued to this day.

On August 7, 2012 Zoey passed on having courageously battled leukemia and a series of devastating complications that accompanied the disease.

On a beautiful sunny Friday morning in August shortly after Zoey’s passing, I joined her family at a cemetery for the internment of their beloved teenage daughter. I was asked to perform the graveside funeral service. During the moments just prior to the service, Zoey’s mother confided in me and shared her experience of earlier that morning.

When Zoey was still a healthy teenager, mother and daughter would walk in the mornings into their garden. Dawn led the way swiping away the spider webs that had been spun overnight along the path. Zoey was an animal lover, but spiders were the lone members of her list of bugs that she detested. Zoey loved feathers. They were simply special to her so she collected them. On this special morning when Zoey was to be laid to rest, Dawn decided to take the morning walk alone through the garden. As she swiped the webs out of her path, deep feeling for her Zoey filled her heart. Then, when she reached the end of the garden, a beautiful feather drifted down from out of nowhere.  Dawn stopped and reached out for the feather. She felt as though it was a feather from heaven, Zoey saying to her, “Mother, I am all right! I love you!”

The graveside funeral service touched on the feather message from heaven and all of gathered there found a measure of comfort and peace.

At the time I was a volunteer for the Garden of Innocence, an organization dedicated to the dignified burial of abandoned babies. (Ref: www.gardenofinnocence.org and “The Garden of Innocence – God’s Plan for Me” Post of September 2015)

At one point during the Garden of Innocence services, the babies were honored as a new arrival to the Garden. This was done with the release of a white dove for the new baby and then three doves released one each for the three persons of the Trinity. After these doves were released, volunteers read the names of all the other babies previously honored in the Garden. Finally two large baskets full of white doves were opened and the air was filled with the din of flapping wings as the large group of beautiful white birds took to the air in flight.

On Saturday morning August 10th, with the experience of the previous day with Zoey on our minds, Carol and I went to the Garden of Innocence funeral service for Baby George. My part in the program of events was to lead the dove release ceremony.

The service began as usual with the Circle of Love. The Knights of Columbus in their full regalia marched up to the Garden carrying Baby George’s casket.

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The casket was passed from one person to the next in a Circle of Love created by those attending the ceremony. Finally the casket was placed on a table and adorned with some flowers. Songs were offered up, a poem was read and a sermon rendered by a visiting minister. The casket was placed in the grave and rose petals were strewn into the grave by the assembled volunteers and visitors. The dove ceremony followed.

The dove ceremony was about to commence when Carol prayed and asked God if He would grant our dear Zoey to reach out to Baby George, take his hand and welcome him. She reluctantly asked too, if He agreed, to send some kind of message.

I took the microphone, introduced the dove program and said, “We now release a dove for Baby George.”

White doves are released during Saturday's Garden of Innocence internment service for two unidentified babies at El Toro Memorial Park in Lake Forest. ///ADDITIONAL INFO: gardenofinnocence.0124- 01/23/16  - PHOTO BY JEFF ANTENORE, CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER Ð
As the volunteer holding Baby George’s dove opened her hands, the dove took flight, flying around in an ever widening circle before rising up through the trees. Carol along with all those assembled watched the dove’s ascent. Suddenly, a large white feather fell from the dove and drifted earthward between the tree branches. Slowly the feather spiraled downward in a haphazard random path. The master of ceremonies was standing in the midst of the Garden and lifted her hand as if to catch it. Surprisingly, it found its way right into her outstretched hand.

Carol was astounded, as she saw this as Zoey’s message to say she was taking care of Baby George. She couldn’t contain her excitement. Before I could continue the ceremony she ran to tell me what had just transpired. She urged me to tell everyone the story. I agreed that this amazing story had to be told and right then and there.

I addressed the Garden Family and explained in detail how the big white feather that fell from Baby George’s dove had special significance. As I concluded, the master of ceremonies walked over to me and gave me the feather. She asked that I give it to Zoey’s mother in memory of Zoey’s volunteer work for the Garden’s babies.

zOEY_nZoey

I continued the dove ceremony releasing doves for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The volunteers read the names of the 125 children already in the Garden. When the last name was read the rest of the doves were released.

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The Doves Released for All the Babies in the Garden of Innocence

When the ceremony concluded, people came to me, many with tears, thanking me for sharing the awesome experience we had in the Garden that day. Then Joe, the man who provided the doves, came to me and said that it was the first time he saw a dove lose such a large feather at the Garden. Many of the volunteers who had witnessed previous funerals at the Garden reiterated Joe’s comment that such a feather display had never been seen before.

Zoey and George-110
When I arrived home I immediately called Zoey’s mother and related the extraordinary events that transpired that morning in the Garden of Innocence with her daughter. I explained that I had the feather for her as a keepsake of the wonderful message from heaven from Zoey.

Throughout the rest of that day, I marveled at what lengths God had gone to give us such a profound experience. I was thrilled to have added to Dawn a measure of comfort in the wake of the loss of her daughter.

TURNING POINT:

Sometimes God decides that a miracle is in order to teach us some important message with profound consequences for our future. At the moment we experience the miracle, or an unusually strange series of events that challenge our understanding, we wonder what its purpose is and what we are to take from it. Over time, experience reveals its purpose and understanding is made complete.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER

El Camino Memorial Park – The Babies

On a Saturday morning prior to our Service for the Departed in 1982, Carol, Randy and I went to El Camino Memorial Park in San Diego. We went to visit the grave of one of our church members who had been laid to rest a few days before.  We wanted to be sure that the fresh grave site was clean and dignified.

El Camino 1000

As we walked through the rows of grave sites in search of our church member’s grave, we glanced upon the many grave markers with names and dates. I was particularly taken and drawn to a grave stone of a young girl of seventeen. She had been murdered. I paused and prayed for her and her grieved parents. The deep hurt of her family leaped out of the inscription on the grave stone in the words “MURDERED” and “BARELY SEVENTEEN” and it gripped my soul.

Becky
We continued on until we found the grave of our friend. We found it was neatly groomed and still had some fresh flowers on it. After some moments of prayer and contemplation we left to return home.

As we drove through the park toward the exit, Randy saw a pond with ducks swimming around. He begged me to stop and allow him to go to see the ducks. I parked the car at the edge of the road and Randy and I got out.

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We walked down the sloping grounds toward the pond. After a while observing the ducks swimming around the pond I told Randy it was time to leave and we began to trudge up the hill toward the car.

As we walked I looked down and noted that the grave stones had but one solitary date. I thought how unusual that was and realized that these were all very young children, infants most of them. I stopped in my tracks as the impact of this realization touched my soul. I stood transfixed as I took in the environment around me.

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There in the midst of these graves were two pine trees with low hanging boughs. Dangling in the branches were toy cars and trucks, dolls and trinkets. I paused to consider this picture and realized that these toys were attempts of sorely grieving parents seeking to reach out to their child with a gift, a sign of their love for them not stilled by their death. I had this profound feeling in that instant; that what an amazing gift God gave us in prayer.  We can pray for our departed loved ones, and thereby show our love for them in the spiritual and need not rely on the material.
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Years later, I revisited this Garden of Innocents and found that the trees had been removed or trimmed and the toys and trinkets removed. Surveying the scene, now different from my first visit, in my heart I hoped that the parents of the babies memorialized there have since discovered that their prayers convey their undying love as no toy or trinket could ever do.

Turning Points

The first brief moment in the garden for innocent babies served to significantly deepen my appreciation for the awesome power of prayer. Faced with helpless and hopeless feelings that surface when we are unable to help someone, the power of prayer and the knowledge that prayer changes things, situations and me, becomes a turning point, revealing this God given resource known as prayer. It can be an inspiration to practice and master prayer, pouring out our deepest emotions to the One who hears and answers and changes things for our benefit.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER

 

 

 

The Garden of Innocence – God’s Plan for Me

I was a few weeks away from retiring from my evangelist ministry in the New Apostolic Church. In our faith, we have scheduled three special services each year that were dedicated to the departed. These services for the departed had very deep meaning for me and I made sincere deliberate preparations for them. My experience as a four year old boy had significant influence on my personal involvement in these services and this early turning point I documented in my story entitled “Aunt Frieda – My Grandma” (June 2015).

Divine services for the departed were scheduled each year for the first Sunday in March, July and November. It was the Saturday morning of March 1, 2008 that I woke up very early and in my morning prayer dedicated my day to preparation for this special divine service for the departed. Not only would the service be my last to officiate a departed service but it was also included the baptism of a very special baby girl named Samantha Angele. (See the story “Samantha Angele – Miracle Baby” to be published soon)

I began my morning by making a pot of coffee and a light breakfast. I retrieved the morning paper from our front porch and sat down at our kitchen counter. As I waited for the coffee to brew, I opened the paper and briefly scanned the front page of each section. Then my eyes fell upon the local Family Section that had emblazed on it a picture of a statue of a kneeling woman on a gravestone with children’s names engraved upon it. The article was entitled “A dignified farewell”.
GOI 100th Baby
I was immediately captivated by this article and read it completely from beginning to end. It told of this Garden of Innocence, a final resting place for abandoned children. I had never heard of it before. The article further stated that this Saturday they would be burying their 100th baby named Annemarie. Engulfed in the deep feelings the article evoked in me, I decided I had to attend this funeral service. I showed the article to my wife and we both agreed we had to make this funeral our priority for the day. We both felt it was a divine calling with feelings in both of us being so strong.

We dressed, prepared ourselves and drove the few miles to El Camino Memorial Park. When we arrived we were directed to a hilltop. W made our way through the cemetery’s green lawn strewn with gravestones leading to the hilltop. We reached the Garden and found over 100 visitors preparing for the 10 am service. We of course had no idea what to expect. The guests sat on white folding chairs under a large green temporary canopy next to a circular sidewalk. The statue of the kneeling woman whose image was in the newspaper was off to one side of the sidewalk. Seeing it in person was very touching, as her face depicted a mother’s heartache at the loss of her child. The names on the stone and the dates, we later learned, memorialized babies whose remains had been cremated prior to entry into the Garden.    GOI Mother

In the middle of the circular sidewalk were grave stones with the unique Garden of Innocence angel and heart logo and the names of babies interned previously. At the head was Adam’s headstone, the first baby to enter the Garden on June 19, 1999.

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As the service began, a contingent of forty or more Knights of Columbus, dressed in their full regalia, marched up the hill toward the Garden escorting Annemarie in her little hand made wooden casket. The elegance of the Knights with their colorful formal dress replete with capes, swords and plumed hats added to the heart touching atmosphere. Elissa Davey the founder of the Garden sang a moving song “In this Special Place”. This song created a wonderful spirit of peace that came over the whole garden. As the Knights approached the Garden entrance, all in attendance were invited to form a circle of love on the circular sidewalk to welcome baby Annemarie into the Garden.

What happened next was quite unexpected but very moving. After we silently and reverently formed our circle on the sidewalk; the casket was passed from one to another. As I held the casket in my arms, deep feelings stirred in my soul. I quietly expressed my love to baby Annemarie and invited her to be my special guest at the service for the departed the next day. As I did this the song “O Come with Me” filled my thoughts. The first words of the song “O Come with me and I will lead you gently into a garden of enchanting charm” seemed so perfect. It depicted the special feelings that consumed me in that moment. Immediately I decided that this song would serve as the opening hymn for Sunday’s service. I passed the casket into the arms of my wife Carol. She also invited Annemarie to our service and passed her on to the next guest beside her in the circle. When the casket reached the end, the last person placed that casket on a table draped in a white tablecloth. Flowers and a small stuffed animal were placed to adorn the casket.

Next was a reading of a poem for Baby Annemarie and then the visiting minister offered up a prayer and sermon. Each was very touching and caused movement in our hearts and souls. People were invited to share what the Garden meant to them and then came the very impressive dove ceremony.

A white dove was given to a volunteer and the dove was released to represent the spirit of Annemarie being set free. The dove flew around a few times but instead of leaving to fly home as it normally would, it landed on the overhead canopy.
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Carol and I were standing next to the canopy and Joe, the owner of the doves, was also standing there next to us. He remarked that this was strange in that it had never happened at the Garden before. Carol asked me if I thought there was some significance to this bird landing and staying on the canopy.

I said, “I think it is Annemarie telling us she accepts our invitation for service tomorrow.”

Then three more doves released were for the Trinity followed by a group of volunteers who read off one by one the 99 names of the other babies in the Garden. When the last name was read, two large white wicker baskets that were placed in the center of the circle were opened. There must have been 100 beautiful white doves that flew up in a din of fluttering wings, up through the trees circling the Garden in the sky above until they turned and left for their home. It was simply breathtaking.
3-Babies and 150

Carol and I left the Garden that day with emotions and feelings that were overwhelming. But the story didn’t end there. We made our way home and had lunch. We took a break to relax a bit in our back yard recounting our experience in the Garden when the telephone rang.

It was a member from our church who had volunteered to provide the flowers for the special Sunday morning service. She asked if she could stop by to share a special experience she had that morning. I encouraged her to stop by on her way home from church.

Birgit and her family were from Germany and living in San Diego. Her husband was stationed with the military in San Diego for three years. She was very talented with flowers as well as with music. When she arrived she asked how our visit to the funeral service had gone. I briefly shared our experience but for some reason did not mention the song that had captured my soul as I held Annemarie in my arms.

Then Birgit told us what she had experienced that morning. When she finished preparation of the flowers for the service, she began to leave to bring them to church. But as she walked past the organ in her living room, she felt a strong impulse to go to it and play. She sat down at the organ and noted that her hymnal was already open to No. 296 “O Come with Me” and she began to play it.

I asked Birgit at what time it was when this happened. She said it was shortly after 10 am and asked me why. I told her that at about that very time, I held the baby Annemarie in her casket in my arms, and that song entered my heart. That’s when I decided it would be the opening hymn on Sunday.

We were all profoundly moved and attributed the whole series of events to the wonderful hand of our faithful loving God and Father. We marveled at the many fine details that comprised the events of the day.

The next morning was one of the most moving experiences in the sanctuary of God that I ever lived. A detailed pronouncement of that day will be forthcoming.

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Turning Points

This experience was a major turning point for me. I was wondering as I approached my retirement; what does God have for me as a new ministry? Well this was an answer I could not ignore; rather it was one that I heartily embrace to this day. It is not possible for me to put into words that are worthy of the feeling and experiences I have been blessed with as I actively participate in this precious ministry. Every volunteer, every participant is masters at blessing each other by their joyfully generous contributions to our Garden Babies and the family the Garden has become. I am so blessed to be a part of it.

Each visit to the Garden brings new connections, new friends and new turning points that create the greatest joy and grateful expressions to our God for all He has made possible through this ministry. Watch for the chronicles to follow to describe these precious moments.
[The song “O Come with Me” Lyrics by

[ To learn more about the Garden of Innocence and how to donate to its cause, please visit them at www.gardenofinnocence.org ]

GOI Card Face 3 nophone

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN E. MUSTERER