Grieving – The Turning Points of Life

Transformative Scripture Part 2

The study of scripture has always been filled with new revelations that can transform our perspectives and understanding and even our character. I am presenting several of these scriptural texts that have been transformative for me. I have highlighted the words or phrases that caught my attention and inspired deliberation and growth.

I recently saw this on Facebook.

That’s what I find in my study of the Bible, new things to prompt more study. It’s quite thrilling to discover new things that pop out of scripture I read countless times before.

As a young minister in the 1970’s, I was blessed with two missions that thrilled me and were some of the most rewarding times I experienced. I was a Youth Leader and a Confirmation teacher. I would strive to teach these young people the value of the little turning points that would occur during their lifetime. I counselled them to take advantage of the blank pages at the back of their Confirmation Bible and record special moments in their life. And I particularly encouraged them to mark the scriptures at their Confirmation, Engagement, Wedding, and the birth of their children.

When I was about to retire, I went back to my Bible where I inserted my notes with special dates, occasions and the scripture that accompanied them.

At my Confirmation March 16, 1958, the scripture was Psalm 91:1-7.

Psalm 91:1-7 New King James Version

Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
²I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

³Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
⁴He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
⁵You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
⁶Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

⁷A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.

When I read this again celebrating my 50th anniversary of my Confirmation Day, I just trembled. It was exactly 50 years to the date, March 16, 2008, and the words struck me deeply. I don’t recall how many times I read those words during those 50 years, but I suddenly realized how those words had shaped my life. Each phrase had it’s own unique revelation as they were experienced in fifty years of experiences. It occurred to me that even though I didn’t read them often, the essence of these words entered my soul and fulfilled the intention of the One who put them there.

With the experience with my Confirmation text fresh in my mind, I searched my Bible pages for my Wedding text, Psalm 1:1-3.

Psalms 1–41 New King James Version

The Way of the Righteous and the End of the Ungodly

1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
²But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
³He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.

When I read this, I saw how this was also one whose essence permeated our marriage and the spiritual serving we did in our marriage together. Our love for the Lord and our joy in serving brought countless blessings to us and our family.

It is evident to me that it is not necessary to memorize the scripture, but rather to allow its essence to permeate our soul. Then the Holy Spirit can do His work with it as we faithfully pursue our life.

At my retirement April 27, 2008 the text was Psalm 103: 2-4

Psalm 103:2-4 New King James Version

²Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
³Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
⁴Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,

This passage from scripture captured the very profound feelings within my soul at this turning point in my life. And as with so many other transformational verses, a poet penned the words to a song that perfectly aligned with the essence of the scripture. It was no different at my retirement with the following opening hymn “O That I Had A Thousand Voices”.

O, That I had a Thousand Voices

O, that I had a thousand voices,

a mouth to speak with thousand tongues!

Then, while my heart in Him rejoices,

would I pro-claim in grateful songs

To all, wherever I might be,

what things the Lord has done for me.

Dear Father, end-less praise I render

for soul and bod-y strangely joined.

I praise Thee, Guard-an kind and tender,

For all the noble joys I find

So richly giv’n on every side

and freely for my use supplied.

What equal praises can I offer,

dear Jesus, for Thy mercy shown?

What pangs, dear Saviour, didst Thou suffer

and thus for all my sins atone!

Thy death a-lone my soul could free

from Satan, to be blest by Thee!

Let all my praise, up to Thee reaching,

be Thine too, Spirit of all grace,

Whose holy pow’r and faithful teaching

give me among Thy saints a place.

What-e’er of good in me may shine

comes only from Thy light divine.

Accept, O Lord, I know implore Thee,

the meager praise I give below;

In heav’n I better will adore Thee

when I an angel’s strength shall know.

There would I join their sacred praise

and heav’nly hallelujahs raise!

My profound gratitude for God’s allowing me to serve His people found voice in the words of this hymn. So sweet the way our God joins the words of scripture and hymns together to work His plan for us.

Turning Point

I find that scripture contains words that reveal the eternal truths. And like a diamond, each time we read them they reveal a facet not seen in previous encounters. It’s like a flower unfolding revealing beauty previously hidden within its bud. Each revelation inspires the next exploration. And at times we can even see how that word has had its effect upon our hearts, souls and minds fulfilling its intended divine purpose. And how sweet when the lyrics to a hymn amplify the essence of the Word.

JOY

I have often discussed the joy that is fruit of the Holy Spirit. Though for some authentic joy may be elusive, I have found such joy comes easily to the grateful heart. Gratitude blossoms into true authentic and unshakeable JOY. My dear friend Joyce Williams Theilacker is a prolific writer with deep spiritual roots, and I find her posts on social media profoundly inspiring and thought provoking. Her two posts about joy I find worthy to share with my readers.

“Authentic Joy” . . . Joyce Williams Theilacker

Many grapple with the misconception that they must put on a facade of constant happiness to live out the Christian life, but the joy experienced by believers is not something we manufacture or pretend. It is a genuine, God-given gift that flows from the depths of our hearts. The Christian journey is undoubtedly marked by joy, as evidenced by the fruits of the Spirit. This joy does not eliminate the full spectrum of human emotions. In fact, the Bible itself reflects the entire range of human experiences, from sorrow and grief to rejoicing and celebration.

Genuine joy can coexist with various emotions. It doesn’t mean that we must suppress or hide our doubts, questions, or times of weariness. Rather, it means that even in moments of confusion, grief, or weariness, we can still possess the underlying joy that comes from our faith in Christ.

Consider the Psalms, where David, a man after God’s own heart, poured out his soul honestly before the Lord. He expressed times of discouragement, weariness, and lament, yet his trust in God remained steadfast. Joy is not the absence of other emotions but the presence of a deep, unwavering trust in the Lord.

Authentic joy is not a performance; it’s a reality apprehended by faith. It’s a choice we make to trust God despite our circumstances. It’s a decision to embrace His joy even when we don’t fully comprehend the complexities of life. It’s not about pretending to be happy but about seizing the joy available to us through faith in Christ.

In the church, it’s crucial to recognize that while emotions are a healthy and necessary part of our worship and expression of faith, they should never be forced. Each believer’s personality and temperament may lead them to express joy differently. Some may be exuberant and loud in their praise, while others may be more subdued and reflective. Neither expression is more valid than the other; both can be genuine reflections of the joy found in Christ.

Authentic joy is not a one-size-fits-all experience; it’s a deep, personal connection with God that finds its expression uniquely in each believer. It does not conform to external expectations but flows naturally from a heart captivated by the goodness and grace of our Lord.

As we embrace this truth, let us remember that joy is not something we need to put on for others or even for ourselves. It’s a gift from God that we simply receive and live out in our own distinctive way, reflecting the diverse beauty of the body of Christ.”

“Unshakable Joy” . . . Joyce Williams Theilacker

There is a joy that is unique to believers. This joy is not a mere fleeting happiness accessible to all, but a divine gift reserved for those transformed by faith in Christ. It’s a deep, abiding joy that we did not know before our hearts were awakened to Jesus.

Know that this divine joy prompts a crucial caution: the presence of joy does not inherently sanctify our inclinations or desires. The fact that something brings us happiness does not automatically align it with God’s will or make it beneficial for our spiritual well-being. In a world where happiness is often pursued at all costs, this distinction is essential. Many, driven by a skewed perception of joy, justify actions that stray far from biblical truths and make choices that lead them down paths of destruction.

The reasoning that “God desires my happiness; therefore I should pursue what makes me happy” is a dangerous oversimplification. It can excuse sin and lead us away from true fulfillment in Christ. The joy that Paul refers to is not akin to the ephemeral pleasures of this world but is a deep, enduring joy that arises from our union with Christ—a joy that can only be known through the transformative power of salvation.

Moses’ choice, as recounted in Hebrews, starkly illustrates this truth. He forsakes the temporary comforts and pleasures of Pharaoh’s palace for the afflictions associated with God’s people, valuing eternal joy over fleeting happiness. This decision underscores the profound difference between worldly pleasures and the joy of salvation. Only salvation offers lasting fulfillment and peace.

Believers are thus challenged to discern the nature of their joy: is it rooted in transient worldly pleasures or in the steadfast promise of God’s eternal joy? We must examine our hearts, finding our deepest happiness not in the fleeting delights of sin but in the enduring grace of walking in obedience to God.

As we navigate through life’s trials and temptations, this divine joy serves as our anchor, reminding us of the unshakable hope we have in Christ. It fortifies our resolve to live in accordance with God’s will, even when faced with choices that promise temporary happiness at the cost of spiritual integrity.

In embracing this joy of salvation, we find a treasure that far surpasses the world’s temporary pleasures. It fills our hearts even in the midst of trials, sustains our zeal for God’s service, and deepens our love for Christ and His people. This joy defines our identity as followers of Jesus, setting us apart in a world that seeks happiness in the perishable.”

Turning Point

Mastering the fruit of the Spirit is essential for the spiritual health and vitality of the soul. When we can feel the joy of the Spirit “it is well with my soul”. Discussions such as these help to keep awareness of the treasure that this fruit of joy brings to our life and keeps us in a state of profound gratitude.

Functional Trust

I have written a lot about trust and where one places one’s trust. As I explore the essence of trust and its importance, new perspectives emerge. In my book Solomon’s Recipe, I delve into the placement of trust in the Lord in what is really an untrustworthy world. But I am learning that simply understanding and accepting the value of placing an authentic trust in the Lord is not enough. It is critical for us to have a “functional trust” in the Lord.

I will in this article explore functional trust, what it is, why it’s important and how to attain it and maintain it for our own good.

But first I think it worthwhile to note some foundational facts that will open the way for my exploration. I pose the question: what comes first, trust or faith? Scriptura tells us that faith is a gift from God.

Romans 12:3 New King James Version

Serve God with Spiritual Gifts

³For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

1 Corinthians 12:8-9 New King James Version

⁸for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, ⁹to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit,

Ephesians 2:8 New King James Version

⁸For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,

It appears to me that since faith is a gift of God, then faith is untouchable by the evil one. Faith has the power of God. It is a gift for the recipient to use, protect, deepen within, and rejoice in. Sadly, it can be given up and lost. But how and why would one do that? This is where trust enters the discussion. Trust is something we develop and build as we edify the gift of faith. As faith gives us experiences to see the reality of God’s love for us, trust in Him evolves and deepens over time. So, if faith is protected from the evil one, just how does he, Satan, get to us to give up the gift of faith? How does he threaten our faith and cause us to lose it? The answer is trust. The evil one attacks our trust in the Lord. Now with this as our context let’s explore trust.

What is “functional trust”? When we think of function, we consider how effectively something works to achieve its intended purpose. A car for instance has the purpose of conveying its owner or user from one place to another. When all its parts and components are working in harmony, the vehicle is “functional” in moving the driver from one place to another efficiently, safely and in reasonable comfort. The car has thousands of critical components that must work together to accomplish its functionality.

Looking at trust, there are components to trust that require it to be “functional”. So, let’s start with the question: What is the function of trust? And what is the function of trust in the Lord?

Trust is meant to provide confidence and a living hope that the Lord will provide perfectly and precisely exactly what we need when I place those needs into His hands. When I place my trust in the Lord, I should be perfectly content and at peace, void of worry and stressful fretting over what shall happen next.

I am reminded of this scripture passage:

Matthew 6:31-33 New King James Version

³¹“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

This passage calls for functional trust. Trust that works inspires one to follow this word from Jesus placing our priorities on spiritual things.

Psalm 119:37+ 40 New King James Version

³⁷Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things,
And revive me in ^[^b^]Your way.
⁴⁰Behold, I long for Your precepts;
Revive me in Your righteousness.

One step in making our trust in the Lord functioning is to cease dwelling on worthless things. I think that the determination of what things are worthless is a personal matter. What is worthless to you may be worthy of value to me in doing the Lord’s bidding. The work of making our trust functional is a very personal matter. As we continue to explore, we need to keep this in mind lest we allow the evil one to insert judgement and thus threaten our trust. We need to soberly evaluate where we focus in life to ensure we avoid getting hooked on worthless things.

But let’s be realistic. Having a robust level of trust is often compromised by our experience with trust in our everyday life. Trust with our fellow man is rife with failure because we live in an untrustworthy world. We don’t have to look at the obvious untrustworthy areas such as politics. We just need to see how trustworthiness has evaporated from our society. The news is overwhelming with rampant theft in our stores and shops. Computers are hacked and money and assets are stolen. Homes are burgled and cars hijacked. It’s a brutal world out there.

When we consider that having our trust functioning on “all cylinders” is a great protection to our faith, we will be compelled to nurture our trust. Being aware of our surroundings can make us alert to the evil one’s attempts to compromise our trust.

I am reminded of one of the great lessons my dad taught me. I published it on my blog (https://www.lifeturningpoints.org/?s=judas) The Judas goat led the lambs in the fields to the best pastures. Then led them to slaughter at the slaughterhouse. That lesson taught me that it was easy to get sucked in to what everyone was doing around me. I learned to become diligent in my decision making, recognizing that not everyone can be trusted.

How can I move from stressful fretting and worry when my trust is less than functional to a truly actively functional trust?

Soberly and honestly reliving one’s experience with placing trust in God is the beginning of developing a functioning trust. It is interesting to see the interactions of faith and trust as they support each other. Let’s look at Jesus and how He expressed His functioning trust.

Jesus exhibits functional trust:

Luke 22:31-32 New King James Version

Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial

³¹^[^a^]And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. ³²But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

Here Jesus knowing the test that Simon Peter was on the brink of failing, Jesus prays for the one and only thing that will get Peter through the test unscathed, FAITH! From this I see that our most critical possession is the FAITH that our loving God has so graciously implanted into our soul. We must protect it and nurture it relentlessly and at all cost.

However, let me draw your attention to the carefully worded message of Jesus to Peter (and us!) where He says “when” referring to His expected success of Peter. He didn’t use “if” which would imply Peter might fail. Such is the absolute confidence Jesus has in the success of His prayers for Peter and you and me! That’s functional trust as its finest.

As we continue our journey deepening the roots of our trust and faith, let’s do so with our “eyes wide open” to the threats of the evil one. Let’s be aware of the gifts of the Spirit and the firm belief that “prayer works”. Let’s stoke our desire and willingness to do the will of God and rejoice in how His love for us abundantly blesses our life.

Turning Point

As I explore the scripture and see these truths revealed experience by experience, I stand in awe of our almighty triune God. His love for me, Jesus’ grace and daily prayers for me, and the inspiring presence and guidance afforded by the Holy Spirit are a constant source of confidence deepening trust and faith. Desire for His gifts burn within and it is well with my soul.

PREPARATION FOR CHRIST’S RETURN

In sorrow and grief, heartache and pain, disappointment, and injustice the Bride of Christ is made ready.

The big unavoidable experiences in life somehow prepare us to meet our Savior in a prepared, no strings attached condition. Just how does that work? This is a question I am wanting to explore.

Sorrow is profound distress of the spirit in the face of great loss. This is especially present when the loss is deeply connected with someone we authentically love. The deeper the love the more acute is the sorrow. Such sorrow has the effect of bringing one into a depth of one’s reality, devoid of the trappings of normal life. Sorrow reaches the very depth of the soul. When one visits that depth of personal intimacy, transformations can come about that are simply not accessible during normal life experiences.

Grief is deep sorrow begetting a sense of misery, usually following the loss of a loved one. Grief can also result from tragic losses of critical or essential possessions. Grief typically bridges Sorrow and Heartache affecting spirit and emotions.

Heartache is emotional distress and anguish. Where sorrow affects the spirit, heartache affects the heart with deep emotional suffering. This is most often experienced when there is a loss or absence of someone deeply loved and revered.

Pain is physical in nature causing extreme suffering and discomfort due to illness or injury. However, deep sorrow, grief and heartache can often induce physical pain, and that especially evident when one is in a physical sensitivity and jeopardy.

Disappointment is a sense of sadness and discouragement when hopes and expectations go unfulfilled. Disappointment can be very debilitating when it causes the loss of hope for the future. The effect of disappointment can’t be underestimated with regards to its potential negativity that devastates a person.

Injustice is one of the most devastating experiences for a person’s peace. Injustice is gross unfairness that typically assails the innocence of the victim. Injustice causes a myriad of negative emotions to surface, often compromising the nature and character of those who suffer it. Injustice reaches its pinnacle when it is visited upon us from a trusted source we dearly loved or venerated, having held them in high esteem.

Now one of the clear tenants of Jesus teaching is the necessity of such suffering as tis just described. Regardless of how distasteful suffering is, it has the potential to transform us into a ready and prepared Bride for Christ. It is the aim of what Jesus taught regarding suffering that we with the strength of faith and trust in the Lord bear it to the glory of God and to our own salvation. Here are the biblical references of this teaching of our Savior and Bridegroom. I invite you to read and deliberate upon these and see how they can bolster your tolerance for the unique personal suffering you can and must endure. May these provide you with an appreciation for your suffering and the strength and resilience to journey through in peace.

Acts 14:22

New Living Translation

²²where they strengthened the believers. They encouraged them to continue in the faith, reminding them that we must suffer many hardships to enter the Kingdom of God.

Romans 5:3-4

New King James Version

³And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

2 Corinthians 1:7

New King James Version

⁷And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

The Message

^7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

James 5:11

The Message

^10-11Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You’ve heard, of course, of Job’s staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That’s because God cares, cares right down to the last detail.

1 Peter 2:20

New Living Translation

²⁰Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you.

1 Peter 3:14

New Living Translation

14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.

Matthew 5:10

New King James Version

¹⁰Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 10:22

New Living Translation

²²And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved.

John 16:32-33

New King James Version

³²Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. ³³These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you ^]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Philippians 4:6-8

New King James Version

⁶Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Meditate on These Things

⁸Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

TURNING POINTS

The understanding and hence the appreciation of the eternal results of our unique and personal suffering will comfort us and inspire us with that “Peace of God” that surpasses all understanding.

Mother’s Prayers

My mother was a diligent teacher. She had a deep faith forged through her health issues she battled during her youth. For me, her most profound teaching for me was her prayers. She began praying with me when I was only three months old. Later at about a year old, before I went to bed each night and after my dad read me a story, I went to my crib and knelt down to pray. My mother coached me to pray every night prior to going to sleep and when I took a nap during the day. Fortunately, my mother took pictures to remind me of how my praying began.

The first prayer I learned was the traditional child’s prayer that went like this:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

And if I die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I probably didn’t fully understand this prayer when I first learned it, but I learned the concept of praying. It was ground work for a developing prayer life that continued to evolve as years went by.

Each experience in my life that was life changing and a turning point was indelibly integrated with praying. Prayer was an integral component before, during or after those turning points, even if I didn’t realize that they were at the time.

Prayer became a means for me to express my sincere gratitude and thanksgiving for the many blessings I experienced during my growth as a Christian. But prayer was much more than that, even as important as thanksgiving was for me.

As prayer experiences grew over time, more aspects of prayer’s benefits were realized.

I learned that prayer gave me an opportunity to discover new ways to express my deepest feelings toward God. I found new words and combinations of words to articulate thanksgiving, appreciation, hope, desires, and longings to my Father.

I discovered that how I prayed had a profound effect on my attitude and demeanor throughout the day. When I begin the day praying, “Dear God, I thank you for the light of another day” I find myself being grateful for life and am motivated to make the most of it.

Prayers I have found changed things and most importantly changed me.

When I prayed, “Lord, please give me a heart with skill to listen as I want to be able to hear even the soft whisper of your Holy Spirit when He seeks to guide my path into your perfect will for me today” I had a heightened awareness of the urging of the Spirit. I felt His guiding words and thoughts moving me into extraordinary life experiences throughout the day.

My prayer often included thoughts like, “Lord, I want so much to be able to express the feelings of thanksgiving that pulse in my heart and soul. But I can’t find the words to do it. Please look into my heart and see there the thanksgiving I cannot say in words.” Subsequently, I felt that my true thankfulness reached God, and I was content.

I found on social media the following that echoes these thoughts:

Praying for the souls that were precious to me in life but had passed on, gave me a means to express to them how much I loved them and appreciated their contribution to my life. In some cases, it enabled me to seek forgiveness from those I had hurt in life but never had the opportunity to seek forgiveness prior to their passing.

I found that praying for someone as an intercessor, gave me a more meaningful and effectual connection with them and hence enabled me to become a blessing for them. This was particularly evident when I sought to comfort those who had suffered the loss of a loved one.

Many times I prayed silently when I was in the midst of challenging circum-stances. Not knowing what was happening, understanding how to react or respond and what to say, I quietly prayed in thought, only then to experience just the right action or words to say flowing into me.

I discovered that when I prayed aloud in the presence of others, especially when I was praying as an intercession for them as they struggled with a situation, the fact that a prayer is a spiritual entity allowed them to sense that which was beyond just the words, but also the spirit prompting them. In these cases, most often I found the words coming to me not from my mind but from the Holy Spirit. They were designed by God to comfort and respond to the needs of the souls involved. I gained a sense of gratefulness for being used as an instrument of blessing for them.

In situations that were beyond me, I found that during deep and urgent prayers, I gained a knowledge that I had not understood before. It was the evidence for me that prayer was not a one way conversation but rather a dialogue. Not a traditional dialogue comprised of words going back and forth, but a communication of spiritual thoughts. The more I experienced this phenomenon, the more I became sensitive to it. I have stood in awe at times when serious questions were answered in these sweet hours engaged in prayer.

The consequences of prayers have changed me in ways beyond my ability to explain. Reading the prayers of men and women in the Bible has also provided new dimensions to my understanding of effectual prayer. Solomon’s prayer “give me a heart with skill to listen” and David’s prayer “Search my heart oh God and see if there is anything that makes you sad” have provided me with ways to touch the heart of God with humble supplications.

The most life changing aspect of prayer was those extraordinary moments when prayers were answered almost instantaneously. The answers received were so perfectly precise and effectual that there was no doubt of its reality. Sometimes, the meticulous nature of the answers that came in the form of my thoughts, words I spoke or the actions of others were so astounding that uncontrollable emotions erupted in me.

Certain answers to prayers provided new understanding of the heart of God and His perfect plan for me and others. The benefits I have experienced with praying are far beyond this effort to explain.

TURNING POINTS

The life of prayer that I have enjoyed has been a lifetime of turning points. My praying has given me comfort, strength, faith, trust and vision from my relationship with my God and Father, His Son and His Spirit. I find that the character of prayer that is independent of time, place and form allows it to be effectively engaged in the moment.

Grieving VI

I continue my quest to find new words that have the potential to help those who are grieving find comfort and peace amid their loss. I know the pains of loss because I have experienced the passing on of the very special people who loved, blessed, and taught me. These souls comprised my family, teachers, friends, classmates, work colleagues and minsters. The relationship with each was and remains one-of-a-kind, unique to us. When the physical connection ended at their passing on, there was no escape from the sense of loss. But I feel blessed to have found ways to experience profound comfort and peace in the inevitable grief.

I have seen many memes and postings that try to offer comfort to those grieving and lacking comfort and peace. They are struggling with their loss that almost constantly drives them to the pit of agony and despair. I know that it is not a simple matter to change this narrative. Some on the memes though true do not help to find relief from the pain.

The following memes are recent from social media. I offer my perspective in the hope that my views might help someone see their grieving in a more positive light. I realize and appreciate that my perspective will not resonate with everyone. Each of us has a grief as diverse as the unique relationship that is at the root of your grieving.

This is one of the basic truths of grief. Unfortunately, many of those seeking to comfort grieving friends promote the lie of expecting and hoping for achieving “Closure”. Closure means finality. There is no finality to grieving. What there is is the possibility to grieve and at the same time find profound comfort and peace. And surprisingly actually find joy! When in the throws of grief one can find reasons for nurturing gratitude, joy is its harvest.

I like the essence of this because it echoes the fact that grief is actually love. Had there not been profound love, there would be no grief. This statement promotes the notion that our grief is out of our control. “I don’t know what grief will look like tomorrow” is true because grief has many faces. But what I find encouraging is the statement: “But I’ll face it.” This promotes the reality that we have control of how we will respond to the grief no matter what form it will take tomorrow.

What is this “learning how to swim”? I believe it is learning how to adjust our perspective of grief from pain, despair and loss to gratitude, appreciation, and gain. When we can so effectively focus on the gifts the relationship we shared together, it will overwhelm every sense of loss and the pain the goes with it. I encourage us to learn the great benefit of swimming and using every available stroke.

The important thing to recognize is that in emptiness there is pain and despair. To replace that with comfort and peace we need to learn to fill the emptiness not with “loud loss” but with thundering gratitude for all the good the life relationship afforded. I find it good to write down those “good treasures” to cement them into our memories so that we can be prepared to fill any sense of emptiness that appears unexpectedly.

Some of the greatest pain for someone grieving comes from those who love them the most. I am sure you have had such experiences when you were grieving. In their desperate attempt to comfort, they naively use words and phrases that hurt instead of healing. Words like “She’s in a better place” or “at least you still have two other children” and “time will heal you” are devastating.

I once counselled a mother who had just experienced the passing on of her daughter. I told her, “Be prepared for those who sincerely love you to say words that will deeply hurt you. Please know that they love you but do not know what to say and so will use words that hurt. I offer this too ease your pain and help you to eventually forgive.”

After a few months went by I asked her if there was anything I said to her during the early days of her grieving that caused her pain and hurt. She said, “No. But what to warned me of prepared me, because there were those whose words were very painful.”

This meme offers wisdom in providing comfort to those who are grieving. Passionate listening and presence is invaluable.

Note: Refer to the other articles on Grieving I through V on this blog for more thoughts on the art and process of grieving to achieve comfort and peace.

TURNING POINTS

Each of these and other memes that surface on social media offer opportunities to consider new ideas for promoting my and our mastering the art of grieving to achieve the comfort and peace we need. Perchance we can even find deeper sense of gratitude that can usher in a joy for what we had together.

Grieving V

Grief is in our hands, we can lament the “loss” or celebrate the eternal treasures someone passed on to us through the profound love shared in a life together.

I choose the latter.

It brings me peace and comfort and gratitude that blossoms into joy. Joy that we had each other long enough to know authentic love. Joy that God saw fit to bring us together in this life and find love and friendship that continue to reap an abundant harvest of treasured gifts.

TURNING POINTS

When I see social media posts that provide new insights into grieving, I consider the sentiment expressed and seek to understand what prompted it. Each such experience enhances the mastery of my grieving process and brings new joy to my heart.

Gold Bricks

Isaiah 55; 6 & 8-9

⁶Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near.
⁸“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
⁹“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

I remember a story that I have come to believe is a great way to explain the limits of our human condition, our human thoughts and ways. It is oh so difficult for us to escape the reality of adult perspectives of life that is mired in the material world in which we live. We just seem to be unbale to escape our physical limits and allow them to shackle and limit our spiritual thoughts.

The story was about a very successful business man who acquired an enormous wealth. So bound to his wealth that when he was facing the inevitable end of this life, he sought to bargain with God. He made his case in a prayer, meticulously stating his altruism and his generosity toward his neighbors in need.

God granted him the ability to take one carryon suitcase with him when he died. He prepared for his eventual demise by placing half a dozen gold bricks into the suitcase and awaited his death. When he died and arrived at the gates of heaven he was met by the greeters at heaven’s gates. Surprised by the unprecedented suitcase being hauled by the man who stood before them, they asked “What have you here? You can’t bring anything from earth into heaven!”

Respectfully he explained that he had requested permission from God to bring something of his wealth into heaven. “God allowed me to bring one carryon suitcase.” He answered.

The greeters asked him to open the suitcase, curious as to what he had valued so highly. Opening the suitcase revealed six bright shining gold bricks. The greeters broke into hysterical laughter. The man stood in shock. Why did his treasure evoke such an unexpected response? He thought.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You’ve brought pavers!? The streets of heaven are paved with these. We walk on them. You must know that heaven is not of the world from which you come.”

Jesus said you need to become as little children to be able to understand heaven. Children are not bound by the “adult reality” we have become afflicted with as adults. We need to get back to the open-mindedness of childhood.

TURNING POINTS

Striving to escape the limits of “adult reality” is critical for us to achieve the wisdom of Jesus’ statement that we need to become like little children. I believe He meant that we need to change our thinking and with it our ways to become more like Him. He has left us with countless lessons of how to achieve becoming like children in thought and deed.

My Cup Runs Over

Psalm 23:5

New King James Version

5 . . . My cup runs over.

David’s psalm has become one of the most quoted biblical passages. I always enjoy exploring the details of such passages. Finding not so obvious meanings embedded in the fine points of the text fascinates me. “My cup runs over” begs exploration.

What does it take for someone to proclaim, “My cup runs over”? In the context of David’s life, he must have recognized that God had given him more than he asked for and maybe more that he thought he needed. David suffered with many enemies. He relied on God for guidance and strength. Experience revealed to David that God not only heard him but responded to him in a generous and even lavish way.

What about me? Can I say that “my cup runs over”?

Life has taught me that without doubt or question, when considering my reliance on my God, my cup runs over day after day. This recognition prompts and even compels profound gratitude. Imagine asking for what I think I need and God providing more. The more He provides is what our omniscience God knows what I really need in the moment. From my perspective, my cup just ran over. I got more than I asked for. What a God!

When I see how God loves me, despite my weaknesses and failings, gratitude in the extreme brings joy untold.

But just how and when does “my cup run over”?

I am driving to a funeral service. I stop at a traffic light. No cars in front of me, a small line of cars to my right. I seldom if ever check my rearview mirror while awaiting a light to change. But suddenly, I feel the urge to peer into the mirror. I see a car racing toward me at a speed and distance that tells me it’s never going to be able to stop. I glance both ways and floor the accelerator storming through the red light. Another glance at the mirror reveals that car screaming through the intersection with smoke billowing from all four tires as the driver attempts to stop. My cup ran over big time. How could I not profusely thank my God for what just happened. I didn’t ask for that. But God provided just when He knew I needed it.

I am at an intersection about to make a right turn. Looking to my left to see a break in the traffic so I can execute my turn. When the break comes I hit the brakes hard instead of the accelerator. I look to my right and there is a pedestrian walking in front of the car. Had I hit the accelerator, I would have hit him and possibly killed him. Again, God caused my cup to run over. I didn’t ask, but He provided.

My book, Solomon’s Recipe, documents many of “my cup runs over” experiences.

What are your “my cup runs over” experiences? Search them and experience the profound gratitude that fills your soul.

TURNING POINT

The important recognition that God’s love is so deep for me that He causes my cup to runover at the precise moment it is needed is my turning point. God listens to me and adds His wisdom to His answers to bless me. Authentic gratitude springs forth from such recognition.

Baby Conrad – Garden of Innocence

When we got the message that a baby boy was coming to Garden of Innocence, all our volunteers and coordinators went into action fulfilling their normal assigned tasks. Arrangements were made to pick up the baby, a date for the service was set, a mortuary was arranged to hold him till the service, he was assigned a name, a poem was written, the Knights of Columbus were notified, and all other aspects were performed. A guest minister was scheduled, as well as musicians and everything was set. The baby was named Conrad.

The Friday night before the service I went to bed around eleven o’clock. Lying there I heard my phone ring. “Hello, this is Allan.”

“Hi Allan, this is Rick. I have bad news. I just got a call from the guest minister. He’s in Chicago and his flight was cancelled and he will not make it to the service tomorrow.”

I said, “Rick, don’t worry, I have this covered. I will see you tomorrow.”

I lay there and prayed, “Dear Heavenly Father, You know what needs to be done for Baby Conrad. Please bless me and guide me and enable me to provide a service for this baby tomorrow. Thank you in advance. Amen!”

In the middle of the night, I was suddenly awakened with the thought of the words from Isaiah 55, My thoughts are not your thoughts saith the Lord!

I said to myself, “Okay, that’s the text for the service tomorrow” and went back to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and headed straight to my computer where I went to my on-line bible to extract Isaiah 55; 6 & 8-9 (NKJV) ⁶Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. ⁸“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. ⁹“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving and asked for some elaboration on this scripture. I was inspired to look up the meaning of the name Conrad.

I found that Conrad meant Bold & Wise Counselor. “Wow!” I thought, “What bold wisdom has Conrad about to pass on to me?”

I pondered, what does this mean relative to this scriptural statement?

I was taken back to previous services at Garden of Innocence and recalled the conversations I overheard. Things like, “Oh, he’s now an Angel” or “Now she can play on a swing” or “Now he can fly a kite!” And many more of these thoughts were expressed.

I wondered why do we have these thoughts? We like to think of Conrad as an angel, but why? We are comforted by them as we think of an angel with all its angelic characteristics. We like to think he is playing about as he would have had he lived, but why? It is comforting to think this, its familiar to us. We like to think they are well behaved, obedient, “angelic”, that makes us feel good.

I thought these are nice feelings to have but wait, God’s thoughts are higher than these. What would His thoughts be that would be higher?

What are angels, really? There are created by God to serve Him and those He loves. He gave them extraordinary characteristics and power to fulfill that purpose. What is Baby Conrad and all the other babies in our Garden? Angels? But wait, he and all the babies are Children of God and hence much higher than angels.

Imagine now the higher thoughts and ways of God. How does He see Conrad? Not as an angel but as His Child! A Child of God has different characteristics than angels

What do you think God had in mind when Jesus said:

Matthew 18:2-5 (NKJV) ²Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, ³and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ⁵Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

So, what characteristics does God see? What is He looking for that is so much higher than ours?

Humble, trusting, accepting of God’s love.

There is one profound difference that Conrad and all our babies have from all the other abandoned babies who have died. These countless souls never had someone to love them. They have no knowledge of God and His love. Who can reach them when all they know is rejections and abandonment? But Conrad and all our babies who also suffered abandonment are different because of your love for them. When we held Conrad in our arms and loved him, we conveyed the Love of God that we share to him. By that act of love, Conrad has now known the love of God.

In these higher perspectives of God, Conrad has become a real treasure, because God now has another messenger to join those who preceded him in the Garden here. What is Conrad’s message? Who does he speak to? I propose to you that they are all who have never felt the love of God through their parents, through those who were meant to love them.

My closing words of the sermon were: Rejoice my friends, you have been today for Conrad the love of God. You held him in your arms, you prayed for his soul, you loved him, and he has loved you. Let us praise our God for giving us this extraordinary opportunity to advance the Garden’s army of babies as they do the great work of proving the love of God to the uncountable multitude of souls that have passed on from this life without ever feeling such love.

TURNING POINT:

This experience taught me that when there is a spiritual need and God calls for someone to step up and step in, He will provide exactly what is needed. Trusting Him give courage to overcome any fear of inadequacy and the resulting experience deepen faith and joy in serving. The perspective from this experience shows the great love that God has for those who departed this life under very terrible conditions, and was highlighted by Jesus visit to those departed who were disobedient in Noah’s time.

Isaiah 55; 6 & 8-9

6 Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. 8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.

⁶Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near.
⁸“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
⁹“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.