My Turning Points – Page 6 – The Turning Points of Life

The Extra Mile ~ The Second Mile

Forward: A minister related this story in a service and it really touched the depth of my soul. I share it with my readers today in the hope that it will inspire a sense of value to patience and willingness to wait on the Lord for His perfect timing to bless us with a profound and new understanding.

THE SECOND MILE (by Robert Wells)

The great road stretched for miles in both directions and was very crowded. Groups of people on foot traveled steadily onward. Donkeys, heavy-burdened, passed along. A long train of camels, with great bulky loads high on their backs, plodded by.

The boy, David, standing by the side of the road, watched everything with eager eyes. “Someday, I’ll follow this road for a long, long way” he thought. “I’ll follow it all the way down to the Great Sea, and I’ll not stop even there.”

His eye fell upon a single figure, walking alone, along the crowded road. “He’s a Roman soldier,” thought David. “I can tell by the way he’s dressed. How I hate the Romans! If it weren’t for them we Jews would be free again. Then we wouldn’t have to pay their taxes or obey their laws. I hate them all!”

He stared at the Roman soldier who was almost opposite him now in the road. Suddenly, the soldier stopped. He shifted the heavy pack he carried, and eased it down to the ground. Then he straightened up again and stood resting a moment. David still stared at him, thinking angry thoughts. Then, just as the soldier turned to pick up his pack once more, he noticed David standing not far off. “Hey, boy!” he called. “Come here!”

David wanted to turn and run, but he stood frozen in his tracks. No one dared to disobey one of the soldiers of Rome. David went nearer, slowly. The soldier motioned to his pack. “You will carry it for me,” he said.

David knew that there was no help for him now. He knew the hated Roman law. Any Roman soldier could make any Jewish boy or man carry his load for him in any direction he was traveling for one mile. “But only for one mile!” thought David, angrily, as he unwillingly lifted the pack.

The soldier had already turned away and had started on along the road. He did not even bother to look back to see that David was following him. He knew that he would not dare do anything else.

David followed. The pack was heavy, but David was strong. He swung along easily, but his thoughts were angry. He wanted to throw the soldier’s pack down in the dirt and stomp on it. He wanted to shout and rage at that hated Roman soldier striding easily ahead of him. But he could do nothing except follow along, keeping his bitter thoughts to himself. “Just one mile. He can’t make me go a step further. Only one mile.” The words made a sort of song in his mind in time to his steps. “One mile, one mile…”

Then, as he was plodding along, David suddenly remembered another day when he had walked along this very same road. One day he had gone out a little ways from the city with some of his friends, to find a young teacher of whom they had heard about. They had found him out on a hill side among a large crowd of people. David had stopped with the others to listen to what he said.

“What made me think of him now?” wondered David with one part of his mind. Another part was still repeating over and over, “One-mile-one-mile-one-mile-”

“Of course,” he remembered suddenly. “The Master used those very same words. What was it He said about one mile?” He walked on frowning for a moment before he could remember. Then he said the words to himself: “Whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two.” That was what He said! David had not paid very much attention to it at the time. He remembered now other things the Master had said. “Love your enemies.” “Do good to them that hate you.” Then once more David found himself repeating the strangest of them all, “Whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two.” “Does he mean–could he mean–like, now?” David puzzled. “But why? Why should I go more than one mile?”

David was so busy thinking that he did not notice that the soldier had stopped, and so he almost ran into him. “You have come one mile,” said the soldier. “Give the pack to me.”

“I will go on,” said David. He did not know why he said it. “It has not been far, and I am not tired.”

The Roman soldier stared at him in surprise, and for the first time David really looked into his face. He saw that the soldier was very young. He saw, too, that he was very, very tired, in spite of the straight soldierly way in which he stood.

“You have come a long way,” said David.

“Yes,” said the other, “a weary way of many miles.”

“Have you far to go?”

“I go to Rome.”

“So far!” said David. “Then let me carry your pack for another mile.

“You are very kind,” said the soldier, but his face was still full of surprise.

So they went on, only now, the Roman soldier waited for David and walked beside him along the road. And suddenly, David found himself talking to the soldier as if they had known each other for a long time, and he told him all about his home and his family. And David listened while the soldier talked of his travels in far away places. They were so busy talking that the distance seemed very short.

“Tell me,” said the soldier at last, “how did it happen that you offered to come this second mile?”

David hesitated. “I hardly know,” he said. “It must have been what the Master said, I think.” Then he told the soldier all that happened out on the hill and all that he could remember of the Master’s teaching.

“Strange,” said the soldier thoughtfully. “Love your enemies. Do good to those that hate you. That’s a hard teaching. I should like to know this Master.”

They had come now to the top of a hill and the end of the second mile. David looked back along the road toward his home.

“I must go back,” he said. “The hour is late, and my parents will wonder where I have gone.”

The soldier took his pack and shouldered it again. The two clasped hands. “Farewell, friend,” said the soldier.

“Farewell, friend,” answered David, smiling up into the soldier’s eyes. Then the two parted.

As David strode back along the road, the words of the Master kept running through his mind: “Whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two.” And as he repeated the words, he found himself adding, with a strange, deep joy, “It works! It really works!”

It’s so very true! I walked one mile with an enemy — I walked the second mile with a friend.”

REFERENCE: http://robertwells.tripod.com/romansoldier.htmlCopyright

My Samaritan

Sitting in church on a Sunday morning, two strangers entered the church just after the service began. I glanced over briefly and noted that one of them looked awfully familiar. What’s this person doing here? No, it couldn’t be him! That’s impossible, just couldn’t be him!

In our church small group midweek discussion evening just four days prior, we explored the experience of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. A lesson of that experience among others was that we often hold prejudices towards those who think differently than we think. Jesus vividly showed His disciples that though they shunned Samaritans, Jesus did not. I walked away from that discussion evening wondering do I have any “Samaritans” in my life? Are there people I disparage behind their back and don’t realize I am doing so?

It didn’t take long for God to respond to my wondering.

Four days after that small group evening, an unexpected, unplanned and “unexplained” series of events took place for me.

Our church has two congregations in the San Diego area, Vista and National City. Vista is an English only congregation and National City is Spanish with English translation. Since my mother-in-law was in her 90’s, she had a difficult time assimilating the translated services in National City. So, we always attended Vista on a Sunday mornings.

It was Father’s Day Sunday in June 2015 when my wife Carol and I went to my mother-in-law’s home to take her to church as we usually did. Alas, she was feeling under the weather and explained she would not be able to attend church. We prayed with her and left. On the way to the car, we decided to attend service in National City as we had not been there for quite some time. We thought it would be good to see our friends who attend there.

We arrived at the church to a joyful reunion. We were warmly greeted by the members who were still outside and then made our way into the church. We placed our offering into the offering box and took our seats in the fourth-row pew opposite the choir.

The service began with the Bishop, our very dear friend.

A few minutes into the service two strangers came in and quietly took a seat behind the choir, just across the aisle form me. At first glance, I thought I knew the gentleman as he appeared very familiar. But after some thought dismissed him as just looking remarkably like a man I had worked with some thirty-five years before. I hadn’t seen this person since. I figured it was impossible for it to be the same man.

For a few minutes, distracted from my attention to the sermon, I pondered the unlikely possibility. I finally discarded as preposterous the chance that I knew this stranger and quickly returned my attention to the service.

The bishop soon reached a point in the sermon where he requested the choir to render a hymn.

To my surprise the stranger and the lady he was with moved across the aisle and sat in the pew in front of me. Then I realized it is him. That’s Mike who I worked with for ten years at a local company.

I was shocked and immediately prayed, asking God, “What dear heavenly Father are You teaching me by this extraordinary situation?”

Then I heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit’s words, “Meet your Samaritan!”

It didn’t take long for me to understand. For the last thirty-five years whenever I had a conversation about managing styles, I used Mike’s management style as an example how not to manage. Truly I treated him as the Jews treated Samaritan’s, rejection and criticism.

Wow, I thought. I really did have a “Samaritan” in my life. Now the question was, what am I going to do about it?

Jesus taught that we are to love one another, even when we disagree with them.

When the service was over, Mike and his companion made their way to the exit. I caught up with them in the foyer.

I addressed the lady, “I am sorry, but I don’t recognize you.”

She responded, “Oh I recognize you Evangelist Musterer. You baptized my son in this church many years ago. I’m Marilyn.”

I said, “Marilyn, I am sure you are right. But I am so very sorry that I don’t recognize you.”

I looked at Mike, “But I know you!”

Mike said, “No you don’t. We’ve never met!”

“You are Mike Smith and we worked together at TRI from 1978 to 1988. I’m Allan Musterer.”

Mike stood in astonishment, mouth agape. We wended our way outside and continued our brief conversation. Mike explained that he and his wife had moved to Florida where she eventually passed on from cancer. Mike started a business and hired Marilyn as an administrative assistant. Since they both had sons in San Diego, they traveled together for Father’s Day to visit their sons. Marilyn wanted to attend church that morning so since she didn’t have transportation Mike agreed to join her.

I offered my condolences and since they had to leave, I gave Mike my business card and asked him to contact me when he returned home.

The following Wednesday I shared my extraordinary Sunday experience with our small group discussion meeting. It inspired a lively conversation. My only regret was that I didn’t get Mike or Marilyn’s contact information. I wanted to share with Mike and Marilyn what the unexpected meeting meant to me.

The next Sunday, my mother-in-law was feeling well so we attended service in Vista. Mike and Marilyn again attended in the National City church. My friend Bob, recalling my disappointment for not getting their contact information, approached them and after a brief conversation got their emails for me.

I sent each of them an email explaining what I experienced and asked for their forgiveness. But alas did not get a response. I felt much better that I could explain myself and ask for their forgiveness.

I continue to stand in awe of what complex lengths God went to in arranging this powerful lesson from the life of Christ to bring it so vividly into my life today. As you read this experience, consider all the intricate “coincidental” actions of so many people that it took to create this story.

TURNING POINT

I realize again and again to what lengths the love of God goes to teach me to follow the teachings and wisdom of Jesus Christ. So often I can get lost in the hustle of life and slip into conduct that is not consistent with being an active serving Christian. I now make a deliberate effort to measure my words. I am not yet perfect, and still have my stumbling along the way, but I can count on the whispered reminders of the Holy Spirit. I just pray for a heart with skill to listen when He speaks.

THE GREAT REQUIREMENT

The great question: What does God expect of me?

Micah 6:8 The Message
8 But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what GOD is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously.

Micah 6:8 New King James Version
8 He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love [a]mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Charles Spurgeon was a 19th century preacher with gifted insight and talent for expressing spiritual thought in words that prick the heart and soul. Here are his notes on the Great Requirement from the Spurgeon Study Bible.

Walking with God denotes an active habit, a communion in the common movements of the day. Some bow humbly before God In The Hour of Prayer, others sit humbly in His presence at the time of meditation and others work themselves up to draw near to God in seasons of religious excitement; but all these fall short of Walking with God. Walking is a common pace and ordinary rate of progress and it does not seem to require great effort. But then it is a practical working pace, a rate at which one can continue on and on and make a Day’s Journey by the time the sun is down. So walking with God means being with God always. Being with him in common things; being with him on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, as well as on the Sabbath. It means being with Him in the shop, with Him in the kitchen, with Him in the field feeling His presence in buying and selling and weighing and measuring, in plowing and reaping doing as for the Lord the most common acts of life. Then comes in the qualifying word of “humbly”. When our walk with God is closest and clearest, we must be overwhelmed with adoring Wonder at the condescension that permits us to think of speaking with the Eternal One. To this reverence must be added as a constant sense of dependence, walking humbly with God in the sense of daily drawing all supplies from Him and gratefully admitting that it is so. We are never to indulge a thought of independence from God as if we were anything or could do anything apart from Him. Walking humbly with God involves a profound respect for His will and a glad submission to it, yielding both active obedience and passive submission. Humble walking with God cries undercutting afflictions, “It is the Lord let Him do what seems good to Him.” When the Lord bids me serve Him I must plead for Grace to run in the ways of his Commandments and when the Lord chastens me I must beg for patience to endure His appointments. Walking humbly with God implies all this and much more. May the Holy Spirit teach us what a broken and contrite spirit means and keep us always low before the Lord. The practical result of all of this inward humbling will be an acting toward others and a moving in all matters as under the influence of a humble spirit.

I trust this inspires thoughts that are of value to you in your quest to master discipleship in Jesus Christ.

“I Have Prayed for You”

Luke 22:31-32 (NKJV) Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial
31 And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

I have found this brief bible passage of a statement of Jesus to be very profound. I have searched it for many months and each time I visit it, I see something new and revealing. I offer here some of these discoveries.

• “Simon, Simon! I see in this urgent call to the disciple the authentic love that Jesus had for his disciple. Peter was quite a character. His enthusiasm often pushed his statements into a troubling position. In fact, at one-point Jesus said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23 (NKJV) 23 But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are [a]an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”) Peter didn’t take offense like others might, but Peter didn’t learn his lesson. Many time later Peter stepped on his toes by his fiery persona. Still Jesus knew Peter’s heart and loved him all the more.
• “… Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.” Jesus love for Peter is evident in His pointed warning to Peter that Satan was targeting him. But as we know, Peter’s belief in himself rejected the warning. Nevertheless, Jesus love for him continued. Surely Jesus knew His words were falling on a closed mind.
• “But . .” I recall reading where an author proposed that “but’ stands for “Behold the Underlying Truth”. Despite surely knowing Peter’s rejection of the warning, Jesus wanted to equip His beloved disciple with an assurance, a measure of strength to sustain him in what was to follow.
• “. . . I have prayed for you,” Jesus in His great love for Peter, tells him that He has prayed for him. This revelation I have taken personally, and I hope you will as well. Since Jesus has a great and perfect love for Peter, despite Peter’s foibles, it caused Him to pray for him. I believe Jesus prays for me, despite my weakness and foibles. I passionately believe that Jesus loves me and cares for me to the point that He prays for me as He did for Peter. Most importantly, not only for me for all that He loves.
• “. . that your faith should not fail;” I find it telling that Jesus prayed for the resiliency of Peter’s faith. That underlines the importance of our faith that provides a deep and authentic trust in God. It is a powerful understanding that Jesus saw Peter’s faith as the most significant target of His prayer. Notice He didn’t pray that Peter’s struggle with Satan’s testing would be removed, but rather that Peter’s faith would withstand that test.
• “. . and when you have returned to Me,” Here Jesus reveals His confidence in the answer to His prayer that Peter’s faith would win the battle. Note that He used “when” not “if” as evidence of that confidence. Jesus is convinced that Peter would return as the victor. Can you imagine how Jesus must be confident that His prayer for you and me, that our faith will not fail, will have the same outcome for you and me as it did for Peter?
• “. . . strengthen your brethren.” Again, the great confidence that Jesus has in His prayers is magnified in this last statement as He bids Peter to use his trial and the victory to be a blessing for his brothers, his fellow disciples. This is a call to you and me, to share how the prayers of Jesus on our behalf have wrought countless blessings and the ensuing victory over the Evil One in our life of faith.

I hope that my sharing this insight into the depth of this experience with Jesus will inspire you to further plumb this Word of Jesus to see what richness awaits your inquiring of the Holy Spirit. Surely He will customize further revelations to suit your personal life with Him.

The “CORRIDOR”

Matthew 7:13-14 (NKJV) The Narrow Way
“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

Our congregation’s priest was being retired and there were no possible replacements that we saw on the horizon. Then, God who works many a blessed surprise “brought” a servant from Germany along with his family to our community. He was being assigned for two years by his employer. He became our priest and served us with love and joy.

Early in his time with us, he confided in me that he was concerned about his lack of English vocabulary and hoped that he would not make a mistake in language that would offend someone in the congregation.

I assured him that the Holy Spirit would guide him through every service but if he had any reservations, I offered my help with words. After all, he understood that words can have multiple meanings and can easily be misinterpreted.

Each Sunday morning I prayed for him specifically for his serving, knowing his concerns regarding his choice of words.

As the sermon unfolded, I sensed our priest leading up to the Bible passage above regarding the “narrow way” that leads to life. But as the words flowed, instead of using the word “narrow” he used the word “corridor”. My heart leapt as I took in that word in the context of the biblical passage. I was mesmerized by a whole new perspective on that passage. A passage I had used many times in my own years of serving sermons at the altar. Now in my mid-seventies, God speaks a whole new way to see that age-old passage.

In my business as an engineer, our company serves primarily hospitals and schools. We take their old threadbare drawings and convert them into computerized electronic drawings. These drawings for both schools and hospitals have countless corridors on their drawings of floor plans. These corridors gave a new view of the “narrow way”.

The term “narrow way” implies a restriction, a limitation on one’s freedom; an assault on our ability to go where we want to go and a real inconvenience. Such negative feels are highlighted in the bible passage that indicates that the more popular way is the wide one.

As I considered the opportunities offered by the concept of corridors, I realized the following observations.

In a school setting the corridors lead to numerous classrooms. Each offering a differing set of knowledge and teachings. Laboratories offer an opportunity to learn by means of experimentation. Seeing firsthand how one thing leads to another.

Another room teaches geography wherein we learn about places far different from our own local experience. Each room offers new opportunity to grow in wisdom and understanding.

In the hospital setting, corridors lead to rooms where illnesses are diagnosed, where equipment is available to see beyond the human eye, and where there are instruments that reveal symptoms of serious illness. Still other rooms are there for surgery, recovery, rehabilitation, and therapeutic equipment.

I invite you my readers, to customize these seedling thoughts of mine to expand how the “corridor” perspective can illuminate the ‘narrow ways’ that you experience in your life. I see a whole plethora of spiritual views hereto for unexplored. I wonder what fascinating revelations our God will open to you.

My Book “SOLOMON’S RECIPE” has arrived!

The essence of my book, SOLOMON’S RECIPE, was the first post on my blog. I expanded it into my first published book. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and most online book stores. Should you read it and find it worthy, please recommend it to your circle of friends. I am always open to your comments and how the book may have blessed you.

Note: Book is available as a paperback and eBook (Amazon Kindle + Barnes & Noble Nook)

Amazon Link::

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=solomon%27s+recipe+by+allan+musterer&crid=1BRENE2PNBGXS&sprefix=solomon%27s+%2Caps%2C336&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_10

Barnes & Noble Link:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/solomons-recipe-allan-musterer/1134053223?ean=9781646060207

Look for upcoming books “The Turning Points of Life ~ Realizing Those Moments That Change Everything” & “The Evolution of a Sushi Chef through the Eyes of His Father” and “Grieving ~ Finding Peace and Comfort in the Face of Loss”

Previews currently available on my Blog @ www.lifeturningpoints.org

Books2Inspire website is now available at www.allanemusterer.com

Sincerely,

Allan

Grieving IV

Since I started writing about grieving, I have been finding very powerful and new to me information on how to master the art of grieving. As noted before, grieving is a very personal journey, none are like any other because the relationship between two people is unique. The deeply personal experiences can never be fully appreciated by anyone else, no matter how one might try. It is best to accept that and find peace, comfort and even joy in maintaining a connection with a loved one who has passed on. My previous writings on this subject provide a plethora of different ways to perceive one’s grieving. It is like looking through a prism and seeing a wealth of opportunity from what was invisible before we peered through such a looking glass.

Here is yet another perspective that I will be adding to as new visions find their way into my life. I gave this a title, and without a known author, I will offer it as from Anonymous.

WISDOM FOUND

I had my own notion of grief.
I thought it was a sad time
that followed the death of
someone you love.
And you had to push through it
to get to the other side.
But I’m learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through.
But rather,
there is absorption.
Adjustment.
Acceptance.
And grief is not something you complete,
but rather, you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish
And move on,
But an element of yourself –

– Anonymous

Grieving III

As life experiences unfold before my eyes each day, and as dear friends pass on, my learning more and more the fine art of grieving continues to present new ways to experience this most inescapable and profound emotional and spiritual personal perspective. Since the passing on of someone who meant the world to us is uniquely individualistic, I find that the more ways to view such can enable more and more souls to find a measure of comfort in one or more perspectives I have inserted into my grieving posts. Hence, I have become sensitized and watchful for any new visions, thoughts or words that may be helpful to those who might read my posts.

Recently and unexpectedly, a dear friend showed me a poem by Henry Van Dyke that spoke to me and perchance it may also touch your grieving heart and provide a measure of comfort. For me the maritime theme/metaphor connected me to the calming that the eternal endlessness and constancy of the sea has always provided.

I call this poem “GONE?” as the author (or my source) had no title:

GONE?

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails
to the morning breeze and
starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky
come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says:
“There, she’s gone!”

“Gone where?”

Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear the load
of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says:
“There, she’s gone!”
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:

“Here she comes!”

And that is dying . . .

-Henry Van Dyke

And till at last we meet again . . .

On Being A Blessing

As I noted in my introduction to this blog, I am hoping to become a blessings for at least someone each day through my postings or through meeting a friend or a stranger and responding to the urging of the Holy Spirit to speak to them. To prepare myself for that eventuality, my morning prayer includes these words: “Lord, make me a blessing to someone today. Guide me to that person or persons with Your Spirit and grant me the vision to see them, the ear to hear Your Spirit’s whisper and the courage to act without understanding what is happening.”

Some years ago, I received a gift in the form of a CD, Michael Crawford’s “On Eagle’s Wings”. One of the songs on that album became a personal favorite because it spoke to my morning prayer in a special way. I offer here the lyrics and perchance you want to listen to the song sung by Michael Crawford here they are:

Not Too Far From Here
Hilary Weeks

Somebody’s down to thier last dime
Somebody’s running out of time
Not too far from here

Somebody’s got nowhere else to go
Somebody needs a little hope
Not too far from here

And I may not know their name
But I’m praying just the same
That You’ll use me Lord to wipe away a tear
Cause somebody’s crying
Not too far from here

Somebody’s troubled and confused
Somebody’s got nothing left to lose
Not too far from here
Somebody’s forgotten how to trust
Somebody’s dying for love
Not too far from here

It may be a stranger’s face
But I’m praying for Your grace
To move in me and take away the fear
Cause somebody’s hurting
Not too far from here

Help me Lord not to turn away from pain
Help me not to rest while those around me weep
Give me Your strength and compassion
When somebody finds the road of life too steep
Somebody’s troubled and confused
Somebody’s got nothing left to lose
Not too far from here

Somebody’s forgotten how to trust
And somebody’s dying for love
Not too far from here

Now I’m letting down my guard
And I’m opening my heart
Help me speak Your love to every needful ear
Someone is waiting not too far from here
Someone is waiting not too far from here

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: TY LACY (5820) / STEVE SILER (11499)
Not Too Far From Here lyrics © Ariose Music, ARIOSE MUSIC GROUP INC, ARIOSE MUSIC GROUP INC.

Grieving II

New perspectives on the process of grieving continue to surface even as I continue my personal journey through grief. Recently I came across this image of a statue created by Albert György.

The artwork is called Melancholy by Albert György and is on display in Geneva, Switzerland) Read more about the piece and artist here: https://totallybuffalo.com/a-sculpture-that-creates-intense-emotion/

This sculpture profoundly depicts the feeling of emptiness when someone huge in our life dies. The apparent loss is so big, it leaves a sense of emptiness that defies description. I have known that feeling. But I have also learned how to fill that empty whole in my being. It is that knowledge that I hope to convey and share with you my readers. It is my sincere hope, that with my experience, you can find some measure of comfort and some path for filling the emptiness in your heart from your loss.

The first step I have found is to develop a firm belief in the afterlife. This is essential to form a bedrock of hope that the painful separation is not eternal. On this corner stone, a structure can be built with the capacity to provide an authentic comfort in grieving. In fact, it can lead to a depth of appreciation for grief itself.

Once you can extricate yourself from the sadness associated with the painful feeling for the soul deceased, you can begin to work on your feelings of loss and the emptiness that follows.

The next step is to reshape your perspective. I discovered this when a grieving father gave his eulogy for his teenage daughter who had died. He eloquently shared all the things his daughter “passed on” to him that he treasured. He explained that seeing death as “passing on” instead of “passing away” provides a different perspective. I found this to be profound.

Exploring this new perspective, I realized that the “passing away” view produced an implication of the person leaving you, and progressively moving further away each day. Such a view deepens one’s sense of loss. On the contrary, the “passing on” view opens the way to focus on all the wonderfully valuable assets the deceased gave you in life, thereby keeping them close and “alive” in your life.

This is where “prism viewing” comes into the process. Simply stated, prism viewing means looking at life through a specific prism, as with physical prism that reveals the beautiful colors that compose white, invisible light. When I choose to view my loss through the prism of “passing away”, I will see all the reasons why I am losing that person and it intensifies my emptiness. But if I choose the prism of “passing on”, I see and remember all the precious treasured gifts that life with that person gave to me. The emptiness begins to be filled with those treasures. Emptiness is relieved and joy can fill the void.

Every person in your life that precedes you in death, has left you with treasured experiences and memories. Prism viewing helps you remember them. These have been termed “collateral beauty”. A movie of the same name provided a fascinating perspective on this aspect of loss.

I found however, that the most potent positive vision of grieving is what I gleaned from a television show. The show is a drama that takes place in a fictitious hospital emergency room. Code Black is the term for a situation when an emergency room is overwhelmed with critical patients. The resources of equipment and personnel have become insufficient to handle the circumstances.

In one episode, the ER’s lead doctor is speaking to a patient who is not severely injured. He is a psychologist. The doctor is grieving continually for years since a car accident took the lives of her two children. The patient, with his extensive training and experiences sees her grieving heart. He offers to help her, but she adamantly refuses his offer to help her overcome her grief. She tells him why.

“My grieving is for me the profound evidence that I have deeply loved, and I have been deeply loved. No one will ever take that precious gift away from me. Never.”

That statement opened a very interesting viewpoint for me. It prompted many hours of meditation and deliberation. I concluded, that there was much truth in the following statement.

This love that you shared with the person who passed on does not have the capacity to die. It lives on and there is a place for it to go. It is shared with that person every moment you recall the treasures you shared in life. It revives that feeling of friendship and love that made your life together so special, so important, so blessed.

The love of grief has the power to fill the emptiness and help looking forward to newly resurrected memories from a life well lived and a love deeply shared.

To my readers, I hope these thoughts can help you fill that empty space you feel. I pray that God will open your memories and reveal the many forgotten treasures your loved on passed on to you.