Stories that Inspire Turning Points – Page 8

A Father Remembers

I was invited to attend the funeral service for a courageous young teenager who battled heart disease all her life until it tragically took her life.

I arrived at the church to find it overflowing with mourners. People of every age and ethnicity were there, grieving over the loss of a very special person who had obviously deeply touched them.

During the service, everyone who spoke had glowing words of praise as they each honored this extraordinary girl. Each person made an impression on me but one stood out to the point that it changed my perspective. I was deeply touched by the testimony offered by her father in his eulogy. It was for me a turning point.

He explained that in certain areas of the country, differing phrases are used to describe a person that has died. In some places he explained, one says “they passed” or they “passed away”. But where he came from one said “they passed on”.

The grieved father proceeded to explain what his precious daughter had “passed on” to him, enumerating all her extraordinary qualities and virtues. With a delicate choice of words, this father provided to the assembled mourners an exquisite description of how all the little things she did that were prompted by her admirable character had deeply touched and changed his soul. Everyone sat in an absorbing silence as they joined me in taking in his moving speech.

Listening intently to the gripping testimony, I absorbed the essence of that father’s eulogy. I began to look differently at all those who were a part of my life.

In the days that followed, I searched my list of departed relatives, friends, teachers, co-workers, church members and specifically those whose funerals I had conducted over the years. As I considered each one over time, I explored what they had passed on to me. The treasures discovered were myriad. The effect of my investigation looking through the prism of my new perspective caused me to appreciate more deliberately what was “passed on” to me by those I have had in my life up till today.

Such vision created a new appreciation for those who blessed my life each day. The good people in our life who so effectively made my life better.

In the midst of these deliberations I recalled what I wrote in greeting cards I made for friends in celebration of their special days. I included the following in their cards:

Good people will be remembered as a blessing. . . . Proverbs 10:7
~
Celebrations are Memorial Days – the bookmarks of our lives,
When we pause to re-read the wonderful good parts,
And wonder what comes next!
These are perfect times to pause and remember
Those extraordinarily special souls in our lives . . .
The wonderful people we thank God for always . . .
The thoughtful, caring people who have profoundly touched our lives
As few can . . .

Returning to these words, I found that when I looked at life through the prism of what is “passed on” to me by others, I became a more grateful person, honoring God’s marvelous choice of people He brings into my life to make it so blessed.

Turning Points

Those few moments at the funeral, listening to a grieving father recounting the treasures passed on to him by his daughter, was a turning point for me. It gave me a new perspective.

Since that day, whenever I have the privilege to serve at a funeral or conduct a funeral service, I share this treasured perspective with those that mourn. Even when I serve at an abandoned baby’s funeral in the Garden of Innocence, I focus on what that unknown child “passes on” to me in those moments when I cradle them in their casket in my arms.

In another perspective, I now am more sensitive to what I “pass on” to those in my life. It is my hope that they are treasures just as valued as those I have received.

I Want To Be A Veterinarian

When my son Randy was about to enter high school, I decided it was time to encourage him to seriously consider what profession he wanted to pursue. His mother and I planned for him to go to college and it was our intention to provide the financial support for his education. From my own experience, I knew that the sooner one decided on the profession they wanted to embrace, the sooner they would effectively prepare for it.

One day while driving together, I said, “Randy, in a few weeks you’ll be starting high school. Now is the time for you to make an important decision. What career do you want to make for yourself? I don’t want to push you into anything. It is your decision and I will support whatever career you choose. I will however, suggest that doctors make a good living and dermatologists don’t get emergency calls in the middle of the night.”

Shortly after our talk, Randy came to me and announced that he wanted to be a veterinarian. I applauded him on choosing such a noble profession. Considering his love for animals and his ability to easily relate to them, this was not a surprise.

I said, “Randy, you have chosen well. Now you need to ride your bike around town to find a veterinarian clinic and get a job there after school so you can witness firsthand the day to day activity of a veterinarian in an animal clinic.”

Randy agreed and over the next week he visited a number of local animal clinics. At the dinner table one evening he said, “Well dad, I visited a few clinics like you said, but this is not going to work out.”

I inquired, “Why is that?”

He said, “Because they don’t pay. They only take volunteers. They don’t even pay college students.”

Understanding that on weekends and holidays Randy had been working on fishing boats as a deckhand and making a good income, it was natural that he expected to be paid.

After some thought, Carol said, “Randy, just pick the clinic you would like to work at, volunteer there and we will pay you minimum wage for the hours you work.”

Randy chose to work at the Center Veterinary Clinic in Mira Mesa a few blocks from the high school. The next day he signed up there as a volunteer. He worked for a few hours after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It was great experience and he really enjoyed the work and training he received. After about three weeks, Randy told us that he was hired and now getting paid.

Since this turn of events didn’t fit in with the report Randy gave us previously, I decided to contact the vet at the clinic to understand what had happened. I called and left a message with the clinic and soon after I received a call from the vet.
I said, “I’m Randy’s dad, and he just told us that you have hired him. I was under the impression that clinics only took volunteers who were not paid. How is it that you have hired my son?”

The doctor said, “Do you know what Randy is doing in our clinic?”

I said, “Yes, he works there every Tuesday and Wednesday after school.”

The doctor said, “You don’t know the half of it. Randy has been coming in on Mondays and Wednesdays as well to witness our surgeries and other more complex procedures. With such a passionate interest in the profession, I just felt I had to support him. That’s why I hired Randy.”

Randy enjoyed his work at the clinic and gained valuable knowledge from his experience. In his senior year Randy at Mira Mesa High School, he was accepted at California Polytechnic University in San Luis Obispo. He was accepted into their Pre-Vet Animal Science curriculum. This course of study was designed to prepare the student for Vet school after graduation.

High School Graduation

Randy studied at Cal Poly where, like most California State Universities, it took 5 years to finalize his education and earn his bachelor’s degree. We discovered that it extremely difficult to get accepted into graduate school for veterinary medicine. In fact, partly due to the very few available spaces in the veterinary doctorate programs, it is easier to get into medical graduate school.

Cal Poly Graduation

Although Randy did not get accepted into a graduate veterinary school after graduation, he used his degree from Cal Poly to secure a position as a cancer research scientist in pharmaceutical research. True to his character as displayed in his younger years, whenever he faced a challenge, he rose to take it on with unflappable grace and fore thought. This equipped him to make wise and deliberate decisions that lead him to opportunities for personal growth, career and business success, and ultimately making him a person of value.

Randy, Carol and Canaan
(His future business partner)

He was first employed by a small pharmaceutical research company in Silicon Valley. There he learned some valuable lessons and made strong professional acquaintances that prepared him for the future. His career in animal research focusing on cures for cancer and influenza some of the most prestigious pharmaceutical companies in California’s Silicon Valley. (See The Snake Challenge – February 2016; The Car Challenge – March 2016; A Father’s Advice – March 2016)

Turning Points

This turning point in Randy’s life set the stage for opening two doors for his future. The first was his career in cancer research. This career placed him in the unique environment of Silicon Valley. His cancer research jobs provided the elevated income levels needed for him to thrive in the high cost of living in this high tech area of California.

The second aspect of this turning point uniquely positioned Randy to follow his dream of one day becoming a sushi chef and owning his own restaurant. The time at Cal Poly allowed Randy to explore clever ways to feed the sushi cravings he developed while working as a teenager on the fishing boats in San Diego. This in turn allowed him to establish a circle of fellow classmates who also loved sushi and in particular enjoyed the fruits of Randy’s developing expertise in designing and making creative sushi rolls. When Randy graduated and began working in Silicon Valley, he found sushi restaurants to fill his sushi needs and friends from Cal Poly followed him there. Eventually he got a part time job as a sushi chef and “Sushi Randy”, as he became known, expanded the scope of fans beyond the college acquaintances.

When the time was right, Randy and his business partner found the perfect location and business climate to open a sushi restaurant in the heart of Silicon Valley, downtown Campbell. The unique restaurant was the perfect fit at the perfect time and supported by his loyal followers became known as the best in the Silicon Valley. (Ref: www.SushiConfidential.com)

The initial disappointments Randy experienced along the way were actually turning points that guided his course for him to embrace his purpose. Surely, the best is yet to come.

In many ways, Randy’s turning points were also my turning points as I witnessed how they precluded me from being able to spare him from those disappointments. I could only be there to encourage and support. Sometimes, that is the best a parent can and yes, should do.

Zoey’s Apple Pie Miracle

In the decade of 1990’s, most of the Southeast Asian refugees who had joined our churches in the San Diego area left for California’s central valley. They settled in places like Porterville, Merced and Visalia where they helped establish numerous missions and congregations.

My ministry then moved to the care of a congregation in El Cajon, California. There I developed a special relationship with one of the children, a little girl named Zoey.

My connection to Zoey had a history. I had the honor of performing the wedding of her parents Greg and Dawn. I also had the privilege of giving Dawn the confinement blessing when she became pregnant with Zoey. Then I was blessed with the opportunity to perform Zoey’s Holy Baptism. These three events created a special connection. Zoey was very easy to love. She had certain sweetness about her and a personality that quickly captured my heart. Her smile was irresistible.

While Dawn was working, her mother Daylene cared for Zoey. It was always a special day for Zoey being cared for by her grandmother. Daylene always had some creative activity in store for Zoey when they were together. One of Daylene’s special talents was sewing, and creating unique clothes. Zoey was a benefactor of that talent along with the many other adventures the two shared on the days they spent together.

Exploring the yard around Daylene’s home in El Cajon was one of Zoey’s favorite activities. They revealed many creatures that fascinated Zoey’s young inquisitive mind. These were turning point moments for Zoey that created a love and fascination for God’s creatures. When Zoey grew older she had many interesting pets and set her sights on becoming a veterinarian.

Daylene’s creative talent and artistic pursuits allowed her creativity to flourish and naturally became a positive influence on young Zoey.

One particular day Daylene’s project was for her and Zoey to bake apple pies. The whole process from finding the recipe to gathering and preparing the ingredients was carefully followed by grandmother and granddaughter. For Zoey it was a new experience but one that would have unexpected and potentially tragic consequences.

The crust was fashioned in the pie pans and the apples were sliced just to the right shape and thickness. The sauce was assembled and the filling was carefully poured into the crust. Then the covering crust was placed on top. Prior to completing the assembly of the pie, the oven was adjusted to the proper settings and temperature and turned on. The completed pies were placed in the oven.
While the pies were in the oven Dawn arrived to pick up Zoey to take her home. After a few welcoming hugs, the moment came to check on the pies. When the oven was opened, one of them exploded and hot apple sauce flew out all over Zoey’s face!

Immediately Dawn embraced her daughter and reached for a wet dish cloth from the kitchen counter. She put it over Zoey’s red and scalded face. After a few moments she removed it, and to her great relief she saw Zoey’s face showing no evidence of the terrifying event. No blisters, no redness, nothing, as if the flying hot apple pie filling never happened.

A grateful mother and grandmother thanked God for this amazing miracle. Then Dawn called me to share the happy outcome. I joined the three of them thanking and praising God for His gracious miracle and the protection He provided for this special little girl.

Turning Points

Aside from the obvious turning points this experience reveals for Zoey, it was also a turning point for me. As the minister caring for the congregation family, daily prayers for them was a part of my joyful serving. An event as this justified the importance and revealed the consequences of prayerful intercession for those I loved and served. Once again there was reinforcement of Solomon’s Recipe (See “Solomon’s Recipe” posted March 2015) and it’s guidance to “trust in the Lord” and “in all things acknowledge Him”.

When we can experience the blessing of a faithful prayer answered in ways that go beyond human explanation, a profoundly grateful heart is edified. A grateful soul is a happy soul.

The Sermon to Sleep Through

In my youth, I suffered as most from an intense fear of speaking in front of a group of people. The worst week of the year was the second week of December when our Sunday school had a Christmas program on the second Sunday evening. The program consisted of each of the Sunday school children reciting a poem from memory in front of the 300 church members. I spent the week before the program in agonizing fear and trepidation.

In elementary school I had to orally present book reports in front of the class. Those experiences were also very traumatic for me.

These fears created in me a deep respect for my teachers and the ministers in church because they had overcome that fear which I believed they also had to battle. For them it was a battle they had won and I had yet to master. In my youth, I could not yet imagine being successful in that battle.

My Church in Clifton, NJ

One Sunday evening when I was in my early teens, I attended a church service with my parents and younger brother. We arrived at church and my father parked our car in the church parking lot that was located in the back of the church.

Just as we arrived, the minister who was to conduct the service was just exiting his car. He walked toward the church and on the way greeted four men who were standing at the end of the parking lot. They were about the same age as my father. The minister was about twenty feet ahead of me on his way to the entry of the rectory.

As I passed by the four men I overheard one of them say to the others, “Well, I guess we can sleep though this one.”

These words pierced me deeply. It hurt me because I had such great respect for this minister. He was able to do what I never dreamed I would ever be able to do; speak in front of a large group. These men seemed to only judge the quality of his delivery and its content, but disregarded his courageous efforts to overcome the fear of speaking to a crowd.

I entered the church as never before. My mind was set on a personal mission. I was going to get so much out of the service that it would make whatever sacrifice the minister made that evening to serve the congregation worthwhile .

I marched into church, passed the offering box and emptied my pocket with all the money I had. It was probably seventy five cents, fifty cents more than my usual offering. Then I made straight for my seat next to my cousin just behind the choir.

Seated, I bowed my head prayed like never before. I pleaded sincerely with God to help me extract from the service so much as to make the efforts of the minister worthwhile, even if no one else in the whole congregation got anything from the service.

The service soon commenced and the minister began the sermon. The more it progressed the more disappointed I became. The minister, an immigrant from Europe, had a mild accent, spoke in a monotone and used a rather limited vocabulary. On top of that his grammar left much to be desired. But what troubled me was that he never seemed to complete a thought. One by one he would raise a thoughtful statement and suddenly drop it and go on to another. I couldn’t get anything that I could reasonably say made sense of any of it.

Anger seethed in me. After all I did that I thought would ensure a positive outcome, offering all I had, praying sincerely, I now had to face failing the minister. Worse was the sense that I was seemingly justifying the attitude of those four men.

When the service was over, I was filled with deep disappointment, anger and betrayal. I immediately left the church. I ran to the parking lot and got into the back seat of our car.

When my brother and parents entered the car soon after I did. My mother knew something was wrong. I politely repelled her inquiry as to what was wrong. When we returned home, I went right to bed, skipping dinner with the family.

In bed I railed against God, rebuking Him for failing my humble, sincere and noble request. I was so sure that what I attempted to do was so right. Why did my God not respond? After some time of ranting silently in my prayer of frustration, I lay there in silence and calm, exhausted by the experience.

In the silence, I suddenly heard again the first of the many “thoughts” raised in the sermon but dropped by the minister. This time, however, the thought continued to evolve through to its completion. I lay there in awe as I processed the amazing result. As soon as I realized this explanation and a new understanding entered my soul, the next thought from the sermon came to mind.

Just as with the first, this next thought continued on to a revealing conclusion. The revelation of these developed thoughts from the sermon profoundly touched my soul. I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving, but did not yet realize what a turning point this would prove to be for me.

The next day, and for some days thereafter, as I walked to school another of the sermon’s thoughts arose in my mind. Just as they did that Sunday night in my bed, they continued through to a glorious conclusion.

It took some time for me to realize what I had learned by this experience and to fully appreciate the turning point that it was for me and my future life experiences.

Turning Point

As the years unfolded, I discovered the turning point that this experience was and the treasure it became for my life. These are some of the treasures that came out of this turning point:
• When I attended service from this point on, I was able to gain great value even when the quality of the delivery by a minister was not perfect. I learned that my work with God and His Spirit came not only during but after the sermon in the time I gave Him to guide and inspire my thoughts.
• When I attended college, there was no church of my denomination within reasonable distance for me to attend. Visiting the local churches in the small college town, though interesting, did not fulfill my spiritual hunger. Equipped with the knowledge and understanding afforded by this experience, I was able to gain spiritual sustenance from transcripts of divine services in our church that were sent to me. I would spend hours on Sunday mornings studying those transcripts, a fact that surprised even me. However, through the preparation provided from my turning point, I gained understanding, confidence and strength in my pursuit of spiritual maturity.
• Years later when I was a minister, I was able to use this experience relating it to a family who had trouble accepting a particular minister who served them in their congregation. It proved to provide them a different perspective that helped them maintain their spiritual compass. (After that evening, I realized that I had never forgiven those four men for their attitude. I understood that God had used their weakness to bless me with a life lesson that required their participation. I sat in my car that night and prayed, seeking their forgiveness as they were all deceased by that time)
• Some years later, the highest minister in our church was quoted as saying, “No divine service is a matter of course; each is extraordinary.” In light of my turning point experience I realized there are three parts to the sermon, God’s input as creator, the minister’s input as the conveyor, and my “input” as the listener. God’s part is always extraordinary and perfect. The minister’s not always extraordinary or perfect. But I have the opportunity to make mine extraordinary if I am willing to seek and give the Holy Spirit time to guide me and reveal even what wasn’t said in the sermon.

A Father’s Advice – Getting Known

My son Randy wanted to make his career in veterinary medicine. It was not surprising to his mother and me as he loved animals from his early childhood. Randy was in high school when we suggested that he work at a local veterinary clinic. Randy searched around our neighborhood and found one particular veterinary clinic appealing. He inquired regarding employment and was told that they only take volunteers as interns without pay.

Randy told us that night at the dinner table that he didn’t think it would work at the clinic because they didn’t pay. Carol quickly offered to pay Randy minimum wage for every hour he volunteered. That sounded good so Randy applied and was accepted as a volunteer. To our surprise, after a few weeks he was hired at the clinic because of the intense interest he showed in the practice.

Following graduation from Mira Mesa High School, Randy attended Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo where he worked to earn a B.S. degree specializing in Pre-Vet Animal Science. However, after graduation he was unable to gain acceptance into the UC Davis veterinary program. His plan now had to change and find a new direction.

Randy found an opportunity to fulfill his passion for working with animals in an unexpected form, pharmaceutical cancer research. He accepted a position at a small pharmaceutical research firm in Menlo Park, California – Sequus Pharmaceuticals, Inc.

In June 1995, Randy was leaving home to begin his professional career at Sequus; I wanted to give him some fatherly advice. My purpose was to give him encouragement, confidence and successful thinking. History and experience told me that there were some very crucial things to understand starting out in the business world with hope to be successful. Most of these were learned by my own retroactive deliberations on what happened in my career in the business world.

Sequus Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Menlo Park, CA

I said to Randy, “Build an impeccable reputation because that is what people with think and speak of you when you are not around.”

I wanted Randy to realize that reputation was crucial. Reputation was what people thought of you as true: your character, your integrity, your honesty and your loyalty. Reputation was what others would think of you when you are not around. I wanted my son to be very much aware of this truth because it was under his control; it was in his hands to create it. Absolutely essential was purposeful building the truth. Any deception eventually would be revealed.

I told Randy, “Son, you need to find a way to let everyone in the company from the janitor to the CEO know what you are doing to contribute to the success of the company.”

I wanted him to realize that he must be known by the key leaders in the company. They needed to know him. Not just his name, but what he was contributing to the company and its future success. And they needed to know the details, not some “broad brush” understanding, but an in-depth, “nitty gritty”, fine point awareness of his talent and skill and the application thereof to the mission of the organization.

Finally I told him, “I have purchased shares of stock in the company where you will be working. I know you will make a difference in its success!”

I wanted my son to know I was fully confident in his success and that of the team with whom he was soon to be an integral and contributing part. I made an investment in the company and thereby an investment in him.

These fatherly words of advice resulted in some interesting decisions by Randy. Upon completion of the orientation activities on day one, Randy was provided with a computer and an office. He was assigned an e-mail address and a company roster with e-mail addresses.

He immediately set forth putting a plan into motion. Randy began e-mailing everyone in the company a letter of introduction he had penned expressing his delight in working for the company. At the end of the letter, he inquired as to their favorite leisure time activities and what they liked to do with their families. He received a very high percentage of responses from the staff. Upon review, Randy noticed that two things “stuck out”; picnics and volleyball.

Flood Park – Menlo Park, CA

Randy set out investigating the local area and found a park near the office that also had a number of volleyball courts. Over the next days, Randy planned out an “un-official” company family picnic featuring a volleyball venue and potluck lunch at Flood Park. He then made a reservation at the park for a Saturday a few weeks in the future. Randy invited all the company staff and their families to attend the Saturday program.

Volley Ball Court at Flood Park

It was a great success with a very high percentage turnout. The company CEO was so impressed with the high turnout he inquired of Randy’s boss, “I have been trying unsuccessfully to get something like this to work for our company. Who pulled this off?”

She replied, “Our new hire, Randy. Would you like to meet him?”

During the subsequent conversation, the CEO asked Randy to assist with planning and organizing the company’s annual winter dinner party.

Sequus Laboratory Facility

Randy at work in the lab.

The stock in the company rose considerably until the company was sold. I made a substantial profit in my IRA account with my investment in the company, but more importantly, Randy put into practice the principles of business I had shared with him and he reaped his own rewards. Constantly open to learning from his experience propelled Randy to a successful career.

It is interesting to note that while investigating Stanford University’s renowned and highly rated MBA program, I discovered they require a substantial essay from three high level executives of the company where a candidate is employed. The essay must describe in fine detail the work the candidate is performing for the company. The requirement necessitates the executive to be intimately aware of the candidate’s work. This was for me a confirmation of the validity of my counsel to Randy to become known to the staff at the firm.

Randy’s career in cancer and influenza research continued to develop as he contributed at a number of research companies in both technical and social arenas. Ultimately he was part of teams that gained national recognition in their field of expertise.

Some Lessons to consider:

• It is critical to have a plan and purpose at the very onset of employment in a chosen career. From day one you will be fashioning your reputation. It will be in your hands and the product of your performance over time. Your consistent behavior, conduct, decisions, etc. will create in the minds and hearts of those around you, the person that you are.
• It is important that the decision makers, the executives, know who you are and what you are doing. They need to know details. Your excellence will attract their attention and interest in you and your career. Their power will help promote you to get what you deserve and have earned.
• A well devised plan, executed with skill and determination, will eventually open the door to your success. Resourcefulness and creativity are assets that are important to develop.
• A good reputation is essential to any career. It is an unwritten resume that has a way of following one around. Once created, it is very difficult to change. A good reputation that speaks to one’s integrity and admirable character becomes an invaluable asset along life’s journey.

Turning Points

This experience taught me the value a parent can be to their children through wise counsel and sincere encouragement. Acknowledging your child’s doing the right things and offering sincere and detailed praise can make the difference between success and failure.

Following up on offered counsel and encouragement with prayerful intersession must not be under estimated.

The Rainbow

My wife and I were vacationing on the garden island of Kauai, the oldest island in the Hawaiian chain. During one of our excursions around the island we came to a famous waterfall site. Standing along the outlook area, we witnessed a truly awesome and unusually vivid rainbow created by the huge mist cloud over the falls. Carol and I marveled at the sight. We couldn’t contain our feelings and openly remarked of its great beauty to each other. The other visitors at the site agreed with our assessment.

After a few minutes, an elderly couple arrived on the scene and stood in ear shot of us. The woman standing closer to the falls than her husband gazed at the sight. Her husband lingered seemingly disinterested a few feet away. His position did not afford a very clear view of the falls. The woman, clearly seeing what the rest of us had, was obviously overwhelmed at the vivid rainbow. She exclaimed so all could hear, “WOW, honey, just look at that rainbow!”

Her husband, standing at distance away from her retorted, “What rainbow! There’s no rainbow! You’re seeing things again!”

The woman persisted, but her husband remained adamant as the interchange between them became rather heated.

I walked over to the couple and as I approached, their argument became muted. The woman was obviously embarrassed. It dawned on her that others had heard the heated conversation.

I addressed the husband: “Hello! Are you enjoying these beautiful sights? Isn’t this one amazing waterfall?”

He replied hesitatingly, “Well, I’ve seen bigger ones!”

I invited him to step closer to where his wife was standing so as to get a little better view. To entice him I pointed out something on the ground just adjacent to his wife. He walked with some reluctance to where I was pointing, looked down and said to me, “What? Is this some kind of joke? There’s nothing here.”

Then he looked up and saw the rainbow. Now at the same vantage point as his wife he suddenly exclaimed:”WOW! Honey, you are right! There is a fabulous rainbow!”

Turning Point

Sometimes we only need to move a few feet to see what others are seeing and experienced a turning point. All too often, we refuse to budge from our position and remain in ignorance of what is really around us. Our position depends on our disposition. The implication in view of the rainbow is “change your position” and SEE

Faith in a Nutshell

One of my friends at church was collaborating with ministers from other congregations in our area, exploring how someone can impact another person spiritually when they only have a brief moment to convey some powerful aspect of their faith. The purpose was to discover a way to equip the church family with a simple phrase that encompassed the essence of their faith in a positive non-offensive manner. The phrase or sentence needed to be very personal so that its delivery was natural, the profession convincing and hopefully inspiring further inquiry.

For want of a better term, I considered their idea in the common phrase to describe something great in as few words as possible, i.e. “in a nutshell”.

When the notion of a brief phrase was expressed to me I saw it as a challenge. I was not known for brevity in expressing deep spiritual concepts. Being trained to think like an engineer, I was detail oriented in thought and hence in expression. So “in a nutshell” was a real challenge for me.

As I considered what my faith meant to me I revisited my faith based experiences. In retroactive self-discovery, I uncovered a myriad of experiences that shaped my life. These were the turning points that changed me forever.

As an example, I recalled a moment when someone, while conversing with me about spirituality, asked me this question: “In a few words, what is the first thing that comes to your mind that benefited you by going to your church?”

Immediately I said, “I learned to revere and respect my elders.”

Asked to elaborate, I said, “As a little boy, my mother taught me to go to the front row of pews immediately when a church service was ended and greet all the elderly ladies that sat in the front row. Some of these elderly ladies were widows, and some were my relatives. In fact, one was my one and only surviving grandmother, my Oma, and another was my aunt Frieda.”

Allan

Oma

Aunt Frieda

In retrospect, I firmly believe and am convinced that this simple teaching gave me a sense of respect for my elders. This aspect of my character served me very well throughout my life. The elders who guided, coached and mentored me blessed me in uncountable ways.

Faced with the self imposed challenge of reducing the many benefits my faith afforded me over my lifetime, I set out to boil them down to as few words as possible. Numerous iterations were created and discarded for various reasons. I wanted my “nutshell” to be profound without being intimidating. I needed it to convey a powerful benefit that would inspire further investigation. I wanted it to be unique and not some typical tired old standard Christian cliché.

After working and praying over the many thoughts and notions that crossed my mind, I came up with the following as my expression of what my faith means to me in just a few words:
“My church environment has opened profound experiences with God, positively changing and enhancing my life. The resulting personal growth is my treasure and it can be for you too!”

Every entry into my church brings new understanding and new revelations. It is such that causes me to enter God’s sanctuary every chance I get.

There is a fascinating story in the Psalms that testifies to what I have found in attending church services. It is the 73rd Psalm and it tells the story of a man named Asaph.

Asaph was troubled by the fact that so many of his contemporaries were deceitful and downright evil, yet to him they seemed to prosper more than he. He became frustrated while doing his best to fulfill the laws of God and yet seemed to be unsuccessful. This weighed heavy on his soul as he lamented his case before God.

Then he had his turning point.

He confessed his misery saying, “When I tried to understand this, it was too painful for me”.

But then came the point of turning as he said, “Until I went into the Sanctuary of God; then I understood. . . .”

I can’t count the number of times I entered the sanctuary of God with the same feelings as Asaph, and left the house of God with that same sense, now I understand. With understanding came strength, comfort and peace; spiritual stamina to stay the course.

Turning Points

A simple exercise focused on an important aspect of our life can transform our awareness of aspects previously buried and out of sight and mind. Such awareness allows one to make wise decisions that will impact the future.

Reliving our life experiences has the effect of seeing our own “big picture” and making us a more grateful person. Grateful souls seem to have a blessed peace about them.

Seeing the value of the encounters we can have in the sanctuary of God brings us there time and again even when faced with various forms of resistance. Turning point moments are experienced there more than we might expect.

FRIENDS

Years ago I found myself dissatisfied with what seemed to me a lack of deeper understanding of the meaning of words we use every day in our conversation. This meant missing out on fully appreciating what we say and what we hear, underestimating meaning and losing something valuable.

One of those words was “appreciation” and I delved into it studying its fuller meaning and how it impacted me. (See my Post “Appreciation” June 2015) In that process, I gained an understanding that spread across many aspects of life.

Another one of those interesting words is “friend”. I remember mentioning to someone that they were my friend and their retort was, “You mean I am just a friend?”

What struck me was that this person did not appreciate what it meant to be considered a friend. To their understanding, a friend was something less than what I believed and understood a friend to be. I began my investigation.

I started with the dictionary and uncovered this:
Friend = one attached to another by feelings of personal regard; a well-wisher, patron or supporter; one who is on good terms with another.

A good start be still not very satisfying I went to the Bible to get a better sense of what more could be attributed to the meaning of “friend”.

In a statement by Jesus I found something quite interesting. In the Gospel of John, I read,
John 15:13-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

When Jesus made a special note to teach His disciples a meaning for being His friends, I realized that to Jesus a friend was quite special. Special to me was that He saw one as willing to give his very life for a friend! That really touched me. The very ultimate sacrifice was worthy of a friend. Jesus went further to classify those who loved and followed Him as His friends, in other words, those who He was willing to die for! He didn’t stop there when He went so far as to give them every gift from His Father that He had received.

I decided I would go even further in my study to see if there was more to be learned. It was then that I came upon a passage from the seldom read books of what is called the Apocrypha. There I found a very encompassing meaning for “friend” from what is often attributed to Solomon.

Faithful Friends are secure shelters & strong defenses;
Who finds such has found excellent treasures.
Faithful Friends are beyond price;
Their Excellency & worth more than money can buy.
Faithful Friends are elixirs, medicines for life;
Those who love & fear the Lord our God find them.
[Liberally translated/paraphrased from Ecclesiasticus 6:14-16]

When I read the phrases: “excellent treasures”, “beyond price”, “worth more than money can buy”, and “elixirs, medicines for life” I finally found satisfaction that I had embraced and understood what a true friend really meant. I also noted that in this passage, “friends” were described as “faithful” indicating that the notion of “friend” can be compromised by the evil one to create doubt and unbelief. Faithful Friends are true friends, not those who attempt to use the friendship for ulterior motives.

Turning Point

A turning point is often inspired by a sense of dissatisfaction with something we experience and one is prompted to dig beyond the obvious and search for value. It is in this search that treasures are discovered and obtained, seeming little things that become big influences on who we become. It fascinates me how such little moments guided by the Holy Spirit build in us treasures of great value.

Make-A-Wish and the Hands of God

My very dear friend Dawn’s teenage daughter Zoey was in her 22nd week battling for her life against the ravages of leukemia. The battle was intense with significant complications that accompanied the disease. Zoey was in a local hospital with seemingly endless new issues cropping up that made her condition very tentative. The struggle with the side effects of heavy and potent medications added to the pain of the numerous complications that attacked different organs and parts of her body. Zoey was such a trooper that the story of her battle reached far and wide across the globe. Greetings of hope and encouragement flowed in from everywhere. Make-A-Wish foundation, an organization that seeks to bring joy to children facing daunting and life threatening diseases and injuries, was appraised of Zoey’s battle. Zoey was asked what her wish would be.

Zoey was an avid fan of a popular TV serial program. The story was about the challenges of the survivors of a plane crash on a seemingly deserted island. Zoey was enamored with one of the actors on the program. Her wish was to have a tea party with the actor she enjoyed.

Make-a-Wish went to work contacting the actor’s agents to see if a meeting could be arranged. After some weeks of effort, his agents notified Make-A-Wish in response to their inquiry for Zoey. He was going to send a limousine to San Diego and bring Zoey and her parents to Los Angeles. Hotel arrangements were to be made and a program that included theme parks and a tea party was planned.
Dawn was contacted and told of this plan. She consulted with the doctors regarding the plan for Zoey’s Make-A-Wish trip to Los Angeles, but was given a devastating blow. The doctors said that Zoey’s condition at the time would not support such a trip; in fact, they were convinced it would be seriously detrimental to the treatment program. Zoey’s mother was facing a real dilemma. Obviously, her first consideration was to keep her daughter on a track for the best chance for recovery. But the cost, depriving Zoey of her wish was understandably troubling.

Dawn sent me a message explaining her concerns, hoping for some guidance to help her make the right decision.

My mind went back to the recent experience I had with my marine helicopter pilot. (See “The Volunteer” post October 2015) I explained to Dawn what I learned about facing such critical decisions. The best solution when decisions seem to be beyond us is to pray and put the decision into God’s hands. Then make the best decision you feel in our heart after your prayer. If it is the right decision God will support it. If it’s the wrong decision He will change things to insure you are blessed.

Dawn followed this guidance, prayed and placed it all in the hand of God. Then she made her decision. She called Make-A-Wish and advised them of Zoey’s condition. She explained the warning of the doctors and said that regretfully Zoey could not accept the generous offer from the actor. She asked them to kindly explain this to his agents and expressed her and Zoey’s sincere thanks and appreciation.

Just a few days later, Make-A-Wish contacted Zoey’s mother, explaining that they explained the situation to the actor’s agents. But the actor asked that since she could not come to Los Angeles, can he come to San Diego. When there was a positive response to his inquiry he decided that he would come to Zoey and spend some time with her at a local tea house. Dawn was thrilled and grateful. Just as we had discussed, by placing the decision in the hand of God, He changed things by touching the heart of the actor to go out of his way to fulfill the wish of a young girl battling for her life.

Shortly thereafter the actor came to San Diego and spent the afternoon with Zoey. They spoke of their love of the TV show and the intricacies of the story and plot.

The Tea House where the Make-A-Wish was realized

Afterward he remained in touch with Zoey through e-mails. The connection between them provided Zoey with a certain measure of joy as she continued her battle with the relenting disease.

Dawn shared with me the events as they unfolded. I reflected on the critical turning point that played such an important part of this experience. How God prepared me by the previous experience I had with my Marine friend moved my soul. He equipped me with the right solution for Dawn when she sought guidance. Without the deeply memorable lesson God provided me that moment months before, I would not have had the right word at just the right time. Dawn’s faith in God and His word brought about a lesson for all of us.

Turning Point

The turning point lessons God inserts into our life are never meant as a onetime blessing. God’s plan has the character of multiplying the understanding gained from turning point moments over time. I once noted to a dear friend and my spiritual mentor that he taught me to effectively commune with the Holy Spirit. When I practiced exercising a listening heart, the Spirit inspired thoughts that proved to be a blessing for me and those I had the opportunity to serve. I told him that I often received much more from my moments with the Holy Spirit than I expected. My friend wisely advised me to see myself as a well, filled by the Spirit when I was open to Him and empty of my own ideas. The concept he taught me was that the “well” would be drawn upon at just the right moment by the Spirit to make me a conduit of God’s blessing. A turning point of this story was the profound confirmation of my mentor’s wise council.

The Feather from Heaven

I travelled an extraordinary two year journey with Dawn and Zoey and their family that began when Zoey was diagnosed with leukemia. I was on vacation in New Jersey when Dawn called me to tell me of her teenage daughter’s diagnosis. The journey was one of constant prayers, conversations and faith building experiences. Those two years brought life changing experiences to all of us who were so intimately involved in Zoey’s courageous and often miraculous engagement with the complexities of her unique condition. The feather from heaven event happened at an intersection of a series of unexpected moments and turning point experiences. They continued to this day.

On August 7, 2012 Zoey passed on having courageously battled leukemia and a series of devastating complications that accompanied the disease.

On a beautiful sunny Friday morning in August shortly after Zoey’s passing, I joined her family at a cemetery for the internment of their beloved teenage daughter. I was asked to perform the graveside funeral service. During the moments just prior to the service, Zoey’s mother confided in me and shared her experience of earlier that morning.

When Zoey was still a healthy teenager, mother and daughter would walk in the mornings into their garden. Dawn led the way swiping away the spider webs that had been spun overnight along the path. Zoey was an animal lover, but spiders were the lone members of her list of bugs that she detested. Zoey loved feathers. They were simply special to her so she collected them. On this special morning when Zoey was to be laid to rest, Dawn decided to take the morning walk alone through the garden. As she swiped the webs out of her path, deep feeling for her Zoey filled her heart. Then, when she reached the end of the garden, a beautiful feather drifted down from out of nowhere. Dawn stopped and reached out for the feather. She felt as though it was a feather from heaven, Zoey saying to her, “Mother, I am all right! I love you!”

The graveside funeral service touched on the feather message from heaven and all of gathered there found a measure of comfort and peace.

At the time I was a volunteer for the Garden of Innocence, an organization dedicated to the dignified burial of abandoned babies. (Ref: www.gardenofinnocence.org and “The Garden of Innocence – God’s Plan for Me” Post of September 2015)

At one point during the Garden of Innocence services, the babies were honored as a new arrival to the Garden. This was done with the release of a white dove for the new baby and then three doves released one each for the three persons of the Trinity. After these doves were released, volunteers read the names of all the other babies previously honored in the Garden. Finally two large baskets full of white doves were opened and the air was filled with the din of flapping wings as the large group of beautiful white birds took to the air in flight.

On Saturday morning August 10th, with the experience of the previous day with Zoey on our minds, Carol and I went to the Garden of Innocence funeral service for Baby George. My part in the program of events was to lead the dove release ceremony.

The service began as usual with the Circle of Love. The Knights of Columbus in their full regalia marched up to the Garden carrying Baby George’s casket.

The casket was passed from one person to the next in a Circle of Love created by those attending the ceremony. Finally the casket was placed on a table and adorned with some flowers. Songs were offered up, a poem was read and a sermon rendered by a visiting minister. The casket was placed in the grave and rose petals were strewn into the grave by the assembled volunteers and visitors. The dove ceremony followed.

The dove ceremony was about to commence when Carol prayed and asked God if He would grant our dear Zoey to reach out to Baby George, take his hand and welcome him. She reluctantly asked too, if He agreed, to send some kind of message.

I took the microphone, introduced the dove program and said, “We now release a dove for Baby George.”

As the volunteer holding Baby George’s dove opened her hands, the dove took flight, flying around in an ever widening circle before rising up through the trees. Carol along with all those assembled watched the dove’s ascent. Suddenly, a large white feather fell from the dove and drifted earthward between the tree branches. Slowly the feather spiraled downward in a haphazard random path. The master of ceremonies was standing in the midst of the Garden and lifted her hand as if to catch it. Surprisingly, it found its way right into her outstretched hand.

Carol was astounded, as she saw this as Zoey’s message to say she was taking care of Baby George. She couldn’t contain her excitement. Before I could continue the ceremony she ran to tell me what had just transpired. She urged me to tell everyone the story. I agreed that this amazing story had to be told and right then and there.

I addressed the Garden Family and explained in detail how the big white feather that fell from Baby George’s dove had special significance. As I concluded, the master of ceremonies walked over to me and gave me the feather. She asked that I give it to Zoey’s mother in memory of Zoey’s volunteer work for the Garden’s babies.

Zoey

I continued the dove ceremony releasing doves for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The volunteers read the names of the 125 children already in the Garden. When the last name was read the rest of the doves were released.

The Doves Released for All the Babies in the Garden of Innocence

When the ceremony concluded, people came to me, many with tears, thanking me for sharing the awesome experience we had in the Garden that day. Then Joe, the man who provided the doves, came to me and said that it was the first time he saw a dove lose such a large feather at the Garden. Many of the volunteers who had witnessed previous funerals at the Garden reiterated Joe’s comment that such a feather display had never been seen before.

When I arrived home I immediately called Zoey’s mother and related the extraordinary events that transpired that morning in the Garden of Innocence with her daughter. I explained that I had the feather for her as a keepsake of the wonderful message from heaven from Zoey.

Throughout the rest of that day, I marveled at what lengths God had gone to give us such a profound experience. I was thrilled to have added to Dawn a measure of comfort in the wake of the loss of her daughter.

TURNING POINT:

Sometimes God decides that a miracle is in order to teach us some important message with profound consequences for our future. At the moment we experience the miracle, or an unusually strange series of events that challenge our understanding, we wonder what its purpose is and what we are to take from it. Over time, experience reveals its purpose and understanding is made complete.