Becoming a Master Student – Page 6 – The Turning Points of Life

The Bird’s Funeral

As our son Randy was growing up, we taught him to pray at meal times. I would pray and then he would pray. We prayed not only offering thanksgiving for the food but also asking for a blessing upon it followed by a plea for those we knew who faced some difficult situations. On Sundays and Wednesday evenings Randy accompanied us to church where I served as a lay minister. He witnessed me serving and experienced our family serving others. When visitors came to our church services, we had them come to our home for a meal and conversation. So this story about Randy was not a real surprise to us considering his being raised in a home where a culture of serving others existed.

An only child, Randy found it necessary to make friends with all the children in the neighborhood. He mastered the art of building friendships evidenced by the respect his friends showed him. They saw Randy was their leader. Often when we came home from a brief trip, a half a dozen or more youngsters were sitting on the curb in front of our house waiting for Randy to return. He was the one to lead them on their daily adventures. He was very successful at it because they all kept coming back for more.

One Saturday morning I went out into our backyard prior to our planned shopping trip. I discovered a dead bird lying on the patio floor just below our large picture window. The bird had apparently flown into the window and broke its neck. Not wanting to delay our departure, I didn’t mention my discovery to Randy until we got home.
Returning later that morning from our shopping, I parked our car into the driveway. When we exited the car we were greeted with a united chorus from the assembled crowd of children at the curb, “Can Randy come out to play?”
With the news of the dead bird, Randy rounded up his friends and immediately made a bee line for the back yard patio.

Carol and I emptied the car of the morning purchases and I promptly left again as I had another errand to run. I didn’t discover what happened with the deceased bird until I returned home a few hours later. Then Carol told me the rest of the story as she filled me in on what transpired.

When Randy and his friends found the dead bird, he immediately hatched a plan. Randy asked his mother if she had a small box. As it turned out we had a small rectangular wooden box from a block of cheese we had previously purchased. Carol was saving it for some undefined use, so she thought this was as good a use as any.

Randy now needed some linen and cotton to line the box. Carol supplied these by giving him an old handkerchief of mine and some cotton balls. Randy organized a team effort with his friends to fashion a coffin from these materials. They lined the box with the handkerchief and cushioned it with the cotton.

Once finished, the bird was gently laid in the makeshift casket. They placed the open casket in Randy’s little red wagon. The lid to the box was laid next to it. Randy now asked the girls to pick some flowers from the garden to decorate the casket and wagon. A potpourri of flowers was laid in the wagon surrounding the casket. The funeral procession was now ready to begin.

The entourage of mourners marched around the neighborhood in single file. Randy pulled the wagon with the line of children following in single file, all heads bowed in serious sadness and silent dirge. For the neighbors, it must have been quite a sight with the parade of solemn little four to six year old children following a red wagon filled with flowers surrounding an open casket.

After circuiting the neighborhood the procession returned to our backyard. Randy retrieved a small shovel from our shed and found a place in Carol’s flower garden to dig the grave. The dirt in our yard was not conducive to easy digging as it was made mostly of clay and rocks with only a six inch covering of topsoil. Randy began earnestly to dig, but once he hit the clay, the effort to dig deeper became significantly difficult. When he got to about twelve inches deep it got so difficult Randy was prompted to consult with his mother once again.

“Mom,” he said, “does the grave really have to be six feet deep?”

Carol replied, “Randy, for the bird it only has to be twelve inches deep.”

Dilemma solved, the grave was now ready to receive its occupant. But one more thing needed to be done. Randy asked his mother for the family Bible.

The funeral scene was now fully prepared and ready. Randy, holding the Bible in his hands, presented to the assembled congregation of friends a brief funeral sermon and eulogy for the bird. After a short but heartfelt prayer, he placed the lid on the box and secured it. Gently laying the casket into the grave, the children took turns throwing dirt into the grave.

With the grave covered and strewn with flowers, the kids went out to the front of the house to continue their play.

Soon Randy’s friend Tommy came home. He was out with his parents and missed the whole funeral and burial experience. All of Randy’s pals excitedly told Tommy in great detail the funeral they had for the dead bird. Filled with shock and disappointment, Tommy immediately began to cry and sob uncontrollably. He stood shaking with tears flowing down his cheeks. It was just too much to have missed for this six year old lad.

Randy couldn’t bear to see his good friend Tommy so distraught. He put his arm around Tommy and calmly assured him, “Don’t cry Tommy, we’ll do the funeral all over again!”

So out came the wagon and shovel and the bird’s casket was carefully exhumed. Placed in the wagon with the flowers the process in its entirety was repeated for Tommy’s benefit. That little bird was blessed with not one but two funerals!

Turning Points

What touched me about this experience was Randy’s compassion and sensitivity to Tommy’s feelings. His immediate resolution of the situation was impressive. He obviously learned a lot of details from witnessing funerals that I had conducted. Randy’s love of animals prompted him to provide a dignified burial for this dead stranger that lost its life in our yard. Randy’s character, his sensitivity to the feelings of others, knowing he could make a difference, and respecting life of the animals he loved would serve him well throughout his life.

A turning point for me was a deeper realization that how parents live and act has a powerful and effective influence on the character of their children. As the old adage states, “actions speak louder than words.” A parent may not realize it at the moment, but their conduct is a significant factor in the life of their children.

Math Teacher Philosophy

In my four years at Garfield High School, I took specific mathematics classes to prepare myself for studying engineering in college. My first year I had Algebra I. The second year I had two math classes, Algebra II and Geometry. The third year Solid Geometry-Trigonometry combined into one class. My final year I studied Calculus.

My Solid Geometry-Trigonometry class was taught by Mr. Peter Hubiak, a seasoned mathematics teacher who came with a well known reputation for strictness.

Mr. Peter Hubiak

Mr. Hubiak was a real character. Most of the students teased him behind his back because of his idiosyncrasies. He always seemed to have chalk stains on his suit jacket and a perpetual bulge of pens and pencils in his breast pocket that threatened to burst the pocket’s seams. The careful observer of details discovered soup stains on his tie and even on the front of some of his shirts peeking out from the edges of the lapels of his suit jacket. He was one of the oldest teachers on the staff. In fact, he was really old in my view because he had taught my parents!

Mr. Hubiak turned out to be a harbinger of wisdom that went beyond his expert teaching of solid geometry and trigonometry. He frequently philosophized during class. He would preach wisdom that stuck with me, probably because under the teenage critique of him there lay a certain measure of profound respect. His germs of wisdom took root in me and over time saved me from many potential losses both financially and career wise.

One of his philosophical offerings was his statement, “You can’t get something for nothing.”

That may sound simple and maybe even trivial, by many a time in life a prospect that seemed too good to be true tempted me to invest my resources. Then his words echoed in my mind and I resisted the temptation. Future events revealed how that little impulse saved me from serious financial losses. To this day I am grateful for Mr. Hubiak’s persistent preaching to us as teenagers.

Another offering was this suggestion that applied, as I later in life discovered, not only to solving mathematical problems but life problems as well.

He said, “When you are facing problems and situations that seem to overwhelm you, stop and go back to basic principles. Apply them and the solution will reveal itself.”

One of the most important turning points for me came with this “Hubiak-ism” as a key element. At a critical moment in my engineering career, when I was severely challenged, my God reminded me of this precious gem of wisdom from my teacher. It lay dormant in the crevices of my mind and was resurrected with meticulous timing to make a huge difference in facing a seemingly overwhelming challenge. [Refer to the story titled “It Doesn’t Work – Fix It” to see how this simple but profound solution evolved into a big professional success.]

Turning Point

The realization that wisdom can come from the least expected people who come into our life unexpectedly is a true turning point. It reveals the understanding that God can and will use anyone to fulfill His purpose for us. We just need to position ourselves to be extricated from our prejudices, judgments and fears so we are open to the blessings that can flow from these unexpected sources. Turning point phrases also find application beyond the obvious, as I have discovered in the spiritual part of life when resorting to “basic principles” as simply asking God through heartfelt prayer.

APPRECIATION

I have a fascination for words and their meanings. Some very potent words are seldom used but carry great meaning and implications. Other words are used frequently but have lost the full scope of their meaning because we don’t give them a second thought. We become satisfied with an incomplete understanding of what they convey.

When I prepare for any sermon or presentation, I often consult the dictionary to gain an understanding of a specific word in order to embrace the full scope of its meaning. I have an excellent resource in my old college dictionary that always seems to provide a wider scope for explaining the meaning of words in greater depth than some other resources.

Years ago, investigating the meaning of the word “appreciation” I initially found the following:
“the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value”

I found myself dissatisfied with this meaning so I resorted to my old college dictionary. There I found this:
“the exercise of wise judgment, delicate perception, and keen insight in realizing the worth of something”

I began to dissect this meaning as the implication of the description fascinated me. As I investigated each component I found that some additions were apropos. After sometime of deliberation I settled on the following:
“the exercise of wise judgment, delicate perception, keen insight and sensitive awareness in realizing the worth or value of something or someone”

I then began to further my study by analyzing each word or phrase. I found the following to be true and worthwhile in understanding what appreciation really means.

Exercise is the putting forth of effort by me for my benefit. Exercise requires deliberate action on my part often requiring sacrifice and painful exertion to accomplish the task for which it is rendered.

Wise judgment is my evaluation that employs my cache of knowledge. When I exercise wise judgment, I engage my knowledge of the relevant subject under study, and add to it my comprehension of that subject and complete it with my understanding of its implications. I am then positioned to make a valid judgment.

Delicate perception is the view I have when my vision is based on my observation of the finer points. Here, I look not at the big picture, but rather focus deliberately on the finest details of my subject. I question what I see with the intention of looking deeper to find even greater detail. This allows me to find treasures that the casual observer may overlook.

Keen insight implies that the sharpness of my investigation is cutting deep and looking under the surface beyond the obvious. With the thought that nothing is ever what it appears to be, keen insight instigates the deeper exploration below the visible surface. It provides an understanding of what is at work creating what is seen in the open.

Sensitive awareness is the faculty to use all my senses to be aware, touched and moved. With this talent, I am equipped to see the peripherals that enhance or detract from the subject under consideration and make adjustments to my perspective appropriately.

Realizing the worth or value is making the treasure real to me. When the four exercises above are completed and fully engaged, worth and values are not merely known but they are real and possessed.

Something or someone indicates that appreciation applies to material things and people. When we consider this expansion to people we can understand a spiritual component to appreciation’s meaning. The crowning of appreciation then is when we truly appreciate our God and all the goodness that flows from Him to me.

The Turning Point
Since this in depth understanding of appreciation became clear to me, I found myself finding deep appreciation for the things I have and the people in my life. These truly have become greater in value and worth than ever before. A fascinating result of continued conscious and deliberate exercise of appreciation’s four sources, the more we value what we have in our possession.