Refueling The Soul – Page 9 – The Turning Points of Life

Harold’s Story – A Powerful Life Lesson

In 2007 I was serving as a minister in the New Apostolic Church with the office of evangelist. I was responsible for caring for two congregations in the San Diego area when I was given the mission of caring for a third congregation located in Anaheim.

After a few months serving in Anaheim on Sundays, I wanted to make an effort to grow even closer to this new congregation. To accomplish that, I scheduled myself to serve the congregation on a midweek evening service. This plan required an earlier than usual departure from home due to traditional traffic conditions on the trip from San Diego to Orange County.

On Tuesday prior to my journey, I received a call from our priest in the Anaheim congregation. He advised me that a member named Harold Haase, who had not attended services for many years, was near death due to a severe illness. He asked if I wanted to take the opportunity to visit this man in the hospital prior to the service on Wednesday. When I heard his name I was moved to answer in the affirmative. I knew this man’s family very well, though had never met him. I especially wanted to visit Harold because his name indicated he was from my home town, Garfield, New Jersey and considering his age of 79, most likely knew my parents.

Early Wednesday afternoon I took to the road wending my way through heavy traffic northward on Interstate 5 toward Los Angeles. I wondered what to expect when I met Harold. I prayed that in some way I would be a blessing for him and that my visit would make a difference. I easily found the freeway exit. From there it was just a brief drive to the hospital.

I parked my car in the hospital parking area, but before leaving the car I prayed again and sought the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I really did not know what to expect meeting Harold especially considering his physical condition. Even though I knew his twin brother John and another brother Henry, I was not aware of Harold’s existence or the circumstances surrounding his estrangement from the church.

I knew Harold’s brother John because some years before I was caring for a small mission congregation in Mission Viejo where John regularly attended. I got to know John quite well, but he never mentioned that he had a twin brother.

I also knew Harold’s brother, Henry, because he and his wife Ethel attended our Vista congregation form time to time. Henry and I had a deep friendship partly due to our roots in New Jersey and his knowledge of all my family there.

After my prayer, I exited the car and made my way to Harold’s room. I entered the room clad in my black suit white shirt and black tie. I greeted him like a long lost friend, “Harold!”

He looked at me surprised and responded, “Who are you?”

I answered, “I am Allan Musterer.”

Quickly and excitedly he said, “Sampson Street? Garfield, New Jersey Musterer?”

I said, “Yes, I am Eddie’s eldest son.”

Still excited he said, “You’re Eddie’s son! What are you doing here?”

I said, “I am a minister in the New Apostolic Church. As you are a member of the spiritual family, I felt compelled to visit you considering your terminal illness and imminent passing.”

Harold rather forcefully responded, “Let me tell you why I don’t come to church, and haven’t done so for all these years.”

With that pronouncement, Harold proceeded to tell me his story.

When Harold was about 7 or 8 years old, he and his family lived in Garfield, New Jersey on the same street as many of our church families including many of my family. He and his brothers often went to play at the Pump House, the nickname kids gave to Dahnert’s Lake, a large pond at the end of the street. One Saturday Harold and his brothers were doing just that when some bullies came by and gave the boys a hard time. One of them started pushing Harold around and pushed him into the pond at the deepest end. Since none of the boys could swim, Harold floundered and quickly submerged not once but twice. Gripped in fear of death as he went under the second time, Harold believed he would never come up again.

Harold’s twin brother John at their house on Sampson Street early 2000’s

As Harold related this part of his story, I found myself feeling very close to him. I pictured this incident he described clearly because years after Harold’s days there, I lived just a few blocks away from where Harold did. I too played at the Pump House all year round, so I was able to relate to his story with familiarity and empathy.

The “Pump House” in Garfield, New Jersey

Harold continued his story.

Since none of the boys could swim, it was fortunate an adult nearby saw what was happening and ran to rescue Harold. He successfully pulled Harold from the water and saved his life. A grateful Harold, wet and dirty, shook and trembled in fear as he stood surrounded by his brothers. The man who rescued him urged him to return home immediately so he could get dry and cleaned up.

Still rattled by his near death trauma Harold ran home with his brothers. As they travelled homeward, Harold thought, “When I get home my mother is going to be so happy that I didn’t drown she’s going to welcome me with open arms and a motherly hug.”

Harold’s parents were more financially endowed than the other church members. They were a joyfully generous family and invited families from church for Saturday dinner and Sunday lunch. Such was the case this particular Saturday. Harold’s mother was busily preparing Saturday’s dinner in the kitchen while the boys were out playing.

Harold reached home with high expectations of his mother’s warm welcome, considering the harrowing experience he suffered facing death by drowning just moments before. To Harold’s surprise, when his mother saw him all wet and dirty, she immediately reprimanded him and sent him to the bathroom to wash up and get dressed. After all, they were having guests for dinner very soon and she had work to do. Without another word she immediately went back to work preparing the evening meal.

Harold was shattered. He felt unloved, blaming his mother for not hugging him and welcoming him home. He blamed the church because his mother seemed to love the members more than him. He made up his mind that as soon as he was old enough, he was leaving family and church behind and going alone into the world.

The unfolding story gripped my senses; I silently prayed and asked my heavenly Father, “Please give me something positive to say to Harold, considering his experience and his near term death?”

I listened intently as Harold finished his story. He was exhausted and gazed teary eyed and expectantly into my eyes. I began speaking words that surely were heaven sent, for I spoke of things I did not know.

I said, “Harold! Consider this: Your whole adult life has been a long series of joyfully generous help and support for those who were in need, those who you helped. Someone came to you out of work and you gave them a job. Someone was living with their family in their car and you put them into a motel till they regained their footing. Another was about to lose their house and you made a mortgage payment. They all were in need of work, of money, of health, of encouragement. People who came into your life with needs and you stepped up and graciously and effectively fulfilled them! The pain of your disappointment in childhood created a heart of generous charity. You became what your mother and father lived! What a wonderful example your life has become! To all those people you were a blessing.”

Harold sat there in his bed, eyes wide open, mouth agape.

“Wow!” he exclaimed, “I never saw it that way!”

The tears rolled down his face as I stood there surprised at what I had just said. I had no knowledge of his life after his story ended.

I said, “Harold, would you like to pray together? I can pronounce to you the Absolution and we can celebrate Holy Communion together if you would like.”

He said, “Really? We can do that?”

I said, “Yes we can.”

Graciously he accepted my offer.

I prayed a short prayer and then together Harold and I prayed the Lord’s Prayer. I pronounced the Absolution, consecrated the elements and we celebrated Holy Communion. I offered the benediction and thanked God for the experience we shared.

We spoke a while afterward and I prayed with Harold one last time before I left.

A few days later, the priest from Anaheim visited Harold. He asked the priest to conduct his funeral service. Shortly thereafter Harold passed on. The priest conducted the funeral a few days after Harold passed on.

After the funeral the priest called me with an amazing story. He said that following Harold’s funeral service, all manner of people who attended testified of how Harold saved them from the tragic circumstances of their life. Each explained details matching those I had enumerated to Harold in his hospital room that Wednesday afternoon. What a testimony of the truth of my words to Harold in response to his story. Surely it was God who answered my prayer and Harold’s need to reconcile.

Turning Point

Reflecting on this experience, I realized how devastating a misunderstanding can be on the life of a child. Harold was shattered by a misunderstanding. His mother had no idea what trauma her son had suffered; neither did she know his expectations. Her conduct was not a deliberate act to cause her son pain or disappointment. Harold never said a word to his mother until many years later, carrying the cross of misunderstanding for years. Years of pent up anger were suffered before he reconciled with his mother.

We can see how such disappointing moments can cause deep hurt. But a different view, in this case only in long distance retrospect, can show that even painful moments can have a significant blessing on one’s life. Harold’s life became defined by the pain of his disappointment and caused him to reject family and church. Yet, his character was defined by this moment and he became a gracious, kindhearted and sensitive man. He was a real blessing to many people and families.

There are circumstances that may not allow for us to replace a misunderstanding with understanding. Sometimes the situation cannot be resolved as with Harold and his mother. My turning point was the realization that we are better served if we learn to look past the pain of the moment, and see how the event can prove to be a blessing. Then we can leave the pain and its burden behind us and glory in the benefits of the blessing.

Zoey’s Apple Pie Miracle

In the decade of 1990’s, most of the Southeast Asian refugees who had joined our churches in the San Diego area left for California’s central valley. They settled in places like Porterville, Merced and Visalia where they helped establish numerous missions and congregations.

My ministry then moved to the care of a congregation in El Cajon, California. There I developed a special relationship with one of the children, a little girl named Zoey.

My connection to Zoey had a history. I had the honor of performing the wedding of her parents Greg and Dawn. I also had the privilege of giving Dawn the confinement blessing when she became pregnant with Zoey. Then I was blessed with the opportunity to perform Zoey’s Holy Baptism. These three events created a special connection. Zoey was very easy to love. She had certain sweetness about her and a personality that quickly captured my heart. Her smile was irresistible.

While Dawn was working, her mother Daylene cared for Zoey. It was always a special day for Zoey being cared for by her grandmother. Daylene always had some creative activity in store for Zoey when they were together. One of Daylene’s special talents was sewing, and creating unique clothes. Zoey was a benefactor of that talent along with the many other adventures the two shared on the days they spent together.

Exploring the yard around Daylene’s home in El Cajon was one of Zoey’s favorite activities. They revealed many creatures that fascinated Zoey’s young inquisitive mind. These were turning point moments for Zoey that created a love and fascination for God’s creatures. When Zoey grew older she had many interesting pets and set her sights on becoming a veterinarian.

Daylene’s creative talent and artistic pursuits allowed her creativity to flourish and naturally became a positive influence on young Zoey.

One particular day Daylene’s project was for her and Zoey to bake apple pies. The whole process from finding the recipe to gathering and preparing the ingredients was carefully followed by grandmother and granddaughter. For Zoey it was a new experience but one that would have unexpected and potentially tragic consequences.

The crust was fashioned in the pie pans and the apples were sliced just to the right shape and thickness. The sauce was assembled and the filling was carefully poured into the crust. Then the covering crust was placed on top. Prior to completing the assembly of the pie, the oven was adjusted to the proper settings and temperature and turned on. The completed pies were placed in the oven.
While the pies were in the oven Dawn arrived to pick up Zoey to take her home. After a few welcoming hugs, the moment came to check on the pies. When the oven was opened, one of them exploded and hot apple sauce flew out all over Zoey’s face!

Immediately Dawn embraced her daughter and reached for a wet dish cloth from the kitchen counter. She put it over Zoey’s red and scalded face. After a few moments she removed it, and to her great relief she saw Zoey’s face showing no evidence of the terrifying event. No blisters, no redness, nothing, as if the flying hot apple pie filling never happened.

A grateful mother and grandmother thanked God for this amazing miracle. Then Dawn called me to share the happy outcome. I joined the three of them thanking and praising God for His gracious miracle and the protection He provided for this special little girl.

Turning Points

Aside from the obvious turning points this experience reveals for Zoey, it was also a turning point for me. As the minister caring for the congregation family, daily prayers for them was a part of my joyful serving. An event as this justified the importance and revealed the consequences of prayerful intercession for those I loved and served. Once again there was reinforcement of Solomon’s Recipe (See “Solomon’s Recipe” posted March 2015) and it’s guidance to “trust in the Lord” and “in all things acknowledge Him”.

When we can experience the blessing of a faithful prayer answered in ways that go beyond human explanation, a profoundly grateful heart is edified. A grateful soul is a happy soul.

The Sermon to Sleep Through

In my youth, I suffered as most from an intense fear of speaking in front of a group of people. The worst week of the year was the second week of December when our Sunday school had a Christmas program on the second Sunday evening. The program consisted of each of the Sunday school children reciting a poem from memory in front of the 300 church members. I spent the week before the program in agonizing fear and trepidation.

In elementary school I had to orally present book reports in front of the class. Those experiences were also very traumatic for me.

These fears created in me a deep respect for my teachers and the ministers in church because they had overcome that fear which I believed they also had to battle. For them it was a battle they had won and I had yet to master. In my youth, I could not yet imagine being successful in that battle.

My Church in Clifton, NJ

One Sunday evening when I was in my early teens, I attended a church service with my parents and younger brother. We arrived at church and my father parked our car in the church parking lot that was located in the back of the church.

Just as we arrived, the minister who was to conduct the service was just exiting his car. He walked toward the church and on the way greeted four men who were standing at the end of the parking lot. They were about the same age as my father. The minister was about twenty feet ahead of me on his way to the entry of the rectory.

As I passed by the four men I overheard one of them say to the others, “Well, I guess we can sleep though this one.”

These words pierced me deeply. It hurt me because I had such great respect for this minister. He was able to do what I never dreamed I would ever be able to do; speak in front of a large group. These men seemed to only judge the quality of his delivery and its content, but disregarded his courageous efforts to overcome the fear of speaking to a crowd.

I entered the church as never before. My mind was set on a personal mission. I was going to get so much out of the service that it would make whatever sacrifice the minister made that evening to serve the congregation worthwhile .

I marched into church, passed the offering box and emptied my pocket with all the money I had. It was probably seventy five cents, fifty cents more than my usual offering. Then I made straight for my seat next to my cousin just behind the choir.

Seated, I bowed my head prayed like never before. I pleaded sincerely with God to help me extract from the service so much as to make the efforts of the minister worthwhile, even if no one else in the whole congregation got anything from the service.

The service soon commenced and the minister began the sermon. The more it progressed the more disappointed I became. The minister, an immigrant from Europe, had a mild accent, spoke in a monotone and used a rather limited vocabulary. On top of that his grammar left much to be desired. But what troubled me was that he never seemed to complete a thought. One by one he would raise a thoughtful statement and suddenly drop it and go on to another. I couldn’t get anything that I could reasonably say made sense of any of it.

Anger seethed in me. After all I did that I thought would ensure a positive outcome, offering all I had, praying sincerely, I now had to face failing the minister. Worse was the sense that I was seemingly justifying the attitude of those four men.

When the service was over, I was filled with deep disappointment, anger and betrayal. I immediately left the church. I ran to the parking lot and got into the back seat of our car.

When my brother and parents entered the car soon after I did. My mother knew something was wrong. I politely repelled her inquiry as to what was wrong. When we returned home, I went right to bed, skipping dinner with the family.

In bed I railed against God, rebuking Him for failing my humble, sincere and noble request. I was so sure that what I attempted to do was so right. Why did my God not respond? After some time of ranting silently in my prayer of frustration, I lay there in silence and calm, exhausted by the experience.

In the silence, I suddenly heard again the first of the many “thoughts” raised in the sermon but dropped by the minister. This time, however, the thought continued to evolve through to its completion. I lay there in awe as I processed the amazing result. As soon as I realized this explanation and a new understanding entered my soul, the next thought from the sermon came to mind.

Just as with the first, this next thought continued on to a revealing conclusion. The revelation of these developed thoughts from the sermon profoundly touched my soul. I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving, but did not yet realize what a turning point this would prove to be for me.

The next day, and for some days thereafter, as I walked to school another of the sermon’s thoughts arose in my mind. Just as they did that Sunday night in my bed, they continued through to a glorious conclusion.

It took some time for me to realize what I had learned by this experience and to fully appreciate the turning point that it was for me and my future life experiences.

Turning Point

As the years unfolded, I discovered the turning point that this experience was and the treasure it became for my life. These are some of the treasures that came out of this turning point:
• When I attended service from this point on, I was able to gain great value even when the quality of the delivery by a minister was not perfect. I learned that my work with God and His Spirit came not only during but after the sermon in the time I gave Him to guide and inspire my thoughts.
• When I attended college, there was no church of my denomination within reasonable distance for me to attend. Visiting the local churches in the small college town, though interesting, did not fulfill my spiritual hunger. Equipped with the knowledge and understanding afforded by this experience, I was able to gain spiritual sustenance from transcripts of divine services in our church that were sent to me. I would spend hours on Sunday mornings studying those transcripts, a fact that surprised even me. However, through the preparation provided from my turning point, I gained understanding, confidence and strength in my pursuit of spiritual maturity.
• Years later when I was a minister, I was able to use this experience relating it to a family who had trouble accepting a particular minister who served them in their congregation. It proved to provide them a different perspective that helped them maintain their spiritual compass. (After that evening, I realized that I had never forgiven those four men for their attitude. I understood that God had used their weakness to bless me with a life lesson that required their participation. I sat in my car that night and prayed, seeking their forgiveness as they were all deceased by that time)
• Some years later, the highest minister in our church was quoted as saying, “No divine service is a matter of course; each is extraordinary.” In light of my turning point experience I realized there are three parts to the sermon, God’s input as creator, the minister’s input as the conveyor, and my “input” as the listener. God’s part is always extraordinary and perfect. The minister’s not always extraordinary or perfect. But I have the opportunity to make mine extraordinary if I am willing to seek and give the Holy Spirit time to guide me and reveal even what wasn’t said in the sermon.

The Rainbow

My wife and I were vacationing on the garden island of Kauai, the oldest island in the Hawaiian chain. During one of our excursions around the island we came to a famous waterfall site. Standing along the outlook area, we witnessed a truly awesome and unusually vivid rainbow created by the huge mist cloud over the falls. Carol and I marveled at the sight. We couldn’t contain our feelings and openly remarked of its great beauty to each other. The other visitors at the site agreed with our assessment.

After a few minutes, an elderly couple arrived on the scene and stood in ear shot of us. The woman standing closer to the falls than her husband gazed at the sight. Her husband lingered seemingly disinterested a few feet away. His position did not afford a very clear view of the falls. The woman, clearly seeing what the rest of us had, was obviously overwhelmed at the vivid rainbow. She exclaimed so all could hear, “WOW, honey, just look at that rainbow!”

Her husband, standing at distance away from her retorted, “What rainbow! There’s no rainbow! You’re seeing things again!”

The woman persisted, but her husband remained adamant as the interchange between them became rather heated.

I walked over to the couple and as I approached, their argument became muted. The woman was obviously embarrassed. It dawned on her that others had heard the heated conversation.

I addressed the husband: “Hello! Are you enjoying these beautiful sights? Isn’t this one amazing waterfall?”

He replied hesitatingly, “Well, I’ve seen bigger ones!”

I invited him to step closer to where his wife was standing so as to get a little better view. To entice him I pointed out something on the ground just adjacent to his wife. He walked with some reluctance to where I was pointing, looked down and said to me, “What? Is this some kind of joke? There’s nothing here.”

Then he looked up and saw the rainbow. Now at the same vantage point as his wife he suddenly exclaimed:”WOW! Honey, you are right! There is a fabulous rainbow!”

Turning Point

Sometimes we only need to move a few feet to see what others are seeing and experienced a turning point. All too often, we refuse to budge from our position and remain in ignorance of what is really around us. Our position depends on our disposition. The implication in view of the rainbow is “change your position” and SEE

Faith in a Nutshell

One of my friends at church was collaborating with ministers from other congregations in our area, exploring how someone can impact another person spiritually when they only have a brief moment to convey some powerful aspect of their faith. The purpose was to discover a way to equip the church family with a simple phrase that encompassed the essence of their faith in a positive non-offensive manner. The phrase or sentence needed to be very personal so that its delivery was natural, the profession convincing and hopefully inspiring further inquiry.

For want of a better term, I considered their idea in the common phrase to describe something great in as few words as possible, i.e. “in a nutshell”.

When the notion of a brief phrase was expressed to me I saw it as a challenge. I was not known for brevity in expressing deep spiritual concepts. Being trained to think like an engineer, I was detail oriented in thought and hence in expression. So “in a nutshell” was a real challenge for me.

As I considered what my faith meant to me I revisited my faith based experiences. In retroactive self-discovery, I uncovered a myriad of experiences that shaped my life. These were the turning points that changed me forever.

As an example, I recalled a moment when someone, while conversing with me about spirituality, asked me this question: “In a few words, what is the first thing that comes to your mind that benefited you by going to your church?”

Immediately I said, “I learned to revere and respect my elders.”

Asked to elaborate, I said, “As a little boy, my mother taught me to go to the front row of pews immediately when a church service was ended and greet all the elderly ladies that sat in the front row. Some of these elderly ladies were widows, and some were my relatives. In fact, one was my one and only surviving grandmother, my Oma, and another was my aunt Frieda.”

Allan

Oma

Aunt Frieda

In retrospect, I firmly believe and am convinced that this simple teaching gave me a sense of respect for my elders. This aspect of my character served me very well throughout my life. The elders who guided, coached and mentored me blessed me in uncountable ways.

Faced with the self imposed challenge of reducing the many benefits my faith afforded me over my lifetime, I set out to boil them down to as few words as possible. Numerous iterations were created and discarded for various reasons. I wanted my “nutshell” to be profound without being intimidating. I needed it to convey a powerful benefit that would inspire further investigation. I wanted it to be unique and not some typical tired old standard Christian cliché.

After working and praying over the many thoughts and notions that crossed my mind, I came up with the following as my expression of what my faith means to me in just a few words:
“My church environment has opened profound experiences with God, positively changing and enhancing my life. The resulting personal growth is my treasure and it can be for you too!”

Every entry into my church brings new understanding and new revelations. It is such that causes me to enter God’s sanctuary every chance I get.

There is a fascinating story in the Psalms that testifies to what I have found in attending church services. It is the 73rd Psalm and it tells the story of a man named Asaph.

Asaph was troubled by the fact that so many of his contemporaries were deceitful and downright evil, yet to him they seemed to prosper more than he. He became frustrated while doing his best to fulfill the laws of God and yet seemed to be unsuccessful. This weighed heavy on his soul as he lamented his case before God.

Then he had his turning point.

He confessed his misery saying, “When I tried to understand this, it was too painful for me”.

But then came the point of turning as he said, “Until I went into the Sanctuary of God; then I understood. . . .”

I can’t count the number of times I entered the sanctuary of God with the same feelings as Asaph, and left the house of God with that same sense, now I understand. With understanding came strength, comfort and peace; spiritual stamina to stay the course.

Turning Points

A simple exercise focused on an important aspect of our life can transform our awareness of aspects previously buried and out of sight and mind. Such awareness allows one to make wise decisions that will impact the future.

Reliving our life experiences has the effect of seeing our own “big picture” and making us a more grateful person. Grateful souls seem to have a blessed peace about them.

Seeing the value of the encounters we can have in the sanctuary of God brings us there time and again even when faced with various forms of resistance. Turning point moments are experienced there more than we might expect.

FRIENDS

Years ago I found myself dissatisfied with what seemed to me a lack of deeper understanding of the meaning of words we use every day in our conversation. This meant missing out on fully appreciating what we say and what we hear, underestimating meaning and losing something valuable.

One of those words was “appreciation” and I delved into it studying its fuller meaning and how it impacted me. (See my Post “Appreciation” June 2015) In that process, I gained an understanding that spread across many aspects of life.

Another one of those interesting words is “friend”. I remember mentioning to someone that they were my friend and their retort was, “You mean I am just a friend?”

What struck me was that this person did not appreciate what it meant to be considered a friend. To their understanding, a friend was something less than what I believed and understood a friend to be. I began my investigation.

I started with the dictionary and uncovered this:
Friend = one attached to another by feelings of personal regard; a well-wisher, patron or supporter; one who is on good terms with another.

A good start be still not very satisfying I went to the Bible to get a better sense of what more could be attributed to the meaning of “friend”.

In a statement by Jesus I found something quite interesting. In the Gospel of John, I read,
John 15:13-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

When Jesus made a special note to teach His disciples a meaning for being His friends, I realized that to Jesus a friend was quite special. Special to me was that He saw one as willing to give his very life for a friend! That really touched me. The very ultimate sacrifice was worthy of a friend. Jesus went further to classify those who loved and followed Him as His friends, in other words, those who He was willing to die for! He didn’t stop there when He went so far as to give them every gift from His Father that He had received.

I decided I would go even further in my study to see if there was more to be learned. It was then that I came upon a passage from the seldom read books of what is called the Apocrypha. There I found a very encompassing meaning for “friend” from what is often attributed to Solomon.

Faithful Friends are secure shelters & strong defenses;
Who finds such has found excellent treasures.
Faithful Friends are beyond price;
Their Excellency & worth more than money can buy.
Faithful Friends are elixirs, medicines for life;
Those who love & fear the Lord our God find them.
[Liberally translated/paraphrased from Ecclesiasticus 6:14-16]

When I read the phrases: “excellent treasures”, “beyond price”, “worth more than money can buy”, and “elixirs, medicines for life” I finally found satisfaction that I had embraced and understood what a true friend really meant. I also noted that in this passage, “friends” were described as “faithful” indicating that the notion of “friend” can be compromised by the evil one to create doubt and unbelief. Faithful Friends are true friends, not those who attempt to use the friendship for ulterior motives.

Turning Point

A turning point is often inspired by a sense of dissatisfaction with something we experience and one is prompted to dig beyond the obvious and search for value. It is in this search that treasures are discovered and obtained, seeming little things that become big influences on who we become. It fascinates me how such little moments guided by the Holy Spirit build in us treasures of great value.

Make-A-Wish and the Hands of God

My very dear friend Dawn’s teenage daughter Zoey was in her 22nd week battling for her life against the ravages of leukemia. The battle was intense with significant complications that accompanied the disease. Zoey was in a local hospital with seemingly endless new issues cropping up that made her condition very tentative. The struggle with the side effects of heavy and potent medications added to the pain of the numerous complications that attacked different organs and parts of her body. Zoey was such a trooper that the story of her battle reached far and wide across the globe. Greetings of hope and encouragement flowed in from everywhere. Make-A-Wish foundation, an organization that seeks to bring joy to children facing daunting and life threatening diseases and injuries, was appraised of Zoey’s battle. Zoey was asked what her wish would be.

Zoey was an avid fan of a popular TV serial program. The story was about the challenges of the survivors of a plane crash on a seemingly deserted island. Zoey was enamored with one of the actors on the program. Her wish was to have a tea party with the actor she enjoyed.

Make-a-Wish went to work contacting the actor’s agents to see if a meeting could be arranged. After some weeks of effort, his agents notified Make-A-Wish in response to their inquiry for Zoey. He was going to send a limousine to San Diego and bring Zoey and her parents to Los Angeles. Hotel arrangements were to be made and a program that included theme parks and a tea party was planned.
Dawn was contacted and told of this plan. She consulted with the doctors regarding the plan for Zoey’s Make-A-Wish trip to Los Angeles, but was given a devastating blow. The doctors said that Zoey’s condition at the time would not support such a trip; in fact, they were convinced it would be seriously detrimental to the treatment program. Zoey’s mother was facing a real dilemma. Obviously, her first consideration was to keep her daughter on a track for the best chance for recovery. But the cost, depriving Zoey of her wish was understandably troubling.

Dawn sent me a message explaining her concerns, hoping for some guidance to help her make the right decision.

My mind went back to the recent experience I had with my marine helicopter pilot. (See “The Volunteer” post October 2015) I explained to Dawn what I learned about facing such critical decisions. The best solution when decisions seem to be beyond us is to pray and put the decision into God’s hands. Then make the best decision you feel in our heart after your prayer. If it is the right decision God will support it. If it’s the wrong decision He will change things to insure you are blessed.

Dawn followed this guidance, prayed and placed it all in the hand of God. Then she made her decision. She called Make-A-Wish and advised them of Zoey’s condition. She explained the warning of the doctors and said that regretfully Zoey could not accept the generous offer from the actor. She asked them to kindly explain this to his agents and expressed her and Zoey’s sincere thanks and appreciation.

Just a few days later, Make-A-Wish contacted Zoey’s mother, explaining that they explained the situation to the actor’s agents. But the actor asked that since she could not come to Los Angeles, can he come to San Diego. When there was a positive response to his inquiry he decided that he would come to Zoey and spend some time with her at a local tea house. Dawn was thrilled and grateful. Just as we had discussed, by placing the decision in the hand of God, He changed things by touching the heart of the actor to go out of his way to fulfill the wish of a young girl battling for her life.

Shortly thereafter the actor came to San Diego and spent the afternoon with Zoey. They spoke of their love of the TV show and the intricacies of the story and plot.

The Tea House where the Make-A-Wish was realized

Afterward he remained in touch with Zoey through e-mails. The connection between them provided Zoey with a certain measure of joy as she continued her battle with the relenting disease.

Dawn shared with me the events as they unfolded. I reflected on the critical turning point that played such an important part of this experience. How God prepared me by the previous experience I had with my Marine friend moved my soul. He equipped me with the right solution for Dawn when she sought guidance. Without the deeply memorable lesson God provided me that moment months before, I would not have had the right word at just the right time. Dawn’s faith in God and His word brought about a lesson for all of us.

Turning Point

The turning point lessons God inserts into our life are never meant as a onetime blessing. God’s plan has the character of multiplying the understanding gained from turning point moments over time. I once noted to a dear friend and my spiritual mentor that he taught me to effectively commune with the Holy Spirit. When I practiced exercising a listening heart, the Spirit inspired thoughts that proved to be a blessing for me and those I had the opportunity to serve. I told him that I often received much more from my moments with the Holy Spirit than I expected. My friend wisely advised me to see myself as a well, filled by the Spirit when I was open to Him and empty of my own ideas. The concept he taught me was that the “well” would be drawn upon at just the right moment by the Spirit to make me a conduit of God’s blessing. A turning point of this story was the profound confirmation of my mentor’s wise council.

The Feather from Heaven

I travelled an extraordinary two year journey with Dawn and Zoey and their family that began when Zoey was diagnosed with leukemia. I was on vacation in New Jersey when Dawn called me to tell me of her teenage daughter’s diagnosis. The journey was one of constant prayers, conversations and faith building experiences. Those two years brought life changing experiences to all of us who were so intimately involved in Zoey’s courageous and often miraculous engagement with the complexities of her unique condition. The feather from heaven event happened at an intersection of a series of unexpected moments and turning point experiences. They continued to this day.

On August 7, 2012 Zoey passed on having courageously battled leukemia and a series of devastating complications that accompanied the disease.

On a beautiful sunny Friday morning in August shortly after Zoey’s passing, I joined her family at a cemetery for the internment of their beloved teenage daughter. I was asked to perform the graveside funeral service. During the moments just prior to the service, Zoey’s mother confided in me and shared her experience of earlier that morning.

When Zoey was still a healthy teenager, mother and daughter would walk in the mornings into their garden. Dawn led the way swiping away the spider webs that had been spun overnight along the path. Zoey was an animal lover, but spiders were the lone members of her list of bugs that she detested. Zoey loved feathers. They were simply special to her so she collected them. On this special morning when Zoey was to be laid to rest, Dawn decided to take the morning walk alone through the garden. As she swiped the webs out of her path, deep feeling for her Zoey filled her heart. Then, when she reached the end of the garden, a beautiful feather drifted down from out of nowhere. Dawn stopped and reached out for the feather. She felt as though it was a feather from heaven, Zoey saying to her, “Mother, I am all right! I love you!”

The graveside funeral service touched on the feather message from heaven and all of gathered there found a measure of comfort and peace.

At the time I was a volunteer for the Garden of Innocence, an organization dedicated to the dignified burial of abandoned babies. (Ref: www.gardenofinnocence.org and “The Garden of Innocence – God’s Plan for Me” Post of September 2015)

At one point during the Garden of Innocence services, the babies were honored as a new arrival to the Garden. This was done with the release of a white dove for the new baby and then three doves released one each for the three persons of the Trinity. After these doves were released, volunteers read the names of all the other babies previously honored in the Garden. Finally two large baskets full of white doves were opened and the air was filled with the din of flapping wings as the large group of beautiful white birds took to the air in flight.

On Saturday morning August 10th, with the experience of the previous day with Zoey on our minds, Carol and I went to the Garden of Innocence funeral service for Baby George. My part in the program of events was to lead the dove release ceremony.

The service began as usual with the Circle of Love. The Knights of Columbus in their full regalia marched up to the Garden carrying Baby George’s casket.

The casket was passed from one person to the next in a Circle of Love created by those attending the ceremony. Finally the casket was placed on a table and adorned with some flowers. Songs were offered up, a poem was read and a sermon rendered by a visiting minister. The casket was placed in the grave and rose petals were strewn into the grave by the assembled volunteers and visitors. The dove ceremony followed.

The dove ceremony was about to commence when Carol prayed and asked God if He would grant our dear Zoey to reach out to Baby George, take his hand and welcome him. She reluctantly asked too, if He agreed, to send some kind of message.

I took the microphone, introduced the dove program and said, “We now release a dove for Baby George.”

As the volunteer holding Baby George’s dove opened her hands, the dove took flight, flying around in an ever widening circle before rising up through the trees. Carol along with all those assembled watched the dove’s ascent. Suddenly, a large white feather fell from the dove and drifted earthward between the tree branches. Slowly the feather spiraled downward in a haphazard random path. The master of ceremonies was standing in the midst of the Garden and lifted her hand as if to catch it. Surprisingly, it found its way right into her outstretched hand.

Carol was astounded, as she saw this as Zoey’s message to say she was taking care of Baby George. She couldn’t contain her excitement. Before I could continue the ceremony she ran to tell me what had just transpired. She urged me to tell everyone the story. I agreed that this amazing story had to be told and right then and there.

I addressed the Garden Family and explained in detail how the big white feather that fell from Baby George’s dove had special significance. As I concluded, the master of ceremonies walked over to me and gave me the feather. She asked that I give it to Zoey’s mother in memory of Zoey’s volunteer work for the Garden’s babies.

Zoey

I continued the dove ceremony releasing doves for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The volunteers read the names of the 125 children already in the Garden. When the last name was read the rest of the doves were released.

The Doves Released for All the Babies in the Garden of Innocence

When the ceremony concluded, people came to me, many with tears, thanking me for sharing the awesome experience we had in the Garden that day. Then Joe, the man who provided the doves, came to me and said that it was the first time he saw a dove lose such a large feather at the Garden. Many of the volunteers who had witnessed previous funerals at the Garden reiterated Joe’s comment that such a feather display had never been seen before.

When I arrived home I immediately called Zoey’s mother and related the extraordinary events that transpired that morning in the Garden of Innocence with her daughter. I explained that I had the feather for her as a keepsake of the wonderful message from heaven from Zoey.

Throughout the rest of that day, I marveled at what lengths God had gone to give us such a profound experience. I was thrilled to have added to Dawn a measure of comfort in the wake of the loss of her daughter.

TURNING POINT:

Sometimes God decides that a miracle is in order to teach us some important message with profound consequences for our future. At the moment we experience the miracle, or an unusually strange series of events that challenge our understanding, we wonder what its purpose is and what we are to take from it. Over time, experience reveals its purpose and understanding is made complete.

El Camino Memorial Park – The Babies

On a Saturday morning prior to our Service for the Departed in 1982, Carol, Randy and I went to El Camino Memorial Park in San Diego. We went to visit the grave of one of our church members who had been laid to rest a few days before. We wanted to be sure that the fresh grave site was clean and dignified.

As we walked through the rows of grave sites in search of our church member’s grave, we glanced upon the many grave markers with names and dates. I was particularly taken and drawn to a grave stone of a young girl of seventeen. She had been murdered. I paused and prayed for her and her grieved parents. The deep hurt of her family leaped out of the inscription on the grave stone in the words “MURDERED” and “BARELY SEVENTEEN” and it gripped my soul.

We continued on until we found the grave of our friend. We found it was neatly groomed and still had some fresh flowers on it. After some moments of prayer and contemplation we left to return home.

As we drove through the park toward the exit, Randy saw a pond with ducks swimming around. He begged me to stop and allow him to go to see the ducks. I parked the car at the edge of the road and Randy and I got out.

We walked down the sloping grounds toward the pond. After a while observing the ducks swimming around the pond I told Randy it was time to leave and we began to trudge up the hill toward the car.

As we walked I looked down and noted that the grave stones had but one solitary date. I thought how unusual that was and realized that these were all very young children, infants most of them. I stopped in my tracks as the impact of this realization touched my soul. I stood transfixed as I took in the environment around me.

There in the midst of these graves were two pine trees with low hanging boughs. Dangling in the branches were toy cars and trucks, dolls and trinkets. I paused to consider this picture and realized that these toys were attempts of sorely grieving parents seeking to reach out to their child with a gift, a sign of their love for them not stilled by their death. I had this profound feeling in that instant; that what an amazing gift God gave us in prayer. We can pray for our departed loved ones, and thereby show our love for them in the spiritual and need not rely on the material.

Years later, I revisited this Garden of Innocents and found that the trees had been removed or trimmed and the toys and trinkets removed. Surveying the scene, now different from my first visit, in my heart I hoped that the parents of the babies memorialized there have since discovered that their prayers convey their undying love as no toy or trinket could ever do.

Turning Points

The first brief moment in the garden for innocent babies served to significantly deepen my appreciation for the awesome power of prayer. Faced with helpless and hopeless feelings that surface when we are unable to help someone, the power of prayer and the knowledge that prayer changes things, situations and me, becomes a turning point, revealing this God given resource known as prayer. It can be an inspiration to practice and master prayer, pouring out our deepest emotions to the One who hears and answers and changes things for our benefit.

The Cell Phone at Church

The advent of the 2000 millennium ushered in an age of electronic devices that have become ubiquitous and a constant presence in every venue of our lives. Cell phones became “smart” and provided an amazing plethora of connectivity at the touch of a finger. These devices have come to be virtually indispensable in the minds of everyone and particularly the teenage crowd. This reality played an interesting part of an otherwise typical Sunday morning at our church.

I made my normal early morning preparations to minister the Sunday sermon at our church in El Cajon, California. Everything that day was typical for a Sunday morning as I drove to church for the morning service. It remained typical until I was a few minutes into the sermon. It was then that I noticed a teenager in the congregation leaning over intently. At second glance, I noticed he was franticly entering information into his cell phone. My initial thought was that the sermon was possibly boring to him, but then thought otherwise. The notion that maybe he was taking notes of the sermon flashed into my mind.

After the service the lad stopped to greet me. I asked him to show me his phone which he proudly did as it was new and had all the latest features. I mentioned that I noticed him taking notes during the sermon. I asked if he would kindly share them with me. I suggested he could e-mail them after he downloaded them at home.

He immediately bowed his head and, looking at his shoes, shamefully confessed that he was playing a game on his new phone with the sound muted. Noting his obvious sense of shame, I simply said, “Oh,” and changed the subject. I inquired as to how he was doing at school. We had a pleasant chat and parted with a smile a firm hand shake.

The following Sunday I again noted the same behavior from this young man. This time for some reason I did not get to greet him after service before he left with his family.

But, when I got home and checked my e-mails, I found one from him. Attached to his email was a lengthy epistle of the morning’s sermon. I was astounded as I read it. The caliber of its content, its thoroughness and completeness was quite impressive. The words revealed a detailed and thoughtful assimilation of the spirit of the sermon. I was deeply moved by how well he was able to grasp even the subtleties of the sermon’s content as well as his perspective on its application to his life.

I wrote him a glowing thank you e-mail and praised him for his willingness to share his notes with me. I noted how impressed I was at the thoughtful perspective he had and his ability to assimilate the sermon.

Turning Point

I am grateful that my first negative impression was quickly supplanted by a positive one. This simple and instant about face positioned me to guide our ensuing conversation to turn a negative to a positive result. It is amazing how catching someone doing something right and acknowledging it can prove to be a positive influence on someone. It is much more enjoyable to praise than to critique. (Refer to “simple Words -Powerful Turning Points” post)

Turning point lesson: look for the positive to turn a negative to your advantage.