Raising Thinking Children – Page 2 – The Turning Points of Life

“I Have Prayed for You”

Luke 22:31-32 (NKJV) Jesus Predicts Peter’s Denial
31 And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

I have found this brief bible passage of a statement of Jesus to be very profound. I have searched it for many months and each time I visit it, I see something new and revealing. I offer here some of these discoveries.

• “Simon, Simon! I see in this urgent call to the disciple the authentic love that Jesus had for his disciple. Peter was quite a character. His enthusiasm often pushed his statements into a troubling position. In fact, at one-point Jesus said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23 (NKJV) 23 But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are [a]an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”) Peter didn’t take offense like others might, but Peter didn’t learn his lesson. Many time later Peter stepped on his toes by his fiery persona. Still Jesus knew Peter’s heart and loved him all the more.
• “… Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.” Jesus love for Peter is evident in His pointed warning to Peter that Satan was targeting him. But as we know, Peter’s belief in himself rejected the warning. Nevertheless, Jesus love for him continued. Surely Jesus knew His words were falling on a closed mind.
• “But . .” I recall reading where an author proposed that “but’ stands for “Behold the Underlying Truth”. Despite surely knowing Peter’s rejection of the warning, Jesus wanted to equip His beloved disciple with an assurance, a measure of strength to sustain him in what was to follow.
• “. . . I have prayed for you,” Jesus in His great love for Peter, tells him that He has prayed for him. This revelation I have taken personally, and I hope you will as well. Since Jesus has a great and perfect love for Peter, despite Peter’s foibles, it caused Him to pray for him. I believe Jesus prays for me, despite my weakness and foibles. I passionately believe that Jesus loves me and cares for me to the point that He prays for me as He did for Peter. Most importantly, not only for me for all that He loves.
• “. . that your faith should not fail;” I find it telling that Jesus prayed for the resiliency of Peter’s faith. That underlines the importance of our faith that provides a deep and authentic trust in God. It is a powerful understanding that Jesus saw Peter’s faith as the most significant target of His prayer. Notice He didn’t pray that Peter’s struggle with Satan’s testing would be removed, but rather that Peter’s faith would withstand that test.
• “. . and when you have returned to Me,” Here Jesus reveals His confidence in the answer to His prayer that Peter’s faith would win the battle. Jesus is convinced that Peter would return as the victor. Can you imagine how Jesus must be confident that His prayer for you and me, that our faith will not fail, will have the same outcome for you and me as it did for Peter?
• “. . . strengthen your brethren.” Again, the great confidence that Jesus has in His prayers is magnified in this last statement as He bids Peter to use his trial and the victory to be a blessing for his brothers, his fellow disciples. This is a call to you and me, to share how the prayers of Jesus on our behalf have wrought countless blessings and the ensuing victory over the Evil One in our life of faith.

I hope that my sharing this insight into the depth of this experience with Jesus will inspire you to further plumb this Word of Jesus to see what richness awaits your inquiring of the Holy Spirit. Surely He will customize further revelations to suit your personal life with Him.

My Book “SOLOMON’S RECIPE” has arrived!

The essence of my book, SOLOMON’S RECIPE, was the first post on my blog. I expanded it into my first published book. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and most online book stores. Should you read it and find it worthy, please recommend it to your circle of friends. I am always open to your comments and how the book may have blessed you.

Note: Book is available as a paperback and eBook (Amazon Kindle + Barnes & Noble Nook)

Amazon Link::

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=solomon%27s+recipe+by+allan+musterer&crid=1BRENE2PNBGXS&sprefix=solomon%27s+%2Caps%2C336&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_10

Barnes & Noble Link:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/solomons-recipe-allan-musterer/1134053223?ean=9781646060207

Look for upcoming books “The Turning Points of Life ~ Realizing Those Moments That Change Everything” & “The Evolution of a Sushi Chef through the Eyes of His Father” and “Grieving ~ Finding Peace and Comfort in the Face of Loss”

Previews currently available on my Blog @ www.lifeturningpoints.org

Books2Inspire website is now available at www.allanemusterer.com

Sincerely,

Allan

A Four Second Transformation – Ogre to Prince

Did you every have an impression of someone until suddenly, in a matter of a few seconds that impression took a 180 degree turnabout? You thought you had a person nailed and then suddenly without warning it happened. This is my story of a four second transformation that became a turning point for me.

Being a teenager with a strict father had a way of creating a short memory. All the things my dad did for me as a child disappeared from my memory as I struggled with his strict ways in my teenage years. When in retrospect I reflected on the fact that I saw him in the extreme, as an ogre, I became sad and filled with regret. To my immature and in-the-moment mind, all I saw was a strong, strict and limiting father. My mother on the other hand was understanding and tried to balance dad’s stern and unwavering ways.

My mother and I had a very close relationship forged in my very early years. Unlike my dad I never forgot her kindness and loving ways when I was a teenager.

When I was about sixteen, my brother and I saw my mother as our coach. In fact we teased her at times with that nickname. We could say things to her we could never think of saying to our dad. Mother gently and wisely coached us in many situations typical teenagers experience. She had a special way of getting us to agree with whatever she said, while in contrast, we resisted most of our father’s words. Thankfully, the wisdom hidden in Dad’s counsel, eventually found its way into our realization.

One time my mother had to have a hemorrhoid operation. In those days it was one of the most painful surgeries one could experience. The day after the surgery Mother was recovering in the hospital. Dad, Roy and I had dinner together in our small kitchen. About to finish the meal, Dad announced to Roy and me that he was going to visit our mother in the hospital. We responded expressing our desire to go too. Dad resisted but we pressed him until he gave in.

Dad drove to Passaic General Hospital and parked on the street behind the hospital. The parking lot in front of the hospital had very limited parking space so it was out of the question to even think of parking there. The path to the hospital from the street where we were parked was comprised of large flights of steep wooden stairs. The stairs were serpentine as they twisted and turned up the steep hill.

Dad ordered us to wait fifteen minutes before we headed up the stairs. He said he needed “time to get mother prepared for our visit.” We wondered what he was talking about, getting mother “prepared” for us.

Obediently we waited and firmed up our plan for the visit. It was a brash plan to enter our mother’s room and ask her, “Hi Mother, how’s your ass?”

Being teenagers we didn’t give a thought as to how that would be received by either of our parents, we just thought it would be “cool.”

When fifteen minutes had passed, Roy and I got out of the car, locked it and headed up the steps. It seemed like forever to reach the top. Like everyone else climbing those stairs we were out of breath when we reached the top and began the short walk to the hospital entry.

Roy and I found our way to our mother’s hospital room, paused outside for a few minutes to compose ourselves and marched in with an air of arrogance.

A few steps into the room and we stopped dead in our tracks. One look at my mother’s face and I froze in a state of utter shock. The fact that she was in such excruciating pain shocked me into total paralysis. I felt as if I had a watermelon in my throat, making it impossible for me to utter a single word. I wanted to say something to comfort her, but it was simply impossible for me to speak.

After a few seconds, I saw Dad sitting at the edge of the bed, Mother’s hand in his as he gently stroked her forehead with his other hand. He was comforting my mother. Instantly, my father changed from an ogre to a prince as I realized he did what I could not do, comfort Mother in her moment of need and pain.

I felt so inadequate and useless in the face of the man who loved Mother with such gentle strength. Without a word, the scene put my arrogant teenage attitude into its proper place. The respect I had lost for my dad returned in that instant. Life in the family would never be the same as this big-time turning point changed the course of my attitude forever.

Turning Point

At times it takes a powerful traumatic emotional experience to create a turning point for us. We must understand that it may take time for the turning point’s lesson to reveal its profoundness. Sometimes though, it can hit home instantaneously. Whatever course the turning point may take, it behooves us to cherish them and the treasure they have the potential to be.

I have found that looking back and recounting my turning points, they can help others to get past misunderstandings such as I had for my dad when I was an impetuous teenager. Fortunate for me and my brother, we saw the truth of his wisdom rather quickly and that became a treasure to our benefit.

My Dad and Fishing

I can’t remember the very first time my dad took me fishing, but I suspect it was when I was about five years old and got a very old, rudimentary black casting rod and reel from my Uncle Arno. Uncle Arno was my mother’s brother and he and Aunt Helen lived on the street next to ours. I do remember going to their house and going into the garage. He took down a dusty old black fishing rod and reel. My dad agreed to clean it up and take me fishing one day.

We went home and dad and I went to work cleaning up the old fishing rod. The first thing dad did was take the reel apart and clean up the parts. He reassembled it and oiled the gears and bearings and put new fishing line on it. Now I was ready to go fishing.

However, it wouldn’t surprise me that in reality, the very first fishing moment in my life was with a long bamboo pole with a piece of fishing line, a hook at the end and a makeshift wooden bobber about a foot or so from the hook. It probably took place at the “pump house”, the nickname we gave to the small lake at the end of our street and just across the railroad tracks. The lake had a small population of carp, many of which were gold fish, likely planted there by people who got tired of their pet goldfish.

The “Pumphouse”

There are a number of fishing experiences with my dad that I remember vividly, two of which involve that old black casting rod and reel from Uncle Arno.

The first I recall was when our family visited my Uncle John and Aunt Elsie. They lived in a house on the banks of the Passaic River. I remember my brother and I fishing along the raised bank of the river using dough waded on the fishing hook for bait. My dad set up the rigging and we caught three catfish that day. One was large, about a foot long, one was smaller about nine inches long and the third was small and about five inches long. We boasted that we caught the whole family! My brother Roy and I both agreed that they were really ugly with their long black whiskers. I don’t remember if we threw them back into the river, but I am sure we didn’t eat them.

My next fishing memory was also with the old black fishing rod. This time my dad and I joined some of our neighbors and their sons at a lake some distance from our home. We rented two row boats and fished most of the day. I don’t recall if I caught any fish while in the boat, but my most vivid memory was when we returned the boats.

While my dad was taking care of our things and getting them stowed in the trunk of the car, I was still trying to catch fish. There was a park bench set between two large oak trees at the edge of the lake. Our neighbor, Mr. Barton, was sitting on the bench while I looked into the clear water of the lake. I could see a whole colony of sunfish. I couldn’t resist trying to catch one. I baited my hook with one of the last worms in the bait can and tried to cast it out to where the fish could clearly be seen.

Frustrated at being unable to get my baited hook close enough to the fish, I attempted to reach them by wrapping one arm around one of the oak trees. Steadied by the tree, I swung my fishing rod in a wide arc hoping to get the bait farther out into the lake. Alas, I lost my grip on the tree and tumbled into the water still gripping my fishing rod.

Fortunately, Mr Barton saw the whole thing unfolding before his eyes and his fast reaction saved me from possibly drowning. The water there was deep and I didn’t know how to swim, plus I was weighted down with all my clothes. Mr. Barton rolled off the bench and on his belly reached into the water, grabbed my collar and lifted me out of the water. I stood there shaking and grateful for Mr. Barton’s rescue.

When I was a little older, Mr. and Mrs. Herold, owners of the local German butcher shop and members at our church, rented us their bungalow at Greenwood Lake for a week one summer. That was a real adventure in fishing for me. Even though we didn’t have access to a boat, every day I joined my friend Dickey on a nearby dock and fished till our hearts were content.

Dock Fishing at Greenwood Lake

Many fishing days were spent with my dad in various locations over the ensuing years. We fished for fluke in Manasquan River that lead into the Atlantic Ocean. We fished Greenwood Lake with my Uncle Bill and cousin Herb who had a rowboat on the lake. We fished the lake for bass, perch and pickerel. These trips were very memorable and imparted a real love for the sport of fishing.

When I reached the age of twelve fishing with my dad suddenly changed. Dad’s job as a refrigeration engineer at Country Club Ice Cream Company changed to partial shift work. He had to work every Saturday and had Sunday and Monday’s off. That removed the possibility of fishing since Monday’s were school days for me.

That’s when my Uncle Henry stepped up and stepped in for me. All of us called him Uncle Henny. He was a painter by trade but was a master trout fisherman. He offered to take me fishing with him on Saturdays when he fished the many fast moving streams in northwestern areas of New Jersey. Places with names like Sparta, Lafayette, and Berkshire were old towns in the area that had streams flowing through them. The venues we fished were right in town, in open fields or farm pastures. Uncle Henny had a scheme for where and when to fish each spot.

When fishing with Uncle Henny became a reality, Dad took me to Meltzer’s Sporting Goods Store and bought me a fly rod, the required fishing equipment for fishing for trout in a fast stream. Along with the fly rod, we bought a reel, special floating fishing line and a wicker creel. Uncle Henny donated his old trout fishing vest to hold all the spare hooks, flies and spare line and leaders. He also gave me a used pair of hip boots.

Fully outfitted for trout fishing in fast moving streams, I was ready for Uncle Henny to teach me the fine points of the art of trout fishing.

The first day of trout fishing began with Uncle Henny picking me up at my house very early on a Saturday morning. We loaded my fishing gear into his car and off we went. The first stop was the Berkshire Valley. Uncle Henny parked his car in a dirt turnoff in an old residential area of town. Across the street from the houses was a stretch of the stream that gave access for fishing. Under the trees, Uncle Henny showed me how to bait the hook with night crawlers. I had caught my own supply of the large worms the night before by snatching them up from our backyard lawn after dark.

After the initial lesson, Uncle Henny set me loose and suggested I fish a stretch of the stream about twenty yards long. He assured me that there were lots of trout in that stretch. He left me there and headed downstream to fish.

For the next hour, I fished the stream but came up empty. Not a single bite could I get in spite of following Uncle Henny’s instructions. I was so disappointed. Uncle Henny eventually returned and asked how many trout were in my creel.

Reluctantly I said, “None.”

He paused and laid his fly rod with a still baited hook on the ground at the edge of the stream. He proceeded to take a fresh pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Unseen by either of us, the baited hook slipped into the stream when he laid his fishing rod down. Just as he pulled the red strip from his cigarette pack to access a cigarette, his rod began to jump around. Quickly he picked it up and reeled in the trout he had caught without even trying!

Uncle Henny

Now the lessons from my uncle became more detailed and the location and method of placing the baited hook into the stream made all the difference. By the end of the day, we both had our limit.

For the rest of my teenage years, Saturdays during trout season were spent with Uncle Henny fishing the streams of Northwestern New Jersey. Each Saturday afternoon I returned home with the limit of fresh trout that my mother masterfully turned into a delightful meal for the family on Sunday after church.

Turning Points

Dad’s introducing me to the joys of fishing was a turning point in many ways. It was an experience that bonded us together and introduced me to a sport that I enjoy to this day. Its rewards also helped me create a special bond between me and my son Randy.

The unexpected turn of events with Dad having to work on Saturdays, opened the door for me to learn a new venue of the sport of fishing and to build a rewarding relationship with Uncle Henny.

I began to explore other venues for fishing beyond lake and stream and river fishing. I discovered surf and deep sea fishing. All of these I eventually shared with Randy.

The Judas Goat

My dad often took me places that were profound learning experiences for me. I don’t know if they were part of a deliberate plan of his, but regardless, I learned lifelong and life changing lessons as a result.

I remember one day, probably a Saturday afternoon he took me and my brother to the last place I would have expected. He took us to a slaughterhouse in Secaucus, New Jersey. I don’t recall how old I was at the time, but most likely I was eight to ten years old. It was for me a very interesting experience.

We arrived sometime in the early afternoon in summertime. The sun was high in the sky. It was hot and very humid, typical of a New Jersey summer day. Dad parked the car amidst a sprawling complex of wooden corrals. The smell of farm animals permeated the air. The corrals were jam packed with animals waiting for their turn to enter the bowels of the slaughterhouse. Pigs populated some of the corrals we saw and lambs others.

Dad led us to a large corral that had hundreds of lambs housed within. As I looked over the crowded arena, I noted that there was one animal that stood out. It was bigger and had curled horns and a long white beard hung from its chin. It also had a bell hanging from its neck. I recognized it as a goat.

I asked, “Dad, why is there a goat among the lambs?”

He said, “In a little while, you will understand why he is there.”

Dad reached into his pocket and retrieved his pack of Camels cigarettes. He removed a cigarette and reached over the top of the corral. I climbed up onto the bottom rung of the corral’s railing and hung my arms over the top. It didn’t take long for the sensitive nose of that goat to smell the tobacco aroma from dad’s little unfiltered cigarette.

Quickly, the goat weaseled his way through the crowd of lambs and snatched the cigarette from between dad’s fingers. He ate that thing so fast that in a split second it was gone. The goat stayed there, looking at dad as if to say, “Can I have another one?”

My dad pulled another cigarette from the pack, carefully keeping some distance from the goat. I imagine he was fearful that if he were to get too close the hungry goat eyeing him with anticipation of another treat would snatch the whole pack from unsuspecting hands.

Dad and the goat entertained us with a few more cigarettes for the next few minutes. Then the real purpose of the visit began to unfold before my eyes.
I don’t know what the signal was that caused the next activity to commence, but suddenly the goat began to prance around the corral. The bell around its neck announced that something was happening and it attracted the attention of every lamb in the corral. They all began to move about; increasing their speed, the activity became more and more agitated.

That is when my dad began to tell us what was about to happen.

He explained that the goat was a Judas goat. For some reason, the lambs instinctively followed the goat. The goat was trained to lead the sheep and in this case, lead them to slaughter.

I watched as the Judas goat made his way through the throng of lambs. Soon he had all of them following and he made his way to the edge of the corral. He passed by where we were standing and I saw a gate open a short distance from us. The goat led the lambs through the gate and into a narrow chute. Suddenly, another gate opened and the goat returned to the corral, but none of the lambs returned.

Dad explained that as soon as the goat got the lambs into the chute, the goat was diverted and the lambs went into the slaughterhouse.

We watched as the last of the lambs entered the chute. Dad summoned us to return to the car. Dad of course didn’t want us to witness the actual slaughtering process. That was not part of this lesson. He was very wise that way. What we witnessed, however, was a lesson that evolved over years to come, providing understanding that proved to be a blessing in many circumstances of life.

TURNING POINT

This turning point was one that developed over many years. One crucial lesson it taught me was not to be sucked in by what everyone around me was doing. Peer pressure was a powerful force, especially in one’s youth. The desire and need to fit into the “in crowd” was very deceptive in so many instances. This lesson gave me courage to be different and not follow blindly the course taken by those around me. It caused me to seriously and deliberately consider the potential consequences of actions, and equipped me with the wherewithal to make wise decisions in life.

The Power of Three

When Sunday mornings dawned, I awoke and made my way to the kitchen to brew some coffee and prepare an English muffin for breakfast. Once all was in the works I made my way to the driveway to retrieve the morning newspaper.

I returned to the kitchen to a fresh brewed pot of coffee and a golden brown toasted muffin. Coffee cup of steaming coffee and a buttered English muffin in hand I made my way to our kitchen table with the Sunday paper. After a prayer of thanks, I sipped my coffee and opened the bundled newspaper and searched for the Parade magazine.

I made it a habit every Sunday to read a particular column in the PARADE magazine, one written by Marilyn vos Savant. She was known for having attained the highest IQ score ever recorded. Most of the questions posed to her that she answered in her weekly column had to do with solving puzzles, riddles or other mathematically oriented challenging queries.

Marilyn vos Savant

I was not looking for those when I read her column even though some were quite entertaining. What I looked for was her views on life issues.

One of her most fascinating columns was a turning point for me because it was a perfect illustration of the power of three as applied to the process of learning. The question posed to Marilyn was this: If you were on your death bed and had but a few moments to speak your last words to your child, what would you say?

Marilyn’s answer was something I wish I had known when I was a student in school. She said she would tell her child the rule of three in the learning process.

Marilyn explained that the first step was to read the lesson the day prior, in advance of the next class. While reading, the student needed to record any questions that arose and prepare to get the answers during the next day’s class lecture. The key element in this step was reading or seeing the lesson.

The second step was the class lecture itself. Listening during the class lecture the student needed to find the answers to their questions. Any questions not answered, the student needed to get answered either by asking in class or speaking to the teacher afterward. The key element in this step was listening or hearing the lesson.

The third step was to do the homework assignment that applied the lessons presented in the class fortified by the answered questions. The key element in this third step was writing or doing the lesson.

These three steps provided exposure to the essence of the lesson in a threefold manner. First was reading, the second listening and the third doing. The result was not a memorizing exercise but rather a learning one.

I came to realize that this “rule of three” had very interesting effects on getting information into our subconscious mind.

While taking a series of seminars for training budding entrepreneurs, I witnessed a demonstration that I have since performed hundreds of times to the astonishment of those who were willing to engage my little test.

It went something like this:
First I explained a situation that my subject was willing to embrace. I asked them what they saw as their profession and then posed this scenario. If for example they said that they saw themselves as an accountant, I told them that their role in the test was as follows: You have just lost your job; your spouse is in the hospital with a severe illness that has sapped your insurance and life savings. Your children are in great fear; you have no way to pay your bills and you are desperate. I meet you and explain that I am a billionaire and in need of an accountant with your specific background. I am willing to hire you with a $250,000 up front signing bonus. All you need do is pass a simple two part test. My subject normally quickly agrees to the test.

Before I would begin the test I ask them to identify their strongest hand. Part one of the test was using that hand they held their thumb and ring finger tips together. I tell them that at some unknown time during their recitation I will attempt to pull those two fingers apart. If I succeed, they fail the test.

I instruct them to recite the phrase, “I am the best accountant in the world!” five times, using enthusiasm and inflection to convince me of their sincerity. While they are speaking the phrase, I wait till they have recited it at least three times. I attempt to pull their fingers apart, usually as they are saying it the fourth time. When I perform this part of the test, regardless of the gender, age or physical attributes, no matter how hard I try, I fail to pull their fingers apart. Then I move to the second part of the test.

I tell them that they now need to repeat the fivefold pronouncement except that they now add the phrase “I will try to be . . . ” the best accountant in the world. After they say it three times, I easily pull their fingers apart to their great astonishment.

They will usually be thinking, “Wow, what just happened?”

I explained, “When you state the first time that ‘you are’, your conscious mind registers it. When you say it the second time, your conscious mind says ‘Okay, I heard that.’ The third time you said that ‘you are . . . ‘, your conscious mind disregards it and it registers in your subconscious. After three times, I attempt to pull your fingers apart. You use 100% of you strength, and no matter my strength or yours I will never be able to pull your fingers apart.”

I continue, “In the second part of the test, when you insert the phrase ‘I will try . . . ‘ into your pronouncement something interesting happens. In your childhood, when you came running to a parent or teacher facing a failure, they would ask, ‘Did you try?’ and you said, ‘Yes! I tried!’ They said, ‘Well as long as you tried, it’s okay.’ In other words, this childhood programming taught you (and your subconscious) that trying is an acceptable excuse for failure. In the second part of the test, because your subconscious allows it, you subsequently do not give 100% but rather something less, thus allowing me to easily pull your fingers apart.”

Here the rule of three works together with a person’s experience growing up and illustrates the power of three and how negative experiences can influence our subconscious minds.

I applied this lesson often when I was engaged in learning an important subject. I also had opportunity to share this bit of wisdom with others.

One such experience confirmed the truth of the power of three applied to learning. It came when a business colleague asked me to talk to one of his daughters. She was attending college and had serious trouble with her classes. At her mid-term break she had three D’s and two F’s on her mid-term exams. Her dad hoped that I could help her with her grades.

I spoke with the young lady and asked how she was dealing with the process of learning. She had no understanding of how to approach the art of learning in a college environment. She was frustrated with her inability to gain a sufficient understanding to effectively take an exam. Her poor grades threatened to cause her to leave school.

I explained to her the rule of three as described by Marilyn vos Savant. I encouraged the young lady to take this seriously and told her it would make a big difference. I asked her to share with me the results at the end of the semester and the final exams were completed.

When the result of her finals came in a few months later, she very excitedly called me to report the results. She had diligently followed the principles I outlined in the rule of three. The final exam scores resulted in her grades for two of the mid-term D’s becoming B’s, the other D became a C and the two F’s became C’s.

The rule of three when applied to any learning experience proves to be very effective. What is important is not memorization of facts, but rather an understanding of the essence of the material. That is true learning.

Sometime in my deliberations over the power of three, I considered the importance of understanding as opposed to memorization in the learning process. I delved into the meaning of three words: Know and Comprehend and Understand.

To “know” something implies that we perceive the fact of something. For example I considered a spoon, a fork and a knife. When I looked at these utensils I “know” that they are distinct items that differ from each other.

When I “comprehend” them, I appreciate that they have different functions as eating utensils. For instance, I would not use a fork to eat soup or a fork to cut meat.

When I “understand” these utensils, I see beyond the obvious name of them and their differences but I see their implications for other diverse uses and applications. These implications could be, for instance, using the knife as a screwdriver, the handle as a hammer, the spoon as a shovel and the fork as a weapon.

Understanding value and importance then is the more complete appreciation of something and the fullness of its potential scope of utility.

Turning Point

Appreciating and understanding the rule and power of three creates a change in how one approaches the learning experiences that life brings. After all, I am convinced that when we are through learning, we are through! The knowledge and experience with the power of the rule of three make the learning process thrilling and exciting. The younger one is when understanding the rule of three, the more profitable it is for them.

The wisdom in the rule of three is quite compelling. I have witnessed and experienced repeated success when the rule of three is diligently followed and exercised. The truth of this rule can be applied to many learning venues with success.

I Want To Be A Veterinarian

When my son Randy was about to enter high school, I decided it was time to encourage him to seriously consider what profession he wanted to pursue. His mother and I planned for him to go to college and it was our intention to provide the financial support for his education. From my own experience, I knew that the sooner one decided on the profession they wanted to embrace, the sooner they would effectively prepare for it.

One day while driving together, I said, “Randy, in a few weeks you’ll be starting high school. Now is the time for you to make an important decision. What career do you want to make for yourself? I don’t want to push you into anything. It is your decision and I will support whatever career you choose. I will however, suggest that doctors make a good living and dermatologists don’t get emergency calls in the middle of the night.”

Shortly after our talk, Randy came to me and announced that he wanted to be a veterinarian. I applauded him on choosing such a noble profession. Considering his love for animals and his ability to easily relate to them, this was not a surprise.

I said, “Randy, you have chosen well. Now you need to ride your bike around town to find a veterinarian clinic and get a job there after school so you can witness firsthand the day to day activity of a veterinarian in an animal clinic.”

Randy agreed and over the next week he visited a number of local animal clinics. At the dinner table one evening he said, “Well dad, I visited a few clinics like you said, but this is not going to work out.”

I inquired, “Why is that?”

He said, “Because they don’t pay. They only take volunteers. They don’t even pay college students.”

Understanding that on weekends and holidays Randy had been working on fishing boats as a deckhand and making a good income, it was natural that he expected to be paid.

After some thought, Carol said, “Randy, just pick the clinic you would like to work at, volunteer there and we will pay you minimum wage for the hours you work.”

Randy chose to work at the Center Veterinary Clinic in Mira Mesa a few blocks from the high school. The next day he signed up there as a volunteer. He worked for a few hours after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It was great experience and he really enjoyed the work and training he received. After about three weeks, Randy told us that he was hired and now getting paid.

Since this turn of events didn’t fit in with the report Randy gave us previously, I decided to contact the vet at the clinic to understand what had happened. I called and left a message with the clinic and soon after I received a call from the vet.
I said, “I’m Randy’s dad, and he just told us that you have hired him. I was under the impression that clinics only took volunteers who were not paid. How is it that you have hired my son?”

The doctor said, “Do you know what Randy is doing in our clinic?”

I said, “Yes, he works there every Tuesday and Wednesday after school.”

The doctor said, “You don’t know the half of it. Randy has been coming in on Mondays and Wednesdays as well to witness our surgeries and other more complex procedures. With such a passionate interest in the profession, I just felt I had to support him. That’s why I hired Randy.”

Randy enjoyed his work at the clinic and gained valuable knowledge from his experience. In his senior year Randy at Mira Mesa High School, he was accepted at California Polytechnic University in San Luis Obispo. He was accepted into their Pre-Vet Animal Science curriculum. This course of study was designed to prepare the student for Vet school after graduation.

High School Graduation

Randy studied at Cal Poly where, like most California State Universities, it took 5 years to finalize his education and earn his bachelor’s degree. We discovered that it extremely difficult to get accepted into graduate school for veterinary medicine. In fact, partly due to the very few available spaces in the veterinary doctorate programs, it is easier to get into medical graduate school.

Cal Poly Graduation

Although Randy did not get accepted into a graduate veterinary school after graduation, he used his degree from Cal Poly to secure a position as a cancer research scientist in pharmaceutical research. True to his character as displayed in his younger years, whenever he faced a challenge, he rose to take it on with unflappable grace and fore thought. This equipped him to make wise and deliberate decisions that lead him to opportunities for personal growth, career and business success, and ultimately making him a person of value.

Randy, Carol and Canaan
(His future business partner)

He was first employed by a small pharmaceutical research company in Silicon Valley. There he learned some valuable lessons and made strong professional acquaintances that prepared him for the future. His career in animal research focusing on cures for cancer and influenza some of the most prestigious pharmaceutical companies in California’s Silicon Valley. (See The Snake Challenge – February 2016; The Car Challenge – March 2016; A Father’s Advice – March 2016)

Turning Points

This turning point in Randy’s life set the stage for opening two doors for his future. The first was his career in cancer research. This career placed him in the unique environment of Silicon Valley. His cancer research jobs provided the elevated income levels needed for him to thrive in the high cost of living in this high tech area of California.

The second aspect of this turning point uniquely positioned Randy to follow his dream of one day becoming a sushi chef and owning his own restaurant. The time at Cal Poly allowed Randy to explore clever ways to feed the sushi cravings he developed while working as a teenager on the fishing boats in San Diego. This in turn allowed him to establish a circle of fellow classmates who also loved sushi and in particular enjoyed the fruits of Randy’s developing expertise in designing and making creative sushi rolls. When Randy graduated and began working in Silicon Valley, he found sushi restaurants to fill his sushi needs and friends from Cal Poly followed him there. Eventually he got a part time job as a sushi chef and “Sushi Randy”, as he became known, expanded the scope of fans beyond the college acquaintances.

When the time was right, Randy and his business partner found the perfect location and business climate to open a sushi restaurant in the heart of Silicon Valley, downtown Campbell. The unique restaurant was the perfect fit at the perfect time and supported by his loyal followers became known as the best in the Silicon Valley. (Ref: www.SushiConfidential.com)

The initial disappointments Randy experienced along the way were actually turning points that guided his course for him to embrace his purpose. Surely, the best is yet to come.

In many ways, Randy’s turning points were also my turning points as I witnessed how they precluded me from being able to spare him from those disappointments. I could only be there to encourage and support. Sometimes, that is the best a parent can and yes, should do.

Zoey’s Apple Pie Miracle

In the decade of 1990’s, most of the Southeast Asian refugees who had joined our churches in the San Diego area left for California’s central valley. They settled in places like Porterville, Merced and Visalia where they helped establish numerous missions and congregations.

My ministry then moved to the care of a congregation in El Cajon, California. There I developed a special relationship with one of the children, a little girl named Zoey.

My connection to Zoey had a history. I had the honor of performing the wedding of her parents Greg and Dawn. I also had the privilege of giving Dawn the confinement blessing when she became pregnant with Zoey. Then I was blessed with the opportunity to perform Zoey’s Holy Baptism. These three events created a special connection. Zoey was very easy to love. She had certain sweetness about her and a personality that quickly captured my heart. Her smile was irresistible.

While Dawn was working, her mother Daylene cared for Zoey. It was always a special day for Zoey being cared for by her grandmother. Daylene always had some creative activity in store for Zoey when they were together. One of Daylene’s special talents was sewing, and creating unique clothes. Zoey was a benefactor of that talent along with the many other adventures the two shared on the days they spent together.

Exploring the yard around Daylene’s home in El Cajon was one of Zoey’s favorite activities. They revealed many creatures that fascinated Zoey’s young inquisitive mind. These were turning point moments for Zoey that created a love and fascination for God’s creatures. When Zoey grew older she had many interesting pets and set her sights on becoming a veterinarian.

Daylene’s creative talent and artistic pursuits allowed her creativity to flourish and naturally became a positive influence on young Zoey.

One particular day Daylene’s project was for her and Zoey to bake apple pies. The whole process from finding the recipe to gathering and preparing the ingredients was carefully followed by grandmother and granddaughter. For Zoey it was a new experience but one that would have unexpected and potentially tragic consequences.

The crust was fashioned in the pie pans and the apples were sliced just to the right shape and thickness. The sauce was assembled and the filling was carefully poured into the crust. Then the covering crust was placed on top. Prior to completing the assembly of the pie, the oven was adjusted to the proper settings and temperature and turned on. The completed pies were placed in the oven.
While the pies were in the oven Dawn arrived to pick up Zoey to take her home. After a few welcoming hugs, the moment came to check on the pies. When the oven was opened, one of them exploded and hot apple sauce flew out all over Zoey’s face!

Immediately Dawn embraced her daughter and reached for a wet dish cloth from the kitchen counter. She put it over Zoey’s red and scalded face. After a few moments she removed it, and to her great relief she saw Zoey’s face showing no evidence of the terrifying event. No blisters, no redness, nothing, as if the flying hot apple pie filling never happened.

A grateful mother and grandmother thanked God for this amazing miracle. Then Dawn called me to share the happy outcome. I joined the three of them thanking and praising God for His gracious miracle and the protection He provided for this special little girl.

Turning Points

Aside from the obvious turning points this experience reveals for Zoey, it was also a turning point for me. As the minister caring for the congregation family, daily prayers for them was a part of my joyful serving. An event as this justified the importance and revealed the consequences of prayerful intercession for those I loved and served. Once again there was reinforcement of Solomon’s Recipe (See “Solomon’s Recipe” posted March 2015) and it’s guidance to “trust in the Lord” and “in all things acknowledge Him”.

When we can experience the blessing of a faithful prayer answered in ways that go beyond human explanation, a profoundly grateful heart is edified. A grateful soul is a happy soul.

The Sermon to Sleep Through

In my youth, I suffered as most from an intense fear of speaking in front of a group of people. The worst week of the year was the second week of December when our Sunday school had a Christmas program on the second Sunday evening. The program consisted of each of the Sunday school children reciting a poem from memory in front of the 300 church members. I spent the week before the program in agonizing fear and trepidation.

In elementary school I had to orally present book reports in front of the class. Those experiences were also very traumatic for me.

These fears created in me a deep respect for my teachers and the ministers in church because they had overcome that fear which I believed they also had to battle. For them it was a battle they had won and I had yet to master. In my youth, I could not yet imagine being successful in that battle.

My Church in Clifton, NJ

One Sunday evening when I was in my early teens, I attended a church service with my parents and younger brother. We arrived at church and my father parked our car in the church parking lot that was located in the back of the church.

Just as we arrived, the minister who was to conduct the service was just exiting his car. He walked toward the church and on the way greeted four men who were standing at the end of the parking lot. They were about the same age as my father. The minister was about twenty feet ahead of me on his way to the entry of the rectory.

As I passed by the four men I overheard one of them say to the others, “Well, I guess we can sleep though this one.”

These words pierced me deeply. It hurt me because I had such great respect for this minister. He was able to do what I never dreamed I would ever be able to do; speak in front of a large group. These men seemed to only judge the quality of his delivery and its content, but disregarded his courageous efforts to overcome the fear of speaking to a crowd.

I entered the church as never before. My mind was set on a personal mission. I was going to get so much out of the service that it would make whatever sacrifice the minister made that evening to serve the congregation worthwhile .

I marched into church, passed the offering box and emptied my pocket with all the money I had. It was probably seventy five cents, fifty cents more than my usual offering. Then I made straight for my seat next to my cousin just behind the choir.

Seated, I bowed my head prayed like never before. I pleaded sincerely with God to help me extract from the service so much as to make the efforts of the minister worthwhile, even if no one else in the whole congregation got anything from the service.

The service soon commenced and the minister began the sermon. The more it progressed the more disappointed I became. The minister, an immigrant from Europe, had a mild accent, spoke in a monotone and used a rather limited vocabulary. On top of that his grammar left much to be desired. But what troubled me was that he never seemed to complete a thought. One by one he would raise a thoughtful statement and suddenly drop it and go on to another. I couldn’t get anything that I could reasonably say made sense of any of it.

Anger seethed in me. After all I did that I thought would ensure a positive outcome, offering all I had, praying sincerely, I now had to face failing the minister. Worse was the sense that I was seemingly justifying the attitude of those four men.

When the service was over, I was filled with deep disappointment, anger and betrayal. I immediately left the church. I ran to the parking lot and got into the back seat of our car.

When my brother and parents entered the car soon after I did. My mother knew something was wrong. I politely repelled her inquiry as to what was wrong. When we returned home, I went right to bed, skipping dinner with the family.

In bed I railed against God, rebuking Him for failing my humble, sincere and noble request. I was so sure that what I attempted to do was so right. Why did my God not respond? After some time of ranting silently in my prayer of frustration, I lay there in silence and calm, exhausted by the experience.

In the silence, I suddenly heard again the first of the many “thoughts” raised in the sermon but dropped by the minister. This time, however, the thought continued to evolve through to its completion. I lay there in awe as I processed the amazing result. As soon as I realized this explanation and a new understanding entered my soul, the next thought from the sermon came to mind.

Just as with the first, this next thought continued on to a revealing conclusion. The revelation of these developed thoughts from the sermon profoundly touched my soul. I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving, but did not yet realize what a turning point this would prove to be for me.

The next day, and for some days thereafter, as I walked to school another of the sermon’s thoughts arose in my mind. Just as they did that Sunday night in my bed, they continued through to a glorious conclusion.

It took some time for me to realize what I had learned by this experience and to fully appreciate the turning point that it was for me and my future life experiences.

Turning Point

As the years unfolded, I discovered the turning point that this experience was and the treasure it became for my life. These are some of the treasures that came out of this turning point:
• When I attended service from this point on, I was able to gain great value even when the quality of the delivery by a minister was not perfect. I learned that my work with God and His Spirit came not only during but after the sermon in the time I gave Him to guide and inspire my thoughts.
• When I attended college, there was no church of my denomination within reasonable distance for me to attend. Visiting the local churches in the small college town, though interesting, did not fulfill my spiritual hunger. Equipped with the knowledge and understanding afforded by this experience, I was able to gain spiritual sustenance from transcripts of divine services in our church that were sent to me. I would spend hours on Sunday mornings studying those transcripts, a fact that surprised even me. However, through the preparation provided from my turning point, I gained understanding, confidence and strength in my pursuit of spiritual maturity.
• Years later when I was a minister, I was able to use this experience relating it to a family who had trouble accepting a particular minister who served them in their congregation. It proved to provide them a different perspective that helped them maintain their spiritual compass. (After that evening, I realized that I had never forgiven those four men for their attitude. I understood that God had used their weakness to bless me with a life lesson that required their participation. I sat in my car that night and prayed, seeking their forgiveness as they were all deceased by that time)
• Some years later, the highest minister in our church was quoted as saying, “No divine service is a matter of course; each is extraordinary.” In light of my turning point experience I realized there are three parts to the sermon, God’s input as creator, the minister’s input as the conveyor, and my “input” as the listener. God’s part is always extraordinary and perfect. The minister’s not always extraordinary or perfect. But I have the opportunity to make mine extraordinary if I am willing to seek and give the Holy Spirit time to guide me and reveal even what wasn’t said in the sermon.

A Father’s Advice – Getting Known

My son Randy wanted to make his career in veterinary medicine. It was not surprising to his mother and me as he loved animals from his early childhood. Randy was in high school when we suggested that he work at a local veterinary clinic. Randy searched around our neighborhood and found one particular veterinary clinic appealing. He inquired regarding employment and was told that they only take volunteers as interns without pay.

Randy told us that night at the dinner table that he didn’t think it would work at the clinic because they didn’t pay. Carol quickly offered to pay Randy minimum wage for every hour he volunteered. That sounded good so Randy applied and was accepted as a volunteer. To our surprise, after a few weeks he was hired at the clinic because of the intense interest he showed in the practice.

Following graduation from Mira Mesa High School, Randy attended Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo where he worked to earn a B.S. degree specializing in Pre-Vet Animal Science. However, after graduation he was unable to gain acceptance into the UC Davis veterinary program. His plan now had to change and find a new direction.

Randy found an opportunity to fulfill his passion for working with animals in an unexpected form, pharmaceutical cancer research. He accepted a position at a small pharmaceutical research firm in Menlo Park, California – Sequus Pharmaceuticals, Inc.

In June 1995, Randy was leaving home to begin his professional career at Sequus; I wanted to give him some fatherly advice. My purpose was to give him encouragement, confidence and successful thinking. History and experience told me that there were some very crucial things to understand starting out in the business world with hope to be successful. Most of these were learned by my own retroactive deliberations on what happened in my career in the business world.

Sequus Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Menlo Park, CA

I said to Randy, “Build an impeccable reputation because that is what people with think and speak of you when you are not around.”

I wanted Randy to realize that reputation was crucial. Reputation was what people thought of you as true: your character, your integrity, your honesty and your loyalty. Reputation was what others would think of you when you are not around. I wanted my son to be very much aware of this truth because it was under his control; it was in his hands to create it. Absolutely essential was purposeful building the truth. Any deception eventually would be revealed.

I told Randy, “Son, you need to find a way to let everyone in the company from the janitor to the CEO know what you are doing to contribute to the success of the company.”

I wanted him to realize that he must be known by the key leaders in the company. They needed to know him. Not just his name, but what he was contributing to the company and its future success. And they needed to know the details, not some “broad brush” understanding, but an in-depth, “nitty gritty”, fine point awareness of his talent and skill and the application thereof to the mission of the organization.

Finally I told him, “I have purchased shares of stock in the company where you will be working. I know you will make a difference in its success!”

I wanted my son to know I was fully confident in his success and that of the team with whom he was soon to be an integral and contributing part. I made an investment in the company and thereby an investment in him.

These fatherly words of advice resulted in some interesting decisions by Randy. Upon completion of the orientation activities on day one, Randy was provided with a computer and an office. He was assigned an e-mail address and a company roster with e-mail addresses.

He immediately set forth putting a plan into motion. Randy began e-mailing everyone in the company a letter of introduction he had penned expressing his delight in working for the company. At the end of the letter, he inquired as to their favorite leisure time activities and what they liked to do with their families. He received a very high percentage of responses from the staff. Upon review, Randy noticed that two things “stuck out”; picnics and volleyball.

Flood Park – Menlo Park, CA

Randy set out investigating the local area and found a park near the office that also had a number of volleyball courts. Over the next days, Randy planned out an “un-official” company family picnic featuring a volleyball venue and potluck lunch at Flood Park. He then made a reservation at the park for a Saturday a few weeks in the future. Randy invited all the company staff and their families to attend the Saturday program.

Volley Ball Court at Flood Park

It was a great success with a very high percentage turnout. The company CEO was so impressed with the high turnout he inquired of Randy’s boss, “I have been trying unsuccessfully to get something like this to work for our company. Who pulled this off?”

She replied, “Our new hire, Randy. Would you like to meet him?”

During the subsequent conversation, the CEO asked Randy to assist with planning and organizing the company’s annual winter dinner party.

Sequus Laboratory Facility

Randy at work in the lab.

The stock in the company rose considerably until the company was sold. I made a substantial profit in my IRA account with my investment in the company, but more importantly, Randy put into practice the principles of business I had shared with him and he reaped his own rewards. Constantly open to learning from his experience propelled Randy to a successful career.

It is interesting to note that while investigating Stanford University’s renowned and highly rated MBA program, I discovered they require a substantial essay from three high level executives of the company where a candidate is employed. The essay must describe in fine detail the work the candidate is performing for the company. The requirement necessitates the executive to be intimately aware of the candidate’s work. This was for me a confirmation of the validity of my counsel to Randy to become known to the staff at the firm.

Randy’s career in cancer and influenza research continued to develop as he contributed at a number of research companies in both technical and social arenas. Ultimately he was part of teams that gained national recognition in their field of expertise.

Some Lessons to consider:

• It is critical to have a plan and purpose at the very onset of employment in a chosen career. From day one you will be fashioning your reputation. It will be in your hands and the product of your performance over time. Your consistent behavior, conduct, decisions, etc. will create in the minds and hearts of those around you, the person that you are.
• It is important that the decision makers, the executives, know who you are and what you are doing. They need to know details. Your excellence will attract their attention and interest in you and your career. Their power will help promote you to get what you deserve and have earned.
• A well devised plan, executed with skill and determination, will eventually open the door to your success. Resourcefulness and creativity are assets that are important to develop.
• A good reputation is essential to any career. It is an unwritten resume that has a way of following one around. Once created, it is very difficult to change. A good reputation that speaks to one’s integrity and admirable character becomes an invaluable asset along life’s journey.

Turning Points

This experience taught me the value a parent can be to their children through wise counsel and sincere encouragement. Acknowledging your child’s doing the right things and offering sincere and detailed praise can make the difference between success and failure.

Following up on offered counsel and encouragement with prayerful intersession must not be under estimated.