FRIENDS

Years ago I found myself dissatisfied with what seemed to me a lack of deeper understanding of the meaning of words we use every day in our conversation. This meant missing out on fully appreciating what we say and what we hear, underestimating meaning and losing something valuable.

One of those words was “appreciation” and I delved into it studying its fuller meaning and how it impacted me. (See my Post “Appreciation” June 2015) In that process, I gained an understanding that spread across many aspects of life.

Another one of those interesting words is “friend”. I remember mentioning to someone that they were my friend and their retort was, “You mean I am just a friend?”

What struck me was that this person did not appreciate what it meant to be considered a friend. To their understanding, a friend was something less than what I believed and understood a friend to be. I began my investigation.

I started with the dictionary and uncovered this:
Friend = one attached to another by feelings of personal regard; a well-wisher, patron or supporter; one who is on good terms with another.

A good start be still not very satisfying I went to the Bible to get a better sense of what more could be attributed to the meaning of “friend”.

In a statement by Jesus I found something quite interesting. In the Gospel of John, I read,
John 15:13-15 New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

When Jesus made a special note to teach His disciples a meaning for being His friends, I realized that to Jesus a friend was quite special. Special to me was that He saw one as willing to give his very life for a friend! That really touched me. The very ultimate sacrifice was worthy of a friend. Jesus went further to classify those who loved and followed Him as His friends, in other words, those who He was willing to die for! He didn’t stop there when He went so far as to give them every gift from His Father that He had received.

I decided I would go even further in my study to see if there was more to be learned. It was then that I came upon a passage from the seldom read books of what is called the Apocrypha. There I found a very encompassing meaning for “friend” from what is often attributed to Solomon.

Faithful Friends are secure shelters & strong defenses;
Who finds such has found excellent treasures.
Faithful Friends are beyond price;
Their Excellency & worth more than money can buy.
Faithful Friends are elixirs, medicines for life;
Those who love & fear the Lord our God find them.
[Liberally translated/paraphrased from Ecclesiasticus 6:14-16]

When I read the phrases: “excellent treasures”, “beyond price”, “worth more than money can buy”, and “elixirs, medicines for life” I finally found satisfaction that I had embraced and understood what a true friend really meant. I also noted that in this passage, “friends” were described as “faithful” indicating that the notion of “friend” can be compromised by the evil one to create doubt and unbelief. Faithful Friends are true friends, not those who attempt to use the friendship for ulterior motives.

Turning Point

A turning point is often inspired by a sense of dissatisfaction with something we experience and one is prompted to dig beyond the obvious and search for value. It is in this search that treasures are discovered and obtained, seeming little things that become big influences on who we become. It fascinates me how such little moments guided by the Holy Spirit build in us treasures of great value.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER

The Ancient Art of Listening

In the early 1980’s I attended a seminar on the subject of communication. The opening moments turned out to be a significant turning point for me. The seminar facilitator began by asking all 500 participants a series of questions.

The first question: How many of you have taken a class or course in writing during your formal education? Virtually every hand was raised.

The next question: How many have taken a class or course in public speaking? About 80% raised their hands.

The final question: How many have taken a class or course in listening? Not a single hand was raised! Not one attendee admitted to taking a lesson or course in listening.

Listening is the critical component of successful communication, yet few, if any, have ever been professionally trained in this important area. Only until recently has listening become considered worthy of its own study.

I found that listening was so much more than hearing. It was a skill at processing what was heard and inspiring an appropriate thoughtful response.

My deliberations following the course caused a fine focused attention to listening skills and a purposeful effort to master mine. I looked into Holy Scripture and that revealed a biblical golden nugget for my pursuit.

I discovered that the following passage in The Message version of the Bible’s Old Testament provided fascinating perspectives on the subject of listening skills.

I highlighted what I deemed critical points to consider further and added some commentary.

1 Kings 3:4-10 The Message (MSG)
4-5 The king went to Gibeon, the most prestigious of the local shrines, to worship. He sacrificed a thousand Whole-Burnt-Offerings on that altar. That night, there in Gibeon, GOD appeared to Solomon in a dream: God said, “What can I give you? Ask.”

My thoughts at this point: We as human beings fantasize about a Genie who can offer us one or sometimes three wishes. It’s just a fantasy. There is no Genie. But God, the almighty, who can do anything, in all His power asks Solomon, “What can I give you? Ask.” What do I ask God for each morning?

 6 Solomon said, “You were extravagantly generous in love with David my father, and he lived faithfully in your presence, his relationships were just and his heart right. And You have persisted in this great and generous love by giving him—and this very day!—a son to sit on his throne.
 7-8 “And now here I am: GOD, my God, you have made me, your servant, ruler of the kingdom in place of David my father. I’m too young for this, a mere child! I don’t know the ropes; hardly know the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ of this job. And here I am, set down in the middle of the people you’ve chosen, a great people—far too many to ever count.
 9 “Here’s what I want: Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil. For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?”
 10-14 God, the Master, was delighted with Solomon’s response. And God said to him, “Because you have asked for this and haven’t grasped after a long life, or riches, or the doom of your enemies, but you have asked for the ability to lead and govern well, I’ll give you what you’ve asked for—I’m giving you a wise and mature heart. There’s never been one like you before; and there’ll be no one after. As a bonus, I’m giving you both the wealth and glory you didn’t ask for—there’s not a king anywhere who will come up to your mark. And if you stay on course, keeping your eye on the life-map and the God-signs as your father David did, I’ll also give you a long life.”

I found a deeper perspective from the King James Version of this text:  A God-listening heart is a heart with skill to listen* to the whisper of the Holy Spirit, sent to guide me into the will of God for me and intent on making me a blessing for those who God hopes I will serve with His love. [*Note: The King James Version of the Bible has a note in the central reference column that offers a secondary interpretation of the phrase “discerning heart” as “a heart with skill to listen”.]

I learned from Solomon’s actions that if I wanted to delight the heart of God with my requests, I needed to humble myself and ask for a heart skilled in the art of listening.

Turning Point

This turning point experience inspired me to alter my prayers each day.  Since then I begin each day much like Solomon, praying for a heart with skill to listen so even the whisper of the Holy Spirit could be heard. Especially at times when it was critical to hear the guidance of God, I pray this way during the day. Countless times since then, the guidance of God has brought extraordinary experiences into my life.

This turning point also prompted me to create a seminar on communication with a primary emphasis on the art of listening. I intend to offer this Communication Seminar in the future in an on-line setting.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER

My Art Teacher’s Lesson

Great turning points in my life occurred during my four years in high school. There I was blessed with some extraordinary teachers. I planned to attend college after my high school graduation to earn a degree in engineering. Consequently, I enrolled in what was termed “College Preparatory Course”. This curriculum required a heavy dose of science and mathematics classes and intense English classes. I shared this curriculum of courses with other students headed to college. When I entered college, I found that I had received an education equal to or better than my fellow college students who attended expensive prep schools.

The intense nature of the College Prep curriculum left little room for anything else, specifically interesting elective courses. However, I was somehow able to sneak in a year of art with Ms. Marie Sauer. From my earliest years, I loved art. I made all the Disney characters in colored construction paper and hung them from a wire coat hanger creating a mobile. Colored construction paper became the medium for creating my book report covers. I also sculpted characters from the movies, specifically horror movies like Frankenstein and Dracula. My passion for art since childhood motivated me to seize a place in Ms. Marie Sauer’s art class when as an elective it became available to me.

ms sauer final-12Ms. Sauer’s encouraging words to me as my art projects were being created were just one of the many attributes of her teaching style. I especially appreciated her positive way of helping me overcome my fear of tackling a project I deemed beyond my talent and capability.

A case in point was my reticence at tackling a drawing project in the medium of charcoal. In her classroom was a sculpture of the bust of Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln was a hero of mine, so I wanted to somehow produce a piece of artwork using that sculpture. Ms. Sauer’s challenge to me was to shine a light on the bust from a certain angle, then draw the resulting image in charcoal. My initial reluctance to use charcoal for this project was overcome with the urging and encouragement of Ms. Sauer’s convincing counsel. The result was to hang in my library to this day.

Abraham Lincoln Bust - blogAbraham Lincoln Bust in Charcoal (1958)

After I graduated from college, I was on an assignment in Las Vegas, Nevada that required daily trips into the desert. On the way to my work destination I saw signs for a Nevada State Park called the Valley of Fire. On one of the few days I had off of work, I journeyed through this amazing natural wonder. The colors of the natural creation gave credence to the name for it surely seemed to be ablaze with fire.

Valley of Fire-1Valley of Fire – Nevada State Park

This experience planted a seed in me, a certain image burned into my memory. That seed came to life when I enrolled in graduate school some months later. Each night when I came home late after classes, I was too wound up to get to sleep. I needed something to help me to relax. My solution was to make an oil painting of the image that the Valley of Fire inspired in me months before.
I purchased a canvas and mounted it on a wooden frame. Thus began what would be a project that spanned more than two years.

I started the project by sketching the image I had in my mind onto the canvas. I imaged a bush on fire as I walked through the Valley of Fire State Park that day in the summer of 1965. Now, I worked to put this image onto the canvas. I purchased oil paints in the colors I knew I needed to achieve the color effects the painting required.

My concept for the painting was to create an image comprised of triangles. Each triangle would be painted a solid color. No two triangles of the same color were to touch each other save for at a point of an adjoining triangle. There would be three basic elements of the painting. The first was the ground on which the bush was growing. The second was the bush itself. The third was the fire and its resultant glow as it encompassed the bush. I hoped to produce in the mind of the viewer of the final piece a sense of a bush growing on a hill ablaze with a fire whose essence was exploding outward like the sun. I also used the shapes of the triangles to combine with the colors to give the visual effect I tried to achieve. Larger and bolder triangles were used for the ground and narrow triangles were used for the roots and branches of the bush. The fire triangles were also elongated to give the bursting effect I wanted to portray.

With this in mind I began by painting the ground, a “ground-up” sort of plan, probably based on my engineering thinking. This project soon became a greater challenge than I first imagined. Abiding by the rules I established, I had to create forty seven different shades of brown to join the color black. What made this particularly difficult was the fact that I needed to reserve lighter shades of brown for the branches and roots of the bush and the varied shades of brown the bush would required.

Each night I set to work a new shade of brown was mixed on my pallet until the ground was completed. Once the ground was completed I began to work on the bush. This required a variety of lighter shades of brown to distinguish it from the ground and produce the effect I needed to enable the viewer to see the bush, its branches and roots.

When the bush was completed, I tackled the bursting effect of the fire encompassing the bush. I accomplished this effect by blending the colors of the triangles from bright yellows nearest the bush to dark reds at the periphery of the painting. The shpe of the triangles enhanced this effect.

All this painting of triangles necessitated painting most of it with a paint brush with only a few hairs. This was required to paint the sharp points of the triangles. Again, the challenge with this area of the painting was to create a large number of shades of yellows, oranges and reds to achieve the effect desired without violating the established rules.

The painting was created over the two and half years of my MBA graduate studies. Each night upon returning home from classes, except for the months I was courting my wife, I spent an hour or so painting three to five triangles at a time. I created a shade of a particular color, then with that color triangles were added to the canvas. It was a long and tedious project but it gave me peace and prepared me for a good night of rest.

I have called the resulting oil painting my masterpiece. It is the image of Moses’ Burning Bush from the Bible. I often told visitors to our home gazing at my painting to “take off your shoes as you are standing on hallowed ground” inspiring them to say, “Ah! It’s Moses’ burning bush!”

Burning Bush of Moses

The Burning Bush of Moses (1967-1970)

After my master piece was completed I continued to exercise my passion and joy for art. I have explored a number of various forms, working with hook rug art, photography, and wood work. But what I found to be most interesting was the way God used my passion and interest in art as a means to open opportunities for me to be a blessing for someone I met along my path of life.

Turning Points

Ms. Sauer challenged me to explore my limits and develop my talents in the arts. That was a turning point for me. It was not only relative to my art and creativity self-esteem, it also applied in my life generally. We all have God-given talents. Each of these talents have a purpose that may be hidden from our realization for years only to be resurrected at just the right time to allow us to employ them to be a blessing for someone.

The consequence of this turning point relative to my art talents was my personal joy in expressing these talents through art in many forms. Whether we see the beauty of art in the Creation and its wonders or in the art created via the talents of others, appreciating art in all its varied forms adds immeasurably to our lives.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN E. MUSTERER

The Bird’s Funeral

As our son Randy was growing up, we taught him to pray at meal times. I would pray and then he would pray. We prayed not only offering thanksgiving for the food but also asking for a blessing upon it followed by a plea for those we knew who faced some difficult situations. On Sundays and Wednesday evenings Randy accompanied us to church where I served as a lay minister. He witnessed me serving and experienced our family serving others. When visitors came to our church services, we had them come to our home for a meal and conversation. So this story about Randy was not a real surprise to us considering his being raised in a home where a culture of serving others existed.

An only child, Randy found it necessary to make friends with all the children in the neighborhood. He mastered the art of building friendships evidenced by the respect his friends showed him. They saw Randy was their leader. Often when we came home from a brief trip, a half a dozen or more youngsters were sitting on the curb in front of our house waiting for Randy to return. He was the one to lead them on their daily adventures. He was very successful at it because they all kept coming back for more.

One Saturday morning I went out into our backyard prior to our planned shopping trip. I discovered a dead bird lying on the patio floor just below our large picture window. The bird had apparently flown into the window and broke its neck. Not wanting to delay our departure, I didn’t mention my discovery to Randy until we got home.
Returning later that morning from our shopping, I parked our car into the driveway. When we exited the car we were greeted with a united chorus from the assembled crowd of children at the curb, “Can Randy come out to play?”
With the news of the dead bird, Randy rounded up his friends and immediately made a bee line for the back yard patio.

Carol and I emptied the car of the morning purchases and I promptly left again as I had another errand to run. I didn’t discover what happened with the deceased bird until I returned home a few hours later. Then Carol told me the rest of the story as she filled me in on what transpired.

When Randy and his friends found the dead bird, he immediately hatched a plan. Randy asked his mother if she had a small box. As it turned out we had a small rectangular wooden box from a block of cheese we had previously purchased. Carol was saving it for some undefined use, so she thought this was as good a use as any.

 $_35

Randy now needed some linen and cotton to line the box. Carol supplied these by giving him an old handkerchief of mine and some cotton balls. Randy organized a team effort with his friends to fashion a coffin from these materials. They lined the box with the handkerchief and cushioned it with the cotton.

Once finished, the bird was gently laid in the makeshift casket. They placed the open casket in Randy’s little red wagon. The lid to the box was laid next to it. Randy now asked the girls to pick some flowers from the garden to decorate the casket and wagon. A potpourri of flowers was laid in the wagon surrounding the casket. The funeral procession was now ready to begin.

The entourage of mourners marched around the neighborhood in single file. Randy pulled the wagon with the line of children following in single file, all heads bowed in serious sadness and silent dirge. For the neighbors, it must have been quite a sight with the parade of solemn little four to six year old children following a red wagon filled with flowers surrounding an open casket.

Radio-Flyer-Classic-Red-Wagon--pTRU1-3023390dtAfter circuiting the neighborhood the procession returned to our backyard. Randy retrieved a small shovel from our shed and found a place in Carol’s flower garden to dig the grave. The dirt in our yard was not conducive to easy digging as it was made mostly of clay and rocks with only a six inch covering of topsoil. Randy began earnestly to dig, but once he hit the clay, the effort to dig deeper became significantly difficult. When he got to about twelve inches deep it got so difficult Randy was prompted to consult with his mother once again.

“Mom,” he said, “does the grave really have to be six feet deep?”

Carol replied, “Randy, for the bird it only has to be twelve inches deep.”

Dilemma solved, the grave was now ready to receive its occupant. But one more thing needed to be done. Randy asked his mother for the family Bible.

The funeral scene was now fully prepared and ready. Randy, holding the Bible in his hands, presented to the assembled congregation of friends a brief funeral sermon and eulogy for the bird. After a short but heartfelt prayer, he placed the lid on the box and secured it. Gently laying the casket into the grave, the children took turns throwing dirt into the grave.

With the grave covered and strewn with flowers, the kids went out to the front of the house to continue their play.

Soon Randy’s friend Tommy came home. He was out with his parents and missed the whole funeral and burial experience. All of Randy’s pals excitedly told Tommy in great detail the funeral they had for the dead bird. Filled with shock and disappointment, Tommy immediately began to cry and sob uncontrollably. He stood shaking with tears flowing down his cheeks. It was just too much to have missed for this six year old lad.

Randy couldn’t bear to see his good friend Tommy so distraught. He put his arm around Tommy and calmly assured him, “Don’t cry Tommy, we’ll do the funeral all over again!”

So out came the wagon and shovel and the bird’s casket was carefully exhumed. Placed in the wagon with the flowers the process in its entirety was repeated for Tommy’s benefit. That little bird was blessed with not one but two funerals!

Turning Points

What touched me about this experience was Randy’s compassion and sensitivity to Tommy’s feelings. His immediate resolution of the situation was impressive. He obviously learned a lot of details from witnessing funerals that I had conducted. Randy’s love of animals prompted him to provide a dignified burial for this dead stranger that lost its life in our yard. Randy’s character, his sensitivity to the feelings of others, knowing he could make a difference, and respecting life of the animals he loved would serve him well throughout his life.

A turning point for me was a deeper realization that how parents live and act has a powerful and effective influence on the character of their children. As the old adage states, “actions speak louder than words.” A parent may not realize it at the moment, but their conduct is a significant factor in the life of their children.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN E. MUSTERER

Math Teacher Philosophy

In my four years at Garfield High School, I took specific mathematics classes to prepare myself for studying engineering in college. My first year I had Algebra I. The second year I had two math classes, Algebra II and Geometry. The third year Solid Geometry-Trigonometry combined into one class. My final year I studied Calculus.

My Solid Geometry-Trigonometry class was taught by Mr. Peter Hubiak, a seasoned mathematics teacher who came with a well known reputation for strictness.

Mr. Peter Hubiak- newMr. Peter Hubiak

Mr. Hubiak was a real character. Most of the students teased him behind his back because of his idiosyncrasies. He always seemed to have chalk stains on his suit jacket and a perpetual bulge of pens and pencils in his breast pocket that threatened to burst the pocket’s seams. The careful observer of details discovered soup stains on his tie and even on the front of some of his shirts peeking out from the edges of the lapels of his suit jacket. He was one of the oldest teachers on the staff. In fact, he was really old in my view because he had taught my parents!

Mr. Hubiak turned out to be a harbinger of wisdom that went beyond his expert teaching of solid geometry and trigonometry. He frequently philosophized during class. He would preach wisdom that stuck with me, probably because under the teenage critique of him there lay a certain measure of profound respect. His germs of wisdom took root in me and over time saved me from many potential losses both financially and career wise.

One of his philosophical offerings was his statement, “You can’t get something for nothing.”

That may sound simple and maybe even trivial, by many a time in life a prospect that seemed too good to be true tempted me to invest my resources. Then his words echoed in my mind and I resisted the temptation. Future events revealed how that little impulse saved me from serious financial losses. To this day I am grateful for Mr. Hubiak’s persistent preaching to us as teenagers.

Another offering was this suggestion that applied, as I later in life discovered, not only to solving mathematical problems but life problems as well.

He said, “When you are facing problems and situations that seem to overwhelm you, stop and go back to basic principles. Apply them and the solution will reveal itself.”

One of the most important turning points for me came with this “Hubiak-ism” as a key element. At a critical moment in my engineering career, when I was severely challenged, my God reminded me of this precious gem of wisdom from my teacher. It lay dormant in the crevices of my mind and was resurrected with meticulous timing to make a huge difference in facing a seemingly overwhelming challenge. [Refer to the story titled “It Doesn’t Work – Fix It” to see how this simple but profound solution evolved into a big professional success.]

Turning Point

The realization that wisdom can come from the least expected people who come into our life unexpectedly is a true turning point. It reveals the understanding that God can and will use anyone to fulfill His purpose for us. We just need to position ourselves to be extricated from our prejudices, judgments and fears so we are open to the blessings that can flow from these unexpected sources. Turning point phrases also find application beyond the obvious, as I have discovered in the spiritual part of life when resorting to “basic principles” as simply asking God through heartfelt prayer.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN E. MUSTERER

APPRECIATION

I have a fascination for words and their meanings. Some very potent words are seldom used but carry great meaning and implications. Other words are used frequently but have lost the full scope of their meaning because we don’t give them a second thought. We become satisfied with an incomplete understanding of what they convey.

When I prepare for any sermon or presentation, I often consult the dictionary to gain an understanding of a specific word in order to embrace the full scope of its meaning. I have an excellent resource in my old college dictionary that always seems to provide a wider scope for explaining the meaning of words in greater depth than some other resources.

Years ago, investigating the meaning of the word “appreciation” I initially found the following:
“the act of estimating the qualities of things and giving them their proper value”

I found myself dissatisfied with this meaning so I resorted to my old college dictionary. There I found this:
“the exercise of wise judgment, delicate perception, and keen insight in realizing the worth of something”

I began to dissect this meaning as the implication of the description fascinated me. As I investigated each component I found that some additions were apropos. After sometime of deliberation I settled on the following:
“the exercise of wise judgment, delicate perception, keen insight and sensitive awareness in realizing the worth or value of something or someone”

I then began to further my study by analyzing each word or phrase. I found the following to be true and worthwhile in understanding what appreciation really means.

Exercise is the putting forth of effort by me for my benefit. Exercise requires deliberate action on my part often requiring sacrifice and painful exertion to accomplish the task for which it is rendered.

Wise judgment is my evaluation that employs my cache of knowledge. When I exercise wise judgment, I engage my knowledge of the relevant subject under study, and add to it my comprehension of that subject and complete it with my understanding of its implications. I am then positioned to make a valid judgment.

Delicate perception is the view I have when my vision is based on my observation of the finer points. Here, I look not at the big picture, but rather focus deliberately on the finest details of my subject. I question what I see with the intention of looking deeper to find even greater detail. This allows me to find treasures that the casual observer may overlook.

Keen insight implies that the sharpness of my investigation is cutting deep and looking under the surface beyond the obvious. With the thought that nothing is ever what it appears to be, keen insight instigates the deeper exploration below the visible surface. It provides an understanding of what is at work creating what is seen in the open.

Sensitive awareness is the faculty to use all my senses to be aware, touched and moved. With this talent, I am equipped to see the peripherals that enhance or detract from the subject under consideration and make adjustments to my perspective appropriately.

Realizing the worth or value is making the treasure real to me. When the four exercises above are completed and fully engaged, worth and values are not merely known but they are real and possessed.

Something or someone indicates that appreciation applies to material things and people. When we consider this expansion to people we can understand a spiritual component to appreciation’s meaning. The crowning of appreciation then is when we truly appreciate our God and all the goodness that flows from Him to me.

The Turning Point
Since this in depth understanding of appreciation became clear to me, I found myself finding deep appreciation for the things I have and the people in my life. These truly have become greater in value and worth than ever before. A fascinating result of continued conscious and deliberate exercise of appreciation’s four sources, the more we value what we have in our possession.

COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN E. MUSTERER