Psalm 56:11 (NKJV)
In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
Mark 5:36 (NKJV)
As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.”
Luke 8:50 (NKJV)
But when Jesus heard it, He answered him, saying, “Do not be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well.”
One of the greatest fears is hearing a doctor say, “I am sorry, but you have cancer.” Known as the “C” word, having a diagnosis of cancer evokes fear of not only death but a death preceded by agonizing pain and suffering. Cancer is unique in that it can attack just about every organ in the human body. And worse, it has a way of sneaking up on you with little or no waring symptoms.
I don’t remember when my mother confided in me that I was born with cancer. Weeks after my birth a birthmark on my back turned black in a matter of hours. She summoned our doctor who excised a cancerous tumor that was miraculously contained in a fleshy sack. Afterward I was treated with radium to ensure that none of the cancer had escaped into my body. For 1943, this was a rare episode in a child’s life.
By the grace of God, the cancer was successfully removed with a lifelong scar and gap in my back muscle the only consequence.
For decades, I witnessed many people in my life who suffered cancer in a myriad of types with a wide variety of consequences. Most eventually lost their lives either directly or indirectly from the cancers that plagued them.
I was 76 years old when cancer came again to knock on my door. It came as was common for men over 50 to find its way to the prostate gland. It has been a common annual test for men’s physical exams to include PSA in a comprehensive blood test. PSA stands for Prostate-Specific Antigen, a protein produced by normal as well as malignant cells in the prostate gland. The PSA test measures the level of PSA in the blood.
For men in their 40s and 50s, PSA levels of below 2.5 ng/ml is normal. This age group has a normal range of 0.6 to 0.7 ng/ml. Men in their 60s are considered abnormal at PSA levels above 4.0 ng/ml and normal between 1.0 and 1.5 ng/ml. Diligent doctors will not only consider the levels but will watch for trends over time.
Since I had family members who were both older and younger that me who had been diagnosed with prostate cancer as well as other cancers, my doctors where carefully watching my annual blood tests. For more than 10 years, my urologist and internist monitored the PSA levels of my annual blood workups.
When my PSA levels were approaching 4.0 ng/ml, my urologist performed a needle biopsy of the prostate. The PSA levels slowly inched up each year but at very small increments. Then in July 2019 my annual physical exam’s blood test revealed an alarming jump from 4.0 to 8.0 ng/ml. This sparked an urgent appointment with my urologist, Dr. Naitoh.
The doctor recommended a comprehensive needle biopsy to see if cancer was present. Since the biopsy was going to be more extensive than the previous one done in the office, this one required a hospital outpatient procedure under anesthesia.
At the same time, I was suffering for eight months with extreme pain due to a bout with polymyalgia rheumatica. I was amid constant efforts to deal with the ravages of the disease. I also was facing the need for total knee replacement surgery. It was decided to delay the prostate biopsy to November 14th. The biopsy results came in on November 21st.
Carol and I met with Dr. Naitoh on November 21st. Not knowing the results of the biopsy prior to our meeting, I prayed and asked God to guide me with His Spirit to help me make the right decision for whatever the outcome of the tests. I also asked if He would have His Spirit guide my doctor to provide me with the best information to lead me to the best decision.
The doctor wasted no time telling us that the biopsy revealed two small sites with cancer cells. He said that the type of cancer was very slow growing and the typical protocol for this cancer was to take a “wait and see” approach. However, the doctor advised that he would recommend a very aggressive treatment. He based this on the fact that the PSA level had so rapidly doubled. That fact revealed to him that something out of the norm was going on with my case. The pieces of evidence didn’t stack up to what would normally be the plan to move forward. We agreed with his advice to move forward aggressively.
The doctor proceeded to present several possible procedures and the typical side and long-term effects of each. They included a variety of surgical and radiation solutions and combinations of both. Then he added a solution that was new to me. It was a radiation solution called CyberKnife. The doctor gave us a few brochures that gave details of the various solutions.
Carol and I returned home and did our research that included contacting my relatives and friends who had used some of the options. I prayed and sought the guidance of the Holy Spirit as considered each option. The CyberKnife solution rose to the top consideration for several reasons. The two reasons that became paramount in influencing my decision were the better long-term and short-term effects and my experience with radiation.
CyberKnife was somewhat of a misnomer as there is no “knife” in the procedure. The procedure required the planting of two small pure gold “seeds” the size of a grain of rice at the biopsy located cancer sites. These fiducials are used in the radiation process. After the fiducials are implanted the patient’s prostate a cat scan and MRI are performed and used to locate alignment marks placed on the patient’s torso. The procedure then begins for five consecutive days for treatment. The procedure places the patient on a bed in the treatment room. A series of alignments are made using the results from the cat scan and MRI data and the alignment marks on the patient’s torso. A radiation source is mounted on a robot and once the patient is aligned on the bed, the process begins. The process moves the radiation source by the robot moving into successive angles to focus a low energy radiation beam through the prostate. The key is that this process focuses on the fiducials and hence the cancer cells while minimizing the radiation exposure to the adjacent healthy cells.
In the late 1970’s and the 1980’s I was working with radiation applications to the solution of many issues in industry. Focused radiation solutions were found to be extremely effective. This experience gave me confidence in CyberKnife technology. As this personal understanding surfaced during my deliberations on which solution to embrace, I felt that this was the spiritual guidance I was seeking.
On December 9th we met again with Dr. Naitoh and discussed our decision to employ the CyberKnife procedure to treat my prostate cancer. The doctor arranged for us to meet with Dr. Fuller at the CyberKnife facility.
During the previous days since the biopsy revelation, I was daily investigating the various treatments for prostate cancer and the side effects on the computer. Now having decided on CyberKnife, I continued my internet searches with renewed focus. We had an appointment with Dr. Fuller on December 19th. On the evening of December 18th, I made my final inquisition on the computer. Unlike previous inquiries, something new appeared on the screen.
An advertisement for SpaceOAR Hydrogel appeared for the first time in my searches. I read the ad:
SpaceOAR Hydrogel is a PEG-based hydrogel designed to temporarily create space between the prostate and rectum and reduce the radiation dose delivered to the rectum during radiation therapy. It has been clinically shown to help minimize urinary, sexual and bowel side effects and help protect the quality of life for prostate cancer patients undergoing radiation therapy.
As I read this I wondered, why did this come up now? Does it have any bearing on my decision for CyberKnife? Is it confirmation or a warning?
The name “Hydrogel” stuck in my memory, and I included it specifically in my prayers to attain a level of guidance and confirmation from the Holy Spirit.
The next morning Carol and I met with Dr. Fuller. We were waiting for the doctor to come into the exam room when I looked around the room. I noticed on the counter a plastic document holder with brochures titled Hydrogel! I poked Carol and directed her attention to the brochures. We exchanged smiles.
Doctor Fuller arrived and we discussed the CyberKnife procedure. He answered our questions and shared with us the results experienced by past patients.
Finally, I asked my burning question, “Doctor Fuller, I noticed on the counter the Hydrogel brochures. What is your perspective on Hydrogel?”
He responded enthusiastically, “I would not perform our CyberKnife procedure without Hydrogel.”
He then went on to describe how Hydrogel is employed. When the gold seed fiducials are inserted into the prostate, the Hydrogel is applied as well.
I felt that this whole experience with Hydrogel was God’s way of confirming our decision for CyberKnife.
We made the final decision and set up the next steps for the procedure. Due to the other issues, I was facing at the time, we decided to delay the CyberKnife until March 5th, 2020.
On that date, the gold fiducials and the Hydrogel were inserted at the CyberKnife facility. The Cat Scan and MRI were performed on March 10th. Then on Monday March 30th and through April 3rd, I underwent each day the CyberKnife procedure. I began taking Flomax medication to keep any prostate swelling to a minimum.
The first PSA blood test following the procedure was June 2nd that revealed the PSA down to 1.5 ng/ml, down from 8.9 that was the last reading prior to the CyberKnife treatment. On July 16th I met with Dr. Naitoh who said that the Prostate had shrunk 20% and that the bladder was unaffected and healthy. By October 5th the PSA was down to 1.0 ng/ml.
In April my PSA was down to 0.7 ng/ml. The PSA levels continued to drop and by 2023 it was down to 0.1 ng/ml. Except for some minor bleeding from the prostate from November 2020 through March 2021, the side effects were essentially nonexistent.
I acknowledge how I was guided by the Holy Spirit in making the decisions and the doctors were led to provide the advice that helped see the right path for me. I found it fascinating how my past work experience and the internet searches played into the decision-making process.
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TURNING POINTS
When we take the time to search our experiences, turning points are revealed along with the parts that our faith and trust in God have played. Inspirational are these discoveries and the critical part that God has in the results of our decisions. Sharing our turning points can hopefully inspire others to consider their own turning points that changed their lives forever.
Recommended reading on Cancer: Cancerland, by Dr. David Scadden