Criticism is something everyone experiences. The question is what it means to the recipient? A major consideration in answering that question is what is the character of that person? How do they feel about themselves? What is their sensitivity? There are many possible responses to criticism. Some are highly offended on one end while others are appreciative because it allows one to improve by self-examination.
Criticism is leveled from one to another as disapproval of perceived faults or mistakes. The intensity of the criticism is typically based on the perceived cost of the mistake. The intensity is also affected by the possible stress in the relationship between the parties.
As a youth, I was very sensitive to criticism. It was painful because it made me feel like I was less than who I wanted to be. It made me feel like a failure. But I was at a point in maturity that required learning who I was and who I wanted to be. In a surprising moment of clarity, I drew a conclusion. In retrospect, it was a very mature and wise decision. I developed a way to accept and deal with criticism that I deemed would never end.
Criticism, I decided was a way of life. No matter how good or bad you are, criticism dwells in every life. And it will come out of many spirits and under many names. It will be the result of jealousy, anger, resentment, and political sides and on the other hand it will surface as genuine interest in support of another person. I have experienced all of these.
When someone wants to mask their criticism, they will offer it with the weak caveat of “constructive criticism”. Seldom is such criticism accepted as “constructive”. It still bites the ego and does little to assuage the hurt the criticized feels.
The perspective that I chose for receiving the inevitable criticism I know I will experience in the circle of my relationships is this:
Criticism, regardless of the spirit with which it is offered,
Has at least some shreds of truth.
I challenge myself to rise above any sense of hurt.
And search for that truth shred and embrace it.
Then use it to change into a better person.
This perspective provides some very important and valuable benefits. Initially, it gives some relief to the hurt because it gives potential value to the criticism. It reveals a weakness that I previously did not see and now am able to address and resolve. Additionally, I see the value of a specific criticism to make me a better person. I can now easily not only forgive the critic but also thank them for helping me see the truth.
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TURNING POINTS
This realization of criticism and how it can be seen as a benefit to growth and maturity was a big turning point that has served me throughout my life in service, friendship and business.