Zoey, my sweetest teacher
Life lessons and turning points have come to me at the least expected times and from unexpected people. Turning points happened without warning and surprised me in spite of my efforts to be prepared for them. Such was the case with a very young girl who proved to be one of my greatest teachers and the initiator of numerous turning points for my life.
All my experiences with Zoey as a little girl and all the way through her teenage years were life lessons that proved to be profoundly beneficial even to this day. One of those experiences came when I attended a birthday party for Zoey’s grandfather, Dave.
My wife and I were at Dave’s son’s home early one evening to celebrate Dave’s birthday. As I stood amongst the crowd of Dave’s friends and family, I looked across the room and noticed five year old Zoey nestled in her grandpa’s arms. I approached to greet her. As I neared she noticed me and put her hands on her hips in gentle indignation and said, “When will you come to visit ME?”
Not expecting this, I said in defense, “But I do come to visit you Zoey!”
She said, “No! You come and visit my mommy and daddy and then I have to go to bed!”
I said, “Zoey, I will visit you and we can send your parents to bed.”
I immediately set out in search of her mother, Dawn. Once found I proceeded to tell Dawn of my little conversation with Zoey. We arranged a visit for the following week.
In the days leading up to this first-of-a-kind visit for me, I wondered what it would be like. As a minister I made many pastoral family visits, but I had never made a visit exclusively to such a young child. My preparation for any pastoral visit included praying that I would be a blessing and bring something of value to the church members I visited. This was no different, except I must have prayed more fervently because out of this visit God provided a most effective turning point for me.
When the day dawned for my visit, everything seemed normal. Nothing in the day seemed out of the ordinary. After dinner, I dressed for my visit donning a sport coat and tie. I prayed prior to leaving home and drove the twenty miles to Zoey’s home. Still, everything seemed normal, belying what was about to happen.
When I arrived, I searched the area around the apartment building for a parking spot. I pulled into a spot on the street, gathered myself for this experience and prayed one last prayer for divine guidance and support. All the time I wondered how this visit would unfold. I climbed a flight of stairs and knocked on the door.
Quickly the door opened and Zoey greeted me in the doorway with her mother at her side. I was warmly welcomed and Zoey announced excitedly, “I made you some cookies!”
As I entered the apartment, Zoey asked me if I wanted milk or coffee to go with the cookies she made. I opted for the coffee and Zoey and Dawn made quick work of getting my coffee and Zoey’s milk on the coffee table in the living room. Zoey’s dad Greg came in to say hello and then he and Dawn went off to their bedroom, just as I had arranged.
Zoey and I sat down in the living room eating cookies and sharing our thoughts. I was thrilled at the depth of the conversation we shared. It was a really a sweet evening. I learned a lot about Zoey and what was important to her young mind. After about an hour, we prayed together and her parents emerged from their self imposed isolation to say good night.
As I drove home that evening I reflected on the deeper bond between us that had just been built. Time and experience later proved how deep and mutually beneficial this turning point really was for Zoey and me. In the evening together Zoey and I built mutual trust and respect for each other, and this opened doors for us to serve each other as she grew. Just one precious hour, face to face, heart to heart, soul to soul, and everything became different. God worked in the most wonderful way to create this blessing for us just as He would later open many more blessings. I marveled at His meticulous ingenuity as I witnessed His plans unfold before my eyes and He visited me with yet another turning point.
Turning Points
In addition to enhancing the relationship Zoey and I shared, this experience ushered in the understanding that such visits with all children created a connection with them that paid many dividends in their future and our relationship.
This experience gave me an interesting insight into the heart of children. It was a turning point in how I perceived my ministerial service to children. Following this experience, whenever I was appraised by parents that their child was having difficulties, I would make a visit with their child one-on-one as I had with Zoey. This opened many opportunities to develop a relationship that brought many positive results for both child and me.
These precious moments with Zoey revealed wonderful insight into her heart and soul. I developed a great appreciation for her special gifts and talents. She always found a way to touch my heart with how she uniquely saw the people and things around her. As you will see in future postings, Zoey became my teacher and this episode was just one of many lessons in our life together.
COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN E. MUSTERER
I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to read about your experience with Zoey that day. Although I remember the visit that you had with her, the particulars about what you two had discussed were always something that I had left to be yours alone. Zoey always amazed me with her determination to do things on her own terms. Her thinking was inventive and outside the box and, thankfully, she was more than willing to share her ideas and wishes with us. I often reflect on the cherished times that I spent alone with her, talking about life, what made us happy and what made us sad. In retrospect, the discussions that we had together transcended typical father-daughter talks, often evolving into imaginative and in-depth dialogs about everything from the analysis of comedy to the secret lives of cherished pets.
I feel blessed that you remain an important and influential part of our spiritual lives as well as a cherished friend. Your presence, guidance and comfort at many turning points in our lives have been deeply important to me and my family.