For 38 years after she was widowed, my mother-in-law Clara lived alone in an upstairs apartment in New Jersey. It was a small flat in the house of her nephew and his family. Her younger sister lived just across the street so Clara was surrounded by loving and supportive family members. Carol and I lived 2800 miles across the country in San Diego. Carol’s brother Rudy lived about an hour’s drive away from Clara in Sussex County in northwestern New Jersey.
In early June of 2014, Carol and I had just returned from our Alaska vacation when Clara’s sister Helen called. She told us that Clara’s loss of short term memory was in her opinion becoming a safety issue. She asked Carol to visit and make her own assessment of the situation. Carol and I discussed the situation and decided that Carol needed fly back to New Jersey and get a firsthand view of Clara’s true state of health.
Soon after her arrival, Carol realized the situation was indeed a cause for concern and something needed to be done. She collaborated with her brother Rudy and embarked on a thorough investigation as to how they would deal with Clara’s short term memory issues.
First, Clara needed a thorough physical and medical evaluation. They met with an elder care professional to get an understanding as to how best to deal with the results of the medical findings. It become very clear that Clara would need to have some level of assistance in her daily life.
Various scenarios were considered. It was concluded that the most appropriate course of action was to find an assisted living facility. But the question was where?
The two options were somewhere in New Jersey or a move to San Diego. While Carol and Rudy investigated details of available facilities in New Jersey, I embarked on an investigation of facilities in the San Diego area.
All of this transpired over two and half months. Considering all of the information that was gathered, it became clear that the best course was to bring Clara to San Diego. But that posed some challenges.
Clara suffered from claustrophobia so flying was a big hurdle that had to be overcome. Carol was under a lot of stress because there were so many details weighing on the decision. She called me for support and I told her what I had learned from two previous experiences (See “The Volunteer” and “Make-A-Wish” posts).
I told her, “Carol, pray about the decision you need to make and faithfully place it God’s hands. Then make a decision. If it is the right decision, God will bless and support it. If it is the wrong decision, He’ll change things.”
Carol prayed and handed it over to God. She then made the decision to bring her mother to San Diego.
Once the wheels were in motion, everything went smoothly. The family helped move Clara’s furniture into storage and Carol made arrangements on Southwest Airlines for the trip to San Diego. The trip went very smoothly, as the airline personnel treated Clara with utmost care and respect. She never even thought about her claustrophobia and didn’t need any medication to counter it.
When Clara arrived at our home, I told her she could live with us as long as she wanted. So Clara stayed with us for a few weeks. One of Clara’s character traits is that she never wants to put someone out of their normal routine. So for whatever reasons she asked for her own place. That was not surprising as she cherished her independence.
I told her that there were a number of Assisted Living facilities nearby. We arranged to take Clara to view two of them. I thought that if she saw one large and one smaller facility we could get a gauge of what would make her comfortable and happy.
First we visited a small facility, the one nearest our home. Then we went to a large luxury facility a few miles further north. As we were leaving the large facility Clara said, “This place is really nice but it is so big I would feel lost in here. I want to go to the smaller place.”
So the stage was set to move mom to the assisted living facility nearest our home called The Arbors. We met with the staff and made the arrangements for Clara to move in. She would have a newly renovated room with a private bathroom. The move date was set and Carol and I set out to buy the furnishings Clara would need to furnish her room.
The day before the move in, Carol prayed and asked, “All I ask God is that my mother can find at least just one friend at this place so that if a day comes that I can’t visit her, my mother will have a friend.”
The next morning I went to the facility with the furniture kits we had purchased and the tools to assemble them. While I was busy with that effort Carol and her girlfriend went to get mom’s bed.
By the early afternoon the room was arranged and ready for Clara’s arrival. We returned home, packed Clara’s clothes and we headed off to The Arbors Assisted Living.
Clara’s Room at The Arbors
We were standing in Clara’s room when the manager from The Arbors came in to make sure all was well and to offer her personal welcome. She invited Carol and me to join Clara for dinner that evening. Unfortunately I had a business appointment that evening so I couldn’t stay.
I took my leave and went home. Carol remained with Clara to help her assimilate her new home. At dinner time Carol joined her mother for dinner in the dining room.
Carol and Clara enjoyed their first meal together at The Arbors. As the other residents began to leave and pass by their table, Carol stopped them and introduced her mother, “This is my mother Clara. She’s just moved here from New Jersey. This is her first day at the Arbors.”
After a few such introductions, one lady replied, “I’m from New Jersey! I lived in Union City.”
Carol said, “We lived in Gutenberg, right next door!”
The lady said, “I worked in Gutenberg at an embroidery factory.”
Carol said, “My mother and father worked in an embroidery factory too, it was called Solar-Bell.”
The lady said, “That’s where I worked too! My name is Dorothy.”
It soon became clear that over 70 years before, Clara and Dorothy had worked side by side in that embroidery factory. They were friends. Now all those years later they came together in their 90’s almost 3000 miles away from their early life in New Jersey.
Solar Bell Factory
Dorothy upper left, Clara upper right and Clara’s future husband Rudy upper center. (Circa 1940)
When Carol told me this story later that evening, I wrote a report to the local news station telling this amazing story from Carol’s point of view. We were contacted by a reporter from the news station the next day and within a few weeks a meeting was arranged at The Arbors.
The reporter and her camera man from the News Station arrived and we set up for the filming in one of the offices at the Arbors. In the days leading up to the meeting I obtained from Dorothy some old photos that she had from the days in the factory. I made a number of copies and even had some of the photos enlarged.
Carol, Clara and Dorothy were arranged around a table with the photos I had made strewn across the table. The reporter asked the three women questions that inspired nostalgic conversation among them as the cameras rolled.
Dorothy, Clara, Carol & Abbie (News Reporter)
The amazing story broke on the news broadcast a few evenings later. It was such an amazing story it aired on national TV a day or two later.
Quickly social media became a buzz with the amazing story as well. The family members in New Jersey were shocked that their Aunt Clara, who lived in New Jersey for almost 90 years and never made a wave, now in less than a month in San Diego made national news!
Dorothy, Carol and Clara
Turning Point
Once again the turning point experienced with my marine friend years before served me when Carol needed support in making a critical decision. As the numerous events that followed that decision attest, God supported it in so many ways. The most amazing being the answer he gave to Carol’s simple and humble prayer. I am always moved when I witness God’s hand in our life, multiplying blessings for us without end.
COPYRIGHT © 2014 ALLAN EDWARD MUSTERER, All Rights Reserved
Wow! This is so amazing! God truly answers our prayers, so happy for Clara and Dorothy.