Years ago I read a book by Charles R. Swindoll entitled “Living Above the Level of Mediocrity ~ A Commitment to Excellence.” The book fascinated me as the author revealed insights into what it took to answer the call of God. In detail and with illustrative stories he described what enabled a soul to step up and step in to fulfill God’s call.
One particular Bible verse changed my perspective. It was Ezekiel 22:30.
“I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn’t have to destroy it. I couldn’t find anyone. Not one.”
The author notes that in many instances in the Bible history, God searched for just one person to fulfill His will and blessing upon the world’s people. He was looking for that lone eagle to fly above the fray, willing to step up and step in to be a tool in His hands and bless the people.
That person did not need be the most talented or the most perfect, but simply needed to be the most willing. As most people, I felt inadequate, imperfect, flawed, and unworthy of godly tasks. Hence for much of my early life I shied away from God’s calling. I compared myself with others and found myself wanting. When opportunity came I sat down instead of standing up. I assuaged any guilt I felt with the excuse that I was not as good as everyone else.
I remember an instance after graduating from college; I joined a deacon from our church on a pastoral visit. Afterward, I felt very inadequate and seeing so many others who I deemed better than me, I wondered why God would want me to engage in such an important task in the church family. My job soon took me out of town for the next six months and so I was spared having to make a decision.
For nearly a year, my job as an engineer required me to travel and so the opportunity, or better said, God’s calling, slipped out of my thoughts. I began advanced schooling toward a master’s degree and again found reason not to step up and step in.
Rennie, a deacon and friend of mine at church said, “Allan, if you ever want to join me on pastoral visits to our members, just call me.”
I spent two and a half years pursuing a master’s degree, attending evening classes year round. During those years in graduate school, I married and moved to Parsippany with my wife Carol. Evenings were spent attending classes. It was a very busy life.
Shortly after finishing my last class, I came home to my wife one evening after a hard day at the office. I was in a bad mood and was not very pleasant to Carol.
Carol’s father was a priest in our church. Leaning on her experiences in her family and in response to my bad mood she urged me, “Go visiting!”
I said, “Do you really think that’s a good idea considering my attitude right now?”
She said, “Yes! Do me a favor, do yourself a favor and do God a favor and go on a pastoral visit tonight!”
I didn’t agree, but in spite of it I acquiesced. I called my deacon, Rennie, who had years before given me an open invitation to join him on a visit. He was thrilled that I wanted to join him and we arranged for me to meet at his house that evening.
When I arrived at his house, Rennie told me he had previously arranged a pastoral visit to one of my childhood Sunday school teachers. Doris had married a man some years before who was not interested in attending church. I wondered what the visit would be like.
When we arrived at Doris’s house Rennie and I prayed together before we left the car. He asked for the Holy Spirit to guide our words to inspire the man of the house to consider coming to church at least once. He prayed we would be used to be a blessing for the family.
At the front door we knocked and Doris answered. She welcomed us in and we were led to the living room. There we were introduced to her husband, Joe. After shaking hands we were seated on a large comfortable couch opposite Joe who sat in an easy chair across form us. Doris quickly left the room explaining she had to take care of the children.
Rennie began to talk with Joe and immediately was confronted with resistance. He argued at times heatedly with the deacon, pointing out his extensive readings of various religions. Joe made his points by pointing to the many books in the bookcase behind him. I felt so sorry for our deacon and quietly prayed for God’s assistance. Each point Rennie attempted to make was met with adamant resistance. Rennie tried his best to keep the conversation void of such controversy, but every attempt seemed to fail. After about thirty minutes of this, Joe offered each of us a glass of water. He left the room to retrieve our drinks.
During Joe’s brief absence from the room, Rennie looked at me and said, “I am obviously not getting anywhere with this conversation, so when Joe returns, you speak to him.”
I had prayed silently during the deacon’s conversation for his success, but now I had to face stepping up and stepping in to a situation that was quite unfamiliar to me. I quickly prayed a very short prayer and asked God for guidance.
Joe returned with a glass of water for each of us and returned to his seat.
I began saying, “Joe I understand what you are saying. I can attest to your assessments of all these religious books you have read. I had an interesting and corroborating experience when I went to college. I attended a university in Pennsylvania. We did not have any of our churches within my reach. I decided to attend each of the seven churches in town on successive Sunday mornings. I entered each with an open mind and heart and a thirsty, hungry soul.”
As I spoke, Joe, leaning forward in his chair, was paying intense attention to my narrative.
I continued, “I found that each church offered me something of value, something that satisfied a need and longing in me. One, for instance, had a spectacular choir. The hymns and music soothed my soul, but the sermon was uninspiring, simply reporting on the news of the week. Another church had an extraordinary speaker who delivered an entertaining sermon but it was lacking in spiritual content. I discovered that each church satisfied some aspect of my being, but all lacked satisfying my spiritual hunger and thirst resident deep within my soul. It showed me that what I had been experiencing in our church had been encompassing my whole need.”
Joe was now shaking his head in agreement with my message.
I mentioned that I didn’t get satisfaction until I began to read transcripts of sermons from our church.
I said, “Joe, I feel that with your deep interest and searching, evidenced by what you have shared with us this evening, you owe it to yourself and your family to explore what our church has to offer. Why don’t you and your family come at least once to see what I have found to be so valuable?”
Joe responded with a willingness to try it, but made it clear he would make no promises.
Joe asked Doris and the children to join us and the deacon offered up a prayer. We shook hands and departed. I sensed being used by God to make a difference for Joe and his family.
On my drive home I reflected on the experience of the evening. I felt that God used my experience to touch Joe’s heart. Carol was right; putting myself into God’s hand for His work, allowed Him to change my heart and attitude. I returned home a new man that night with a transformed attitude and spirit.
Joe and the family attended at least one of our services, but apparently did not find what he was looking for in our church.
Though somewhat disappointed, I valued the experience of that visit to their family for the turning point it created for me.
A few months later, we moved to San Diego and another call to ministry came my way. Together, Carol and I stepped up and stepped in for another ministry and mission on the other side of the country.
Turning Point
This experience was a turning point in my self-perception as it caused me to realize that in spite of my flaws and weaknesses, as long as I was willing step up and step in, God could and would use me. He would add to me whatever was lacking to affect His perfect divine purpose for those He wanted to bless.
The ensuing years have been filled with experiences wherein I was faced with situations lacking the attributes for success. I somehow found the courage to step up and step in with willingness, faith and trust that God would do what He does best. In our most inadequate moments He does His best work with us, for us and by us.
Not every experience has our expected outcome. The plan of God is not always clear but is always perfect. Sometimes the divine purpose for our experiences takes a long time to unfold and for us to see God’s plan bring forth the intended fruit of the planted seed. This too is a turning point lesson, to patiently wait, trusting that the fruit of God’s perfect will is eventually revealed.
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